Are there any gay teachers or educators on here?- Page 3

[Mister Matt]

Posted: 5/12/10 at 10:17am

And doesn't staying in the closet just reinforce all of those negative stereotypes?

In this case, I don't think so. Anyone of any race, gender or sexual orientation can educate against negative stereotypes. But I'm not sure how outing yourself to a student who may wish to use the information to harm you is beneficial and there is no way to know for sure. Working with minors is an extremely delicate position and being out doesn't guarantee they will use the information in a positive light. I used to teach acting classes for ages 8-18 and I only had one negative experience. In my older group, I had a brother and sister in the class. Both were perfectly nice. They never came back after the first class. The parents removed them when the kids told them they thought I was gay. Nobody asked me and I never discussed it with my students. That action was based no an assumption. How would openly discussing my being gay make it any better for them or the other students? There is an individual responsibility, I believe, which can be acted upon in many ways that does not involve discussing your own personal homosexuality with the children of others in your workplace. But the biggest responsibility falls on the government, which is still legalizing discrimination against homosexuals. As long as it is still legal, then people feel their bigotry is justified and supported by their own government.

[ErikJ972]

Posted: 5/12/10 at 10:33am

I can only say from personal experience how it has made it better in my own situation. Like I said...I'm completely out at work. Everyone pretty much knows it and I'm rarely asked anymore just because I think everyone knows. Staff and students. My partner comes to school events...it's a non issue. I'm the adviser for the GSA at one of the high schools.
I work in an urban area that has it's share of homophobia. I actually have had students tell me that their opinion of homosexuality has changed because they know me. And several students have told me they never knew a "normal" gay person before. When students do ask me, I see it as a teachable moment.
I guess I don't really see it as a matter of invading my privacy. To me my gayness is part of who I am...no more private than my ethnicity or my eye color.

[Phyllis Rogers Stone]

Posted: 5/12/10 at 11:31am

To Matt's point, unless you actually teach in a state where you aren't protected by law for being gay, I don't know how a student can use the information negatively against you. The problem is that because of these legal inequities, as well as our nation's continued acquiescence to facets of theocratic rule, too many people are willing to accept this in the name of saving their jobs or not causing any trouble or not calling attention to themselves or whatever. And all all continues to give the impression that this is okay. I understand, of course, that it's not an easy issue, and I'm not judging those who are in states that force them to make these decisions, but part of me thinks that if THOSE people aren't doing the work for change, then who is?

I guess I don't really see it as a matter of invading my privacy.

I don't either. I get that it's what people project upon it that it becomes all about your "private life" and your "sex life" and whatnot, but just because someone knows you are gay doesn't really give them THAT much information about you, regardless of how people try to spin it. I could be celibate for years and if someone finds out I'm gay, what do they really know about me? Not much. They might THINK they know something, but it doesn't mean they do.

Like I said earlier, I feel for people who are forced to lie, but I just think we need to collectively start moving forward.

Also, are we just talking about gay men here? The comments about male teachers always having it harder lead me to wonder. Or do gay women who teach have a different set of obstacles? I'm genuinely curious.

This makes me think of all this Elena Kagan nonsense. To some, it's really THAT offensive a question just to wonder if she's gay, especially when she's apparently been known to have a girlfriend? I just don't get it. And then we're supposed to get all up in arms because a Newsweek columnist states that gay people can't play straight because no one will accept it.

I get that not all those things are explicitly related and that perhaps there's no monolithic thought block behind all of it, but seriously, where are we going here? What do we want? Actually, that's not even the right question because I know that there is no "we."

I, personally, don't think my gayness is a big secret or has anything to do with my private life. I, personally, don't think it's offensive to simply ask the question "is so and so gay?" That's just me, though. And ErikJ, I guess.
Updated On: 5/12/10 at 11:31 AM

[SonofRobbieJ]

Posted: 5/12/10 at 12:46pm

Um...you forgot me, douchetard. Thanks a lot.

I think we are at a point in our development as a 'community', whatever that is, where we have to realize that thinking of our gay identity as something 'private' is no longer doing us any good. If we are asking to be able to register with the state as married to another person of the same gender, we no longer can expect any amount of privacy when it comes to our orientation. When it comes to the personal details of how our relationships work (sexually, emotionally, otherwise), of course. But the mere fact that we are gay? We can no longer hide behind the 'privacy' argument.

