Asexuality?- Page 2

[SweetQintheLights]

Posted: 3/25/06 at 2:50pm

"As much as I swoon, giggle, and joke about actors when posting here, I've wondered about myself - in real life, I have no interest in having sex or even a romantic relationship (I've been on one date and realized that it's not for me, at least at this point of my life). Most physical contact freaks me out, even if it's platonic."

Wow! I could not have said it any better!

Zyla- are you sure we are not clones?

[Zyla]

Posted: 3/25/06 at 2:52pm

There's only one of me, as far as I know (and hope!)
I'm tempted to make a joke about microorganisms and asexual reproduction that results in clones, but alas, I've forgotten most of the biology I've ever learned.

[Plum]

Posted: 3/25/06 at 2:54pm

Ideas of homosexuality and heterosexuality did not emerge until the Victorian era.

And even that's a little deceptive; the Victorian era had different ideas on the matter than tthe 20th century, but yes, terms like "Uranian" were being tossed around starting in the 19th. And sexuality was defined before, but differently- the dichotomy was penetrator/penetrated, as per ancient Greece.

[FindingNamo]

Posted: 3/25/06 at 3:05pm

Ah, Plum, that reminds me of how much I hate to leave my Greek friends behind.

Okay, so let's be brutally frank, we're anonymous, it's a message board, who cares, nobody knows who we are.

There are any number of psychological reasons a person can find him or herself developmentally rooted in a pre-adult stage. Some might say "stuck" there. But others point out that people often go through developmental stages at different places than others. Which is true.

But when I read that somebody feels "freaked out" by contact, well, my first impulse is to say, "Hey, you should TALK to somebody about that."

Sometimes people who freak out at contact were contacted inappropriately in the past. Sometimes something traumatic happens to somebody at an important time in the development of their psyche and they never get beyond that.

When people who are moving into adulthood cling to the signifiers of childhood, it could very well be because something happened, or they find the concept of being grown up and responsible for themselves absolutely terrifying. And for such people, what could be more "freak out"able than the pleasure brought on my adult touch?

I have often wondered what the effects would be of so many Baby Boomers refusing to age on their offspring. I wonder if it will be permanent childhood.

Updated On: 3/25/06 at 03:05 PM

[Dollypop]

Posted: 3/25/06 at 3:28pm

For an in-depth discussion of asexuality, please contact our own Albin. He's been asexual ever since a near fatal accident several years ago.

Posted: 3/25/06 at 5:15pm

My meds make me asexual.

[Elphaba]

Posted: 3/26/06 at 12:25am

I never looked at asexuality as not being attracted to either sex, but as having NO interest in sex, period.....

[FindingNamo]

Posted: 3/26/06 at 1:00am

There's a difference between "no interest in" and "freaked out by any contact." One screams for a hell of a lot more therapy than the other.

[Roninjoey]

Posted: 3/26/06 at 1:19am

Updated On: 3/26/06 at 01:19 AM

[FindingNamo]

Posted: 3/26/06 at 1:22am

Gee, I guess I somehow didn't make myself clear when I stated that in the post directly above yours, Ron.

And frankly, given what a friggin grade school this place has become I'm not surprised there's plenty of "ICK! MUSHY STUFF!" sentiment around here.

[Roninjoey]

Posted: 3/26/06 at 1:43am

Oops. Deleted the post then.

Why would anyone get upset about mushy stuff? People are too busy, to be polite, keeping busy to thoughts of their favorite Broadway star. You haven't recieved your copy of the latest Idina/Taye porn yet?

...or was that an outrageous thing for me to say? :P No sexuality in the asexuality thread!

Updated On: 3/26/06 at 01:43 AM

[FindingNamo]

Posted: 3/26/06 at 1:47am

Seriously, dude. Sleep it off.

[sabrelady]

Posted: 3/26/06 at 8:24am

I have a co worker like this . ID's as gay and certainly looks in that direction but virtually never takes any action. He also spends vacation time doing meditation retreats. Not talking just reading, walking the paths . He gets kidded that his real calling was a monk. He is more than funtional, likes theatre, so if he's happy why would I care.

[Elphaba]

Posted: 3/26/06 at 10:16am

a·sex·u·al ( P ) Pronunciation Key (-sksh-l)
adj.
Having no evident sex or sex organs; sexless.
Relating to, produced by, or involving reproduction that occurs without the union of male and female gametes, as in binary fission or budding.
Lacking interest in or desire for sex.


question answered

[FindingNamo]

Posted: 3/26/06 at 10:48am

But to me there's more than one question here. I'm sure there are people who are "lacking interest in or desire for sex." No big whoop, if they're actually happy in their lives. Although I feel sort of sorry for anybody who doesn't ever experience the transcendence of sexual congress.

