Asexuality?

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Asexuality?

Posted: 3/25/06 at 12:17am

I was wondering what everyone thought about this. I can't imagine how it could be possible to not be attracted to anyone but I do believe that it must be real. Whether it's a choice or not, it's pretty interesting.
Asexuality

Am I cut out to spend my time this way?

re: Asexuality?

Posted: 3/25/06 at 1:53am

I think there was something on 20/20 about that tonight.

re: Asexuality?

Posted: 3/25/06 at 1:58am

Yes, there was but two of the people who ran the asexuality website and are about to get married were also on the verge of having sex so they quit the movement and moved their names from the group's website. Some of the others have never had sex so they don't really know if they will like it or not.

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re: Asexuality?

Posted: 3/25/06 at 11:15am

As unusual as it is, I think this is real. In my life, I have known one person whom I would have to categorize as asexual. He lived a full life, had many friends and interests, but never had a sexual relationship. I don't think it was a conscious choice, in the sense of saying "I'm never going to have sex with anyone." I honestly don't think he ever had an interest in that type of relationship.

"And the postman sighed as he scratched his head, you really rather thought she ought to be dead..."

re: Asexuality?

Posted: 3/25/06 at 11:32am

I knew an asexual. Really, he identified as gay, but he had no interest in sex. It was rough because I always had a crush on him, but he was "dating" an older, wealthy guy (no sex, just used his money -- don't ask me how that arrangement came about). With me, he'd be very sweet, even affectionate, so it was a really confusing situation.

His identical twin brother, on the other hand, was rather, er, ambisextrous. I think I told this story on the confessions thread. Whatever happened to that one?

re: Asexuality?

Posted: 3/25/06 at 11:46am

It's an fascinating story. I had never considered that someone could not be attracted to either males or female. However, I suppose it is possible. And I think there probably is a very small percent of the population who are simply unmoved by hormones

Calvin, that's interesting that you would define your one friend as asexual, while his identical twin brother is ambisextrous. I remember seeing on, I think it was either 20/20 or 60 minutes, a story about how w/ twin brothers, one was gay - he wishes he could have been born a girl - while the other was straight - typical boy, plays w/ action figures, etc. I think they were identical twins too. Yet their interests and preferences were very different. It makes me wonder what really determines sexual preference and personality.

re: Asexuality?

Posted: 3/25/06 at 12:08pm

This is Austria. She has an identical twin brother who is straight as far as I know. You would never know they were twins. Off topic, but interesting.

re: Asexuality?

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Updated On: 3/25/06 at 12:08 PM

re: Asexuality?

Posted: 3/25/06 at 12:11pm

I notice most of those people are relatively young, too. I don't think everybody reaches sexual maturity in their teens or even twenties. Sometimes it takes longer to really "get" what it's all about. Wait until somebody comes along and the chemistry just clobbers you between the eyes. It can happen in your thirties.

Salmon leap from the womb of the white sea you look on; they are calves, they are lambs of good color, in peace without slaughter.

re: Asexuality?

Posted: 3/25/06 at 12:46pm

I remember that story, Calvin! That was a great thread...

I find this topic incredibly interesting. Even though I don't really understand it. I find it very hard to imagine not being attracted to anyone at all.

"While some feel it is a film related question, I seem to think it may be a 'I am thinking of losing my winkie' sort of question."
-cheezedoodle

#10

re: Asexuality?

Posted: 3/25/06 at 12:48pm

I saw something about it on the news yesterday afternoon. There was a lady on there who was like 50. I can't imagine not wanting any sexual thing.

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#11

re: Asexuality?

Posted: 3/25/06 at 12:58pm

Yeah, I met a girl at college who I think MUST be asexual. The statistic is something insane like one out of every hundred people is asexual, which would mean there are like 14 of them on my campus.

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#12

re: Asexuality?

Posted: 3/25/06 at 12:59pm

As hard as it is to accept, the person I referred to earlier passed away many years ago. He was in his late 70's, so it can be life-long.

"And the postman sighed as he scratched his head, you really rather thought she ought to be dead..."

#13

re: Asexuality?

Posted: 3/25/06 at 1:27pm

I'm not declaring anything here but, I have absolutely no interest in sex. I like guys, and I may one day be interested in getting married. But, it's not a conscious choice, I've never said "I'm never going to have sex with anyone." It just so happens that I don't have the 'need' or 'feeling' for a sexual relationship.

I've always felt that way. Of course some guys are 'cute' but the thought of sex never even occurs to me.

Sometimes I'll joke about it because they are 'so cute' but I really have no interest.

"How bout a little black dress?"~hannahshule "I have a penis, not a vagina." ~munkustrap178

#14

re: Asexuality?

Posted: 3/25/06 at 1:38pm

SweetQ, as long as you're comfortable with yourself, as the old saying goes "it ain't nobody's bizzniss!" Human beings come in all forms and persuasions. Time will tell what's right for you.

