Catholic Jokes!- Page 2

[TomMonster]

Posted: 12/2/06 at 7:37pm

You do realize, Elphaba, that she was quoting a song from AVENUE Q?

[Elphaba]

Posted: 12/2/06 at 7:43pm

yes, Tom, and I do realize all of the racist comments she has made under another screenname..........especially the rant about how she will not even speak to a hispanic neighbor because they speak Spanish.....

Updated On: 12/2/06 at 07:43 PM

Posted: 12/2/06 at 8:19pm

Your posse might not think it's dope To confess your sins, and like the Pope But this is who you are, it's not a choice. You say you're sleeping in When you're going out to mass. You cut school on Ash Wednesday So nobody will ask. Your rosary's hid in your sock drawer, You sneek into church through the back door-
Time to break out and break free And finally say, I am Catholic And I'm proud. Sing it strong, sing it loud. I won't deny who God meant me to be. Every night you kneel and pray. Stand up and be counted today!
Out of the cloisters, and into the streets!

[ILoveMyDictionary]

Posted: 12/2/06 at 8:59pm

I'm a Catholic too, and while I find the jokes about Priests molesting little boys to be unfunny, I realize that it is something I have to deal with. Everyone is allowed to have an opinion on a religion, and we must deal with it. The best thing you can do, is live your faith and not pay attention to the naysayers.

I'm a pretty liberal Catholic, I disagree with the church's view on homosexuality and stem cell research. I believe that it is not my job to condemn anyone, but to try my best to be a decent person, who gives everyone a chance. Wow, that got away from me. Point is: People are gonna make Catholic jokes, don't let it get to you.


Quoted for agreement.

[Raviolisun]

Posted: 12/2/06 at 11:48pm

It's "Everyone's a ritter bit lacist," guys. Get it right.

[DG]

Posted: 12/3/06 at 12:40am

The fact of the matter is, the Catholic Church's practices and procedures were responsible for much of the misery of my young life. And I was STEEPED in that world.

Truth be told, when I make jokes, it's an attempt to at least appear to make light of an institution that harmed me - greatly.

Do I think every Catholic is evil? No - in fact, some of my better friends and acquaintences identify as Catholic - even on this board.

BUT, to deny the harm that has been caused to many (and there's a lot, folks - we're talking two thousand years of history here) is to participate in the very dismissal that is at the core of the harm in the first place.

Is humor the best way to deal with the situation? Who knows - but it sure beats the alternative, which we see played out in the world on a daily basis.

Face it, there's a REASON that 'recovering Catholic' is such an acknowledged moniker.

[TheHumanTorch]

Posted: 12/3/06 at 1:06am

DG... i'm sorry to hear about your problems with the Catholic church... i was wondering, if this isn't too intrusive, if you're experiences were Pre Vatican II or Post Vatican II, because that would make a world of difference...

[DG]

Posted: 12/3/06 at 1:15am

Post VII - but I was involved in a pretty conservative parrish.

[TheatreDiva90016]

Posted: 12/3/06 at 3:13am

And I just finished reading how the church here in LA is settling with 45 accusers by doling out 60 million dollars....

If I don’t laugh, I’ll cry.

[TheHumanTorch]

Posted: 12/3/06 at 10:12am

DG- the reason why i ask, is because after Vatican II, no individual Catholic Church is required to follow every single doctrine the vatican puts out. so it is so unfortunate that you came from a conservative church, but ( i can't speak for most catholic churches, not even many) the catholic churches i know have embraced the fact that they can differ from the vatican, making them pretty liberal

[n2005]

Posted: 12/3/06 at 11:13am

I have no problem with catholic jokes. I mean how many jewish jokes are there?
I am catholic. I was born and raised in 100% catholic in rural ireland. Educated by nuns. I can say that I have no respect at all for my religion. Our country was ruled by the catholic church until about 20 years ago. They had the right to make laws and opose government legislation etc.
Meanwhile priests and nuns were abusing young children and young women were put in laundries just because they flirted with a boy. Its a complete disgrace.
Add to this their opposition to contraception, gays, pre-marital sex, women ,the catholic guilt etc and I can say that I am ashamed of the way the church has behaved and continues to .
I do however live a good life and I think that we have a better chance than a lot of priests, nuns of getting into heaven.

[EmieMarie]

Posted: 12/3/06 at 6:02pm

I am a catholic and have attended Catholic school for 6 years.
I actually now go to a very accepting church where Gays are accepted, so this proves that there are some good catholics!

and Catholic jokes are funny to an extent, but it bothers me when the jokes are about molesting... that is never funny

[TomMonster]

Posted: 12/3/06 at 6:04pm

Neither is molesting...