But I also believe that there are people with enormous unresolved issues that they mask by saying that they have no interest in or desire for sex. Perhaps they haven't figured out "what's going on in their lives" or it's just easier to ignore what if any issues have contributed to their "lacking interest in or desire for sex." But unresolved and ignored issues always, ALWAYS, come up later and bite people on their butts.

And then there's category number 3. People who are "freaked out by contact" of any kind. This is an ENORMOUS red flag. Human touch is an essential part of being a healthy human being. If a person, especially a person with no interest in sex, is incapable of being on a massage table to experience the healing powers of human touch (for example), not only do I feel sorry for them, but I think they're headed for big trouble.

[Elphaba]

Posted: 3/26/06 at 10:53am

Namo, you said "Although I feel sort of sorry for anybody who doesn't ever experience the transcendence of sexual congress."

that sort of implies that sex is the only way one can trascend....my sister is 51, and has never had sex. She transcends through her religion.......sex is not the only thing, and to imply so is not very open to other things.....

[FindingNamo]

Posted: 3/26/06 at 11:10am

Elphaba, I specifically stated "the transcendence of sexual congress." Nowhere at all did I write "this is the only form of transcendence available to human beings."

Ya see? I was talking about the transcendence OF sex. And I do feel sorry for people who have never experienced the transcendence of sex. Of sex. SEX.

I hope that's clearer.

[Zyla]

Posted: 3/26/06 at 11:39am

Maybe it's a little late to say this, but I should have probably chosen different words in my first post. Since there have been responses, I guess it's too late to edit it. I'm sorry if I opened any cans of worms. Hopefully I'll watch my diction for now on.
For the record - I'm aware that I'm nitpicking - I said that I dislike most physical contact. Not "any," certainly not "all."
Again, I'm sorry about any misunderstandings.
Updated On: 3/26/06 at 11:39 AM

[FindingNamo]

Posted: 3/26/06 at 11:51am

It's a worthy topic. And a complicated one. I really would recommend you find yourself somebody to talk to about these issues. And by somebody, I mean a professional.

[Zyla]

Posted: 3/26/06 at 11:58am

Jeez. Is it really such a problem if a person doesn't want, for example, to receive a hug from someone who isn't a family member? (And, no offense, but is it really the business of someone who happens to read my post on a message board? Then again, it's probably my fault for posting it.) I can't believe that one stray phrase - a slang expression, and casually used - sparked such a response. As I said, this will teach me to watch what I type. Again, I apologize.

Anyone want to redirect this thread to its original purpose? Please? It is an interesting topic.

Updated On: 3/26/06 at 11:58 AM

[Elphaba]

Posted: 3/26/06 at 12:07pm

(And, no offense, but is it really the business of someone who happens to read my post on a message board?

if you post it, yup. Zyla, it is not the norm to have a problem getting hugs.....from anyone. You are really doing yourself an injustice by not looking into that and finding out why that is a problem for you. Generally these situations reveal a childhood issue that can easily be resolved. I can't even imagine only hugging family members.....

Namo.....if you "transcend" whenever you have sex, I am very impressed....as I'd say about 90 percent of sexual situations are just sex........nothing more......

[Elphaba]

Posted: 3/26/06 at 12:12pm

oh please, that first guy is GAY, GAY, GAY!

[FindingNamo]

Posted: 3/26/06 at 12:21pm

Namo.....if you "transcend" whenever you have sex, I am very impressed....

Come on, Elphaba. What is it with your impulse to call me on things that I have NOT written in my posts?

Did I ever say I have transcendental sex any significant percentage of the time? Did I reference ANY frequency at all? My point is that people who never have sex, for whatever reason, have no chance at all to experience it.

However, I appreciate your rehashing the points I've been trying to make (after calling me on them) in your own words after I do it.

[Jane2]

Posted: 3/26/06 at 12:36pm

"But I also believe that there are people with enormous unresolved issues that they mask by saying that they have no interest in or desire for sex"

Probably so, but I hope you are allowing that there could be people with no unresolved issues who have had sex in their pasts, and now decided they can, and perhaps prefer, to live without it.

[FindingNamo]

Posted: 3/26/06 at 12:40pm

Yes. As I said in the paragraph above the one you quoted.

I guess, like the rest of the world, BWW OT Board readers need 15 word bullet pointed highlight posts.