"And the postman sighed as he scratched his head, you really rather thought she ought to be dead..."

#15

re: Asexuality?

Posted: 3/25/06 at 1:39pm

Just a thought, if these people have never had sex before, how do they know if they won't like it?

#16

re: Asexuality?

Posted: 3/25/06 at 1:41pm

Thanks grizza!

xM3L24x- what you don't know, you can't miss!

"How bout a little black dress?"~hannahshule "I have a penis, not a vagina." ~munkustrap178

#17

re: Asexuality?

Posted: 3/25/06 at 1:42pm

Yeah, but how can you live your whole life not being curious about it? I mean I guess each person is different, but I'm the kind of person who has to try everything at least once.

#18

re: Asexuality?

Posted: 3/25/06 at 1:43pm

Yeah, but how can you live your whole life not being curious about it?

Well, that's essentially the defintion of asexuality right there. True asexuals, for whatever reason, just do not have sexual urges.

Updated On: 3/25/06 at 01:43 PM

#19

re: Asexuality?

Posted: 3/25/06 at 1:53pm

That's exactly it, Siamese. For the truly asexual person, there is no urge, no interest or curiosity. Whatever the reason, it just isn't there. That is not a value judgement. It's just the way it is.

"And the postman sighed as he scratched his head, you really rather thought she ought to be dead..."

#20

re: Asexuality?

Posted: 3/25/06 at 1:54pm

I can't say I'm not curious about it. However, I guess my curiousity is not at a point that I feel the need or want to experiment.

This is going to sound really corny but, I guess you just have to be an 'asexual' to know that you don't want to have sex.

On the other hand, I'm not declaring that I'm an asexual. I'm in my low 20's and at this point in my life, I have no need for sexual satisfaction and no interest in it. However, that is not to say I can't change.

"How bout a little black dress?"~hannahshule "I have a penis, not a vagina." ~munkustrap178

Updated On: 3/25/06 at 01:54 PM

#21

re: Asexuality?

Posted: 3/25/06 at 1:59pm

I looked up 'asexual' in the dictionary and it gave a few definitions.

Some of them are untrue...(for me at least)
1 of the definitions is: "Having no evident sex or sex organs; sexless."

Since I do have those last time the doctor checked-
the definition that most fits (I think) is: " Lacking interest in or desire for sex."

"How bout a little black dress?"~hannahshule "I have a penis, not a vagina." ~munkustrap178

#22

re: Asexuality?

Posted: 3/25/06 at 2:03pm

The story about the twins was on sixty minutes a a couple of weeks ago. There was a brief discussion on it on the Board.

(I only know because I thought it was fascinating).
60 Minutes Thread

#23

re: Asexuality?

Posted: 3/25/06 at 2:33pm

i consitter myself both asexual and bisexual, beacuse i can look at a guy or a girl and think "oh that person is cute" but i have no interest what so ever in having a relationship with anyone or having sex. i love to hug and cuddle with people but i can't go beyond that.
i actually kind of felt alone in this, but at true colors i met a guy wearing a shirt that said "asexuality: not just for amoebas anymore!" and felt better about it.
for a longh time i was very confussed, depressed even, because i felt like i HAD to be in a relationship to be normal but didn't want to. i didn't understand why everyone at the prom was kissing eachother and how they could enjoy that, or why they would want to go and have sex with someone, i just didn't understand it. i still don't, but at least now i feel comfortable with myself knwoing that what i'm felling (or not feeling) is ok.

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Updated On: 3/25/06 at 02:33 PM

#24

re: Asexuality?

Posted: 3/25/06 at 2:39pm

If the testimonies in this thread don't demonstrate that it's a developmental issue, I don't know what does.

If people want to stay where they're at, as the kids say, and they're happy there, good for them.

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#25

re: Asexuality?

Posted: 3/25/06 at 2:46pm

This is an interesting topic. A friend from one of my classes is asexual, but talks about having a boyfriend. And, as much as I swoon, giggle, and joke about actors when posting here, I've wondered about myself - in real life, I have no interest in having sex or even a romantic relationship (I've been on one date and realized that it's not for me, at least at this point of my life). But then again, I'm only eighteen, so, as Grizzabella said, "Time will tell."

The subject also makes me think about the importance of sexuality in our culture; it seems odd to me that this is one of the criteria with which individuals define themselves. If you don't intend to have sex with a specific person, why should their preference matter? (I know, I know, human nature doesn't always follow logic.) Still...I don't really understand human obsession with sex.

This is a bit off-topic, and I'm sorry to keep rambling, but I found this interesting - I'm taking a Shakespeare class, and, of course, the topics that we discuss include love, relationships, eroticism. Concerning homoeroticism in Shakespeare's plays, my professor pointed out that, in Renaissance England, sexualities were not defined as they are today. Ideas of homosexuality and heterosexuality did not emerge until the Victorian era.

Updated On: 3/26/06 at 02:46 PM

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