Fav Simpsons Quotes — Page 5

Homer: "I'm going to the backseat of my car with the woman I love, and I won't be back for TEN MINUTES!"

Apu: I have come to make amends, sir. At first, I blamed you for squealing, but then I realized, it was I who wronged you. So I have come to work off my debt. I am at your service.
Homer: You're...selling what, now?
Apu: I am selling only the concept of karmic realignment.
Homer: You can't sell that! Karma can only be portioned out by the cosmos. [slams the door]
Apu: He's got me there.

Homer: Here's to alcohol, the cause of—and solution to—all life's problems.

I LOVE The Simpsons!!

FBI Agent:"Now, when I stomp on your foot and say 'Hello Mr. Thompson, just nod. Can you do that?"
HOMER: "No problem."
FBI AGENT: "HELLO MR. THOMPSON!" (while stomping on Homer's foot)
HOMER: (whispering to other FBI agent) "I thinks he's talking to you".

In episode were Marge looses her hair.
LISA: "Mom's done so much for us....I'll stop buying Malibu Stacy clothes."
BART: "And I'll take up smoking and give that up!"
HOMER: "Good work son. Giving up smoking is the hardest thing you'll ever do. Here's a dollar."
LISA: "BUT HE DIDN'T DO ANYTHING!"
HOMER: "Didn't he Lisa? didn't he?"

MOE: "Ah well, it looks like it's suicide again for me."

MOE: "I'd be called 'ugly', 'fugly' and 'pug-ugly' but never 'ugly ugly'".

HOMER: (as Mr. Burns) "Exactly".

GROUNDSKEEPR WILLIE: "YA USED ME SKINNER! YA USED ME!"

In the episode where the Simpsons and Milhouse travel to Ned's beach house and are playing The Date Game
MARGE: (Laughing at Bart hysterically) "You got the dud!"
HOMER: "Hey he kinda looks like you pointdexter!" (referring to Milhouse). "Stand up for yourself Pointdexter!".

HOMER: "C'mon Pinchey, you don't have to take that from no punk ass crab!"

I could go on and on!!!!

Marge (opening a gift from Homer): "Perfume! Ooo, Meryl Streep's Versatility!"

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Agent:
Now, before I give you the cheque, one more question. This place "Moe's" you left just before the accident. This is a business of some kind?
Homer's Brain:
Don't tell him you were at a bar! **Gasp!** But what else is open at night?
Homer:
It's a pornography store. I was buying pornography.
Homer's Brain:
Heh heh heh. I would've never thought of that.


(Mr. Plow ep. Season 4)

Principal Skinner: Now I finally have time to do what I always wanted, write the great American novel. Mine is about a futuristic amusement park where dinosaurs are brought to life through advanced cloning techniques. I call it ‘Billy and the Clonosaurus.’
Apu: Oh you have got to be kidding sir. First you think of an idea that has already been done and then you give it a title that nobody could possibly like. Didn't you think this through... (time lapse) ...bestseller list for 18 months. Every magazine cover had it... (time lapse) ...most popular movies of all time sir. WHAT WERE YOU THINKING? I mean thank you, come again

Updated On: 2/11/06 at 04:56 AM

Homer gets a cell phone.


Homer: I dance, I dance, I dance, around the Mexican Hat,
I dance, I dance, I dance, and that's the end of that,
Or is it I still keep on singing,
My cell phone appears to be ringing.

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