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Fav Simpsons Quotes

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#1

Fav Simpsons Quotes

Posted: 3/10/05 at 9:57am

Moe (under a lie detector) -

Good, cause I got a hot date tonight *Wrong* A date. *Wrong*
Dinner with Freind. *Wrong* Dinner alone. *Wrong* Watching TV alone. *Wrong* All right!... I'm gonna sit at home and agile at the ladies in the Victoria Secret Catalog. *Wrong* ....Sears Catalog. *Right* Now would you unhook this already please! I don't deserve this kind of shabby treatment. *Wrong*

Updated On: 3/10/05 at 09:57 AM

#2

re: Fav Simpsons Quotes

Posted: 3/10/05 at 10:03am

Itchy and Scratchy land announcer:
"Welcome to Itchy and Scratchy land where nothing can possibl-eye go wrong...I mean possib-ly go wrong...thats the first thing thats gone wrong...."

#3

re: Fav Simpsons Quotes

Posted: 3/10/05 at 10:07am

Comic Shop Guy: Are you the creator of 'Hi and Lois' because you are making me LAUGH ...

#4

re: Fav Simpsons Quotes

Posted: 3/10/05 at 10:10am

Lionel Hutz -

" Well, he's kind of had it in for me ever since I accidentally ran over his dog. Actually, replace "accidentally" with "repeatedly," and replace "dog" with "son" "

#5

re: Fav Simpsons Quotes

Posted: 3/10/05 at 10:21am

Brilliant delivery in this Quote...

Homer: Marge? Since I'm not talking to Lisa, would you please ask her to pass me the syrup?
Marge: Dear, please pass your father the syrup, Lisa.
Lisa: Bart, tell Dad I will only pass the syrup if it won't be used on any meat product.
Bart: You dunkin' your sausages in that syrup homeboy?
Homer: Marge, tell Bart I just want to drink a nice glass of syrup like I do every morning.
Marge: Tell him yourself, you're ignoring Lisa, not Bart.
Homer: Bart, thank your mother for pointing that out.
Marge: Homer, you're not not-talking to me and secondly I heard what you said.
Homer: Lisa, tell your mother to get off my case.
Bart: Uhhh, dad, Lisa's the one you're not talking to.
Homer: Bart, go to your room.

#6

re: Fav Simpsons Quotes

Posted: 3/10/05 at 10:31am

Doh!

It is ridiculous to set a detective story in New York City. New York City is itself a detective story... AGATHA CHRISTIE, Life magazine, May 14, 1956

#7

re: Fav Simpsons Quotes

Posted: 3/10/05 at 10:36am

Homer - Lisa, would you like a donut?
Lisa - No thanks. Do you have any fruit?
Homer - This has purple in it. Purple is a fruit.

#8

re: Fav Simpsons Quotes

Posted: 3/10/05 at 10:49am

Lisa to Bart: 'You don't want to be known for just a catchphrase.'
At that second Homer drops something and goes 'D'oh', Bart replies 'Ay Caramba', Maggie is making her usual sucking noise, Mr Burns pops in his head and goes 'Excellent', Nelson points at Homer and goes 'HA HA'.
At that point everyone turns around to look at Lisa and she replies 'If anyone wants me I'll be up in my room'.

Best scene ever in my opinion (it obviously doesn't look as funny written down)... I remember how much it cracked me up.

QM

'He really wasn't good as Fieyro. Is it just me or does he sort of come across as a pimp? Just...the hand motions I've seen him do and the attitude..not that Taye is a pimp.' - SallyBrown on Taye Diggs as Fiyero

Updated On: 3/10/05 at 10:49 AM

#9

re: Fav Simpsons Quotes

Posted: 3/10/05 at 10:52am

Homer -

"Lisa, if the Bible has taught us nothing else, and it hasn't. It's that girls should stick to girls sports, such as hot oil wrestling, foxy boxing and such and such"

#10

re: Fav Simpsons Quotes

Posted: 3/10/05 at 11:00am

Homer: If The Flintstones has taught us anything, it's that pelicans can be used to mix cement.

#11

re: Fav Simpsons Quotes

Posted: 3/10/05 at 11:01am

QM, That is my favorite as well. My other favorite Lisa line is
"Mom your endowment is bigger than Harvard's!"