This is not to say that I don't understand the issues people have to navigate every day, especially when it comes to employment and the possibility of being fired for your orientation. But, growing up, I knew if each of my teachers was married, divorced, single, what have you. Those personal markers of a life lived now have been expanded to include gay couples. If we wish to be included in that way, we can no longer hide behind the closet of 'privacy'.

What was that line from MILK? 'They vote for us two to one if they know they know one of us'? I can't say I disagree with this.

[Phyllis Rogers Stone]

Posted: 5/12/10 at 12:56pm

What was that line from MILK? 'They vote for us two to one if they know they know one of us'? I can't say I disagree with this.

I think it depends on what the vote is. I know people who claim to love and support their gay children and still vote for anti-gay-marriage amendments. I agree with you on pretty much everything else, though.

[SonofRobbieJ]

Posted: 5/12/10 at 1:00pm

Actually, I chose that quote with purpose, since it referred to the banning of gay teachers and their supporters. The road is longer for gay marriage. But it's a road we're on.

[Schmerg_The_Impaler]

Posted: 5/13/10 at 7:38pm

There's this counselor at my school who, though I've never heard him say he's gay, is pretty stereotypically gay, but he's also the funniest and coolest teacher in the school and one of the nicest-- I don't think I've ever heard of anyone disliking him. Pretty much everyone agrees he's awesome. And I agree with what Erik said about some kids saying he was the first "normal" gay person they knew-- a lot of people I know said the exact same thing.

[StockardFan]

Posted: 5/13/10 at 8:14pm

Now I'm wondering who that counselor is, Schmerg. I doubt he was there when I was there? I don't remember anyone like that.

[Schmerg_The_Impaler]

Posted: 5/13/10 at 9:28pm

He came during the last couple of years-- I think he was new last year or the year before, because he wasn't there my freshman year. He's the best, though. When my chorus went on spring trip, he was a chaperone, and everyone argued which bus he got to go on.

[dramamama611]

Posted: 5/14/10 at 5:56am

And to go along with the HS mentality: Schmerg said a mouthful. Because the student LIKE this counselor, it makes it more "ok". If it was a teacher that was NOT liked, kids would not be as accepting.

When we talk about there being problems with it: it may not be legal problems but in other ways. Parents pulling thier kids out of your class, kids being disrespectful, kids actually stalking and making a life MISERABLE, disdain from other staff members....the list goes on and on.

I actually (YEARS AGO) had a family that wouldn't ALLOW their son to be in the classroom of ANY male elementary teacher, because they thought that any man that WANTED to teach little kids MUST be a sexual predator. They had no such issues for their daughter. (Go figure.) And I'm in liberal, liberal Massachusetts!

I like to think (the above tidbit aside) that my community is very accepting...I have many students that are "out" and seem to be no worse for the wear (acceptance-wise). But I don't know if we have any EDUCATORS that are out. (Thinking about it, I'm not sure if we have any that I know ARE gay -- that seems impossible, though.) But truly....I don't know if there would be any backlash...especially if it were directly discussed in the classroom. I talk about gay characters and situations a lot and I've never had any complaints.

[dramamama611]

Posted: 5/14/10 at 5:56am

And to go along with the HS mentality: Schmerg said a mouthful. Because the student LIKE this counselor, it makes it more "ok". If it was a teacher that was NOT liked, kids would not be as accepting.

When we talk about there being problems with it: it may not be legal problems but in other ways. Parents pulling thier kids out of your class, kids being disrespectful, kids actually stalking and making a life MISERABLE, disdain from other staff members....the list goes on and on.

I actually (YEARS AGO) had a family that wouldn't ALLOW their son to be in the classroom of ANY male elementary teacher, because they thought that any man that WANTED to teach little kids MUST be a sexual predator. They had no such issues for their daughter. (Go figure.) And I'm in liberal, liberal Massachusetts!

I like to think (the above tidbit aside) that my community is very accepting...I have many students that are "out" and seem to be no worse for the wear (acceptance-wise). But I don't know if we have any EDUCATORS that are out. (Thinking about it, I'm not sure if we have any that I know ARE gay -- that seems impossible, though.) But truly....I don't know if there would be any backlash...especially if it were directly discussed in the classroom. I talk about gay characters and situations a lot and I've never had any complaints.