[Mr Roxy]

Posted: 12/3/06 at 7:10pm

Most priests are not molestors so to paint them all as such is a bit unfair

I think priests should be able to marry & women should be allowed to become priests

[TomMonster]

Posted: 12/3/06 at 7:23pm

Agreed, Mr. Roxy. But, the church banned marriage because the Vatican didn't want heirs to the cash...


...and unfortunately that is no joke.

Updated On: 12/3/06 at 07:23 PM

[MLE]

Posted: 12/3/06 at 7:31pm

Tom -
Very true. I'm surprised how few people actually know that.

[StageManager2]

Posted: 12/3/06 at 7:37pm

That's just an urban legend, MLE.

[TomMonster]

Posted: 12/3/06 at 7:39pm

I used to live in Rome and have many friends who live/work at the Vatican. It was shocking some of the things I learned that aren't let out to the general public...

[~FloweryFriend~]

Posted: 12/5/06 at 3:11am

I am a Catholic.
I graduated from a Catholic college.
At one point in time, I lived about a 20-minute walk away from St. Peter's in the Vatican city.

The biggest problem with Catholic jokes is the same as with any other type of religious/ethnic jokes: they are based on stereotypes and do not accurately reflect all people who fall under a given category.

That being said, I'm not going to put up a huge fight against them. I'm strong in my faith, and I don't feel threatened by jokes.

[SweMozArt]

Posted: 12/5/06 at 4:00am

How about ecumenical jokes? This was the first i stumbled upon while googling. I had to update the name of the president of Israel (It was Netanyahu).

The Pope met with his Cardinals to discuss a proposal from
Ehud Olmert, the leader of Israel (prime minister).

"Your Holiness", said one of his Cardinals, Mr. Olmert
wants to challenge you to a game of golf to show the
friendship and ecumenical spirit shared by the Jewish and
Catholic faiths."

The Pope thought this was a good idea, but he had never held
a golf club in his hand. "Don't we have a Cardinal
to represent me?" he asked.

"None that plays very well," a Cardinal replied. "But," he
added, "there is a man named Jack Nicklaus, an American
golfer who is a devout Catholic. We can offer to make him a
Cardinal, then ask him to play Mr. Olmert as your personal
representative. In addition,
to showing our spirit of cooperation, we'll also win the
match."

Everyone agreed it was a good idea. The call was made. Of
course, Nicklaus was honored and agreed to play. The day
after the match, Nicklaus reported to the Vatican to inform
the Pope of the result. "I have some good news and some bad
news, your Holiness," said the
golfer.

"Tell me the good news first, Cardinal
Nicklaus," said the Pope.

"Well, your Holiness, I don't like to brag, but even though
I've played some pretty terrific rounds of golf in my life,
this was the best I have ever played, by far. I must've been
inspired from above. My drives were long and true, my irons
were accurate and purposeful, and my putting was perfect.
With all due respect, my play was truly miraculous.

"There's bad news?", the Pope asked.

"Yes," Nicklaus sighed. "I lost to Rabbi Tiger Woods by
three strokes."

A catholic might argue that the joke would be more realistic if it was the other way around since catholics are more likely to recruit new followers to their religion.


Updated On: 12/5/06 at 04:00 AM

[vmlinnie]

Posted: 12/5/06 at 7:30am

I'm Catholic too, and I don't mind the jokes. In fact, when I read the thread title I remembered a really good one which I was going to post, until I realised what the thread was actually about!

[chicolini]

Posted: 12/5/06 at 10:55am

such a tease, vmlinnie, such a tease...

[doodlenyc]

Posted: 12/5/06 at 11:09am

I've been on this board for years, and never saw any Catholic jokes that werent predicated by a nasty post from a nasty poster like RTfan or by someone who is/was Catholic.

I was raised Catholic and did my time! I'll freakin' laugh if I want to.

[SonofMammaMiaSam]

Posted: 12/5/06 at 11:19am

Aren't most Catholic jokes told by Catholics to Catholics? I mean, I won't get a laugh from the Southern Baptists I grew up with because they can't understand the Catholic experience. Catholics laugh because we've all been there. Catholic school stories are what binds me to half the people I meet at cocktail parties here in the Northeast.

[doodlenyc]

Posted: 12/5/06 at 11:21am

Exactly, SoMMs...I want some links to this bashing that wasnt stated by a Catholic/ExCatholic (who would know what they are talking about) or a response to a bigoted post.

Anyone?