"All I ask of you is one thing: please don't be cynical. I hate cynicism -- it's my least favorite quality and it doesn't lead anywhere. Nobody in life gets exactly what they thought they were going to get. But if you work really hard and you're kind, amazing things will happen." Conan O'Brien

#12

re: Fav Simpsons Quotes

Posted: 3/10/05 at 11:04am

Mom, Lisa is unfortunately overlooked a lot. She's had some classics. Love her.

QM

'He really wasn't good as Fieyro. Is it just me or does he sort of come across as a pimp? Just...the hand motions I've seen him do and the attitude..not that Taye is a pimp.' - SallyBrown on Taye Diggs as Fiyero

#13

re: Fav Simpsons Quotes

Posted: 3/10/05 at 11:20am

re: Fav Simpsons Quotes

Agreed. Lisa has provided some quality subtle humour.

Lisa - This biography of Bart came out awfully quickly. It's not even about him!
Bart - Sure it is, Look at the cover.
Lisa - But inside it's mostly about Ross Perot, and the last two
chapters are excerpts from the Oliver North trial.
Homer: Ah, Oliver North. He was just poured into that uniform.

#14

re: Fav Simpsons Quotes

Posted: 3/10/05 at 11:20am

Simpson, Homer Simpson, he's the greatest guy in history, from the town of Springfield, he's about to hit a chestnut tree....d'oh!!!

Marge: Homer, there's a family of possums in here!
Homer: I call the big one Bitey.

Homer: You know me Marge...I like my beers cold and my homosexuals FLAMING!

Homer: Six simple words: I'm not gay, but I'll learn.

Homer: Lurleen, your song moved me in a way I've never been moved before, and which way to the can??

Barney: Is it okay to come out now, Mr. Gay Man? Sir?
Moe: I'll do anything you say! Anything!

Bob: Bart Simpson? Ha! The spirited little scamp who twice foiled my evil schemes and sent me to this dank, urine-soaked hellhole?
Officer: Uh, we object to the term "urine-soaked hellhole" when you could have said, "peepee-soaked heckhole".
Bob: Cheerfully withdrawn.
Lawyer: But what about that tattoo on your chest? Doesn't it say, "Die Bart, Die?"
Bob: No, that's German for "The Bart, The."
*laughs in the courtroom*
Officer: No one who speaks German could be an evil man.

Bart: I was wondering if you could sing the entire score of the "H.M.S. Pinafore".
Bob: Very well, Bart. I shall send you to heaven before I send you to hell.

#15

re: Fav Simpsons Quotes

Posted: 3/10/05 at 11:36am

(Lisa eat's Apu's dish)

Marge: Ooh, Lisa! Is that too spicy for you?
Lisa: I can see through time!
Homer: You can't be afraid to try new things. For instance, tonight I'm using a... Apu, what do you call this thing again?
Apu: A napkin.
Homer: Outrageous!

#16

re: Fav Simpsons Quotes

Posted: 3/10/05 at 11:38am

"I'm not usually a praying man, but if you're out there, please save me Superman!"- Homer.

#17

re: Fav Simpsons Quotes

Posted: 3/10/05 at 1:37pm

My favorite exchange...

Smithers: Sir, the preparations for your birthday are in order.
Burns: I won't get what I really want.
Smithers: No one does...

(a thought bubble emerges and we see Burns pop out of a large birthday cake, wearing a sash)

Burns (singing, a la Marilyn Monroe): Happy Birthday, Mr. Smithers...

ALSO

I love the episode when Bart thinks that everyone is trying to kill him.

Marge: Bart, I'm going to get you... some ice cream at the store.
Bart's teacher: Bart, you're going to be my murder victim... in the school play.
Flanders: Say your prayers, Simpson... because the schools can't force ya like they should!

#18

re: Fav Simpsons Quotes

Posted: 3/10/05 at 2:08pm

Homer to Artie Ziff (the nerdy rich guy who lusted for Marge in high school), after Homer has agreed to let them spend ther weekend together for a muillion dollars:

"No hanky-panky, no kanoodling, no misdirected woo - which would pretty much include any John Woo film!

Updated On: 3/10/05 at 02:08 PM

#19

re: Fav Simpsons Quotes

Posted: 3/10/05 at 2:37pm

Rod Flanders: Are you jealous of Brother Homer?
Ned Flanders: Maybe just a little bit.
Rod Flanders: I'm jealous of girls 'cause they get to wear dresses.
Ned Flanders: One problem at a time, boy.

Homer: I saw this in a movie about a bus that had to SPEED around a city, keeping its SPEED over fifty, and if its SPEED dropped, it would explode. I think it was called, "The Bus That Couldn't Slow Down."

Ralph Wiggum: Um, Miss Hoover? There's a dog in the vent.
Miss Hoover: Ralph, remember the time you said Snagglepuss was outside?
Ralph Wiggum: He was going to the bathroom.

Marge:"Don't mess with me! I've got Jimmies!"
(throws jimmies in the eyes of ice cream employee)
Employee:"All I see is a horrible rainbow!"

Edith 'Little Edie' Bouvier Beale: Do you think my costume looked all right for Brooks? I think he was a little amazed.

#20

re: Fav Simpsons Quotes

Posted: 3/10/05 at 2:55pm

"Maybe if he had better arch support, they wouldn't have caught him." - Homer referring to Jesus

Homer: "Alcohol, the source of and solution to all of life's problems..."

"... Still a little bit of your taste in my mouth. Still a little bit of you laced with my doubt. Still a little hard to say what's going on..." Damien Rice

Updated On: 3/10/05 at 02:55 PM

#21

re: Fav Simpsons Quotes

Posted: 3/10/05 at 4:03pm

BART: Time to repress another memory...I'm at Disneyworld! I'M AT DISNEYWORLD!

#22

re: Fav Simpsons Quotes

Posted: 3/10/05 at 5:23pm

Ralph is my favorite!!!

Me fail English? That's unpossible.

Hi, Super Nintendo Chalmers!

Mrs. Krabappel and Principal Skinner were in the closet making babies and I saw one of the babies and then the baby looked at me.

Eww, Daddy, this tastes like Gramma!

I bent my wookie.

The doctor said I wouldn't have so many nose bleeds if I kept my finger outta there

Ralph: "Daddy, I'm scared. Too scared to even wet my pants."
Chief Wiggum: "Just relax and it'll come, son."

I heard your dad went into a restaurant and ate everything in the restaurant and they had to close the restaurant

And, when the doctor said I didn't have worms any more, that was the happiest day of my life

I found a moonrock in my nose!

That's where I saw the Leprchaun. He tells me to burn things!

My avatar is a reminder to myself. I need lots of reminders...

#23

re: Fav Simpsons Quotes

Posted: 3/10/05 at 5:56pm

"It tastes like burning." ~ Ralph

I starred in a short film called Magnetic Personality. Check it out!

#24

re: Fav Simpsons Quotes

Posted: 3/10/05 at 6:13pm

"I'm the Queen...err, King of Summer!"
Tha twas Martin, not Ralph

A few of my favs:
Groundskeeper Willie: [shocked to learn that Bart and Lisa have become best friends] It won't last. Brothers and sisters are natural enemies. Like Englishmen and Scots! Or Welshmen and Scots! Or Japanese and Scots! Or Scots and other Scots! Damn Scots! They ruined Scotland!
Principal Skinner: You Scots sure are a contentious people.
Groundskeeper Willie: You just made an enemy for life!

Lisa (to Marge): I like him. He's smart, he's sensitive, he's clearly not obsessed with his physical appearance...
Homer (walks by): My ears are burning.
Lisa: Uh, I wasn't talking about you, Dad.
Homer: No, my ears are really burning. I wanted to see inside so I lit a Q-Tip.

God i love this show!

Sunchips: Best Kept Secret in the chip aisle!!

#25

re: Fav Simpsons Quotes

Posted: 3/10/05 at 6:32pm

Oh god, I love the Simpsons! Here's my faves:

Bart writes on blackboard: "I will not strut around like I own the place."

"Doh!"

Teacher: "Bart witnessed something beautiful today."
Nelson: "HA HA!" (I love that laugh)

Homer: "Christmas time is wonderful. Presents, family, and Mo, with his yearly suicidal attempt."

What a great show. I'm watching it now.

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