Favorite Will & Grace quotes?- Page 3

[Aigoo]

Posted: 12/28/05 at 10:44pm

Patti LuPone had a brief cameo, and she dropped a utensil or something (She, Jack, and Will were all at the same restaurant, and Jack and Will had a table right behind her.)

She asked if Jack could pick up her fork and Jack continued to ignore her for sometime until finally he just lashes out with something along the lines of, "Oh, shut your big, brassy, magnificent trap, Patti LuPone!".


I don't remember the episode very well, unfortunately.

[JLSatUD]

Posted: 12/28/05 at 10:51pm

there's something about needing Patti LuPone hair for a broadway diva wig too...mentions Idina and others ... argh I can't remember the exact wording!

[Dre2387]

Posted: 12/28/05 at 11:59pm

jsut saw this:

Rosie: I'm gay.
Jack: You're not!
Rosie: I'm gay.
Jack: Say something lesbionic!
Rosie: Home Depot.

so funny!

[YankeesFan175]

Posted: 12/29/05 at 12:01am

haha, i remember that one, Dre!

[Aigoo]

Posted: 12/29/05 at 12:03am

Just seen:

Jack: Karen, I haven't seen you this freaked out since you turned 42! (Forty) One! Thirty-four! 2! 1! Pretty girl, pretty girl!

(All said in rapid succession)

[Broadway_Baby]

Posted: 12/29/05 at 12:06am

WILL: Ooh, uh, before I forget, I need you to write me a check. There's this guy, Ted Bowers. He's running for city council. I really think we should support him.

GRACE: Well, what do we know about him?

WILL: He's gay.

GRACE: And?

WILL: And... he's gay.

GRACE: But what's he for? I mean, you know, where does he stand on the issues?

WILL: What do you care? You thought Buffy was in a prisoner of war camp.

GRACE: I'm just wondering, what are his positions?

WILL: I don't know. I think he's a top.

[zepka102]

Posted: 12/29/05 at 12:11am

from the show with Antiques on the Road when Grace and Jack make up the story about the teapot:

Grace: On Christmas Eve, Grandma Meg lost both of her legs to diabetes.

Porcelain Paul: Oh...

Jack: And then, on Christmas Day, she tragically lost both her feet.

Paul: So, how does the, um, teapot fit into all this?

Grace: Well, it's the only thing that survived the fire that Grandma caused when she... mistakenly answered the iron.

Jack: With her hook.

[Aigoo]

Posted: 12/29/05 at 12:16am

LOL. Zepka, I LOVED that episode!

[Broadway_Baby]

Posted: 12/29/05 at 12:21am

Here's the line:

JACK: Shut up, Patti LuPone! Shut your brassy, magnificent trap! I don't wanna hear you sing. I don't wanna cut your hair. And I certainly don't wanna hear you singing while I'm cutting your hair! Got it?! Now I'm talking to my best friend, so stand back, Buenos Aires!

[zepka102]

Posted: 12/29/05 at 12:26am

Karen: Where are my husband's pills? It's been 2 hours since I asked for them! Now, you give me Stan's pills at once! I want those pills! GIVE ME MY HUSBANDS PILLS!
Nurse: I'm sorry, Mrs. Walker. There you go. (Hands Karen the pills)
Karen: Thank you. (Karen takes them)


Karen: Give it to me straight, Doc. Am I looking at a future filled with loneliness and memories of better days? Or is Stan gonna die?


Grace: Hi, Karen. Look, I just wanted you to know that if-- Oh, my god! Oh, my god! What is that on the table? What is that? Is that a needle? Is that somebody's needle, just out there in the open?
Karen: It's a chopstick, you loon. It came with my lunch.


Karen: Grace... We've been working together for, what, 11 years?
Grace: 18 months.
Karen: It seems longer.


Karen: It's Stan. He needs blood for a bypass. And...he needs it drawn slowly by a large pointy needle.
Grace: Um... Um, I--I--I-- I doubt that--that I would even match. I've got-- I've got a very rare blood type.
Karen: I'm sure it'll be fine.
Grace: What type do they need?
Karen: What type do you have?
Grace: What type do they need?
Karen: What type do you have?
Grace: Um, AB-negative.
Karen: That's the type they need.


can you figure out my favorite episode :P?

[Lamc16]

Posted: 12/29/05 at 1:18am

Karen: Anastasia like Russian royalty. Beaverhausen like... where the beaver live.

Jack: He uses big words like "particular" and "delicatessen."

Will: Have you been gargling from a bong?

[MyNameInLights]

Posted: 12/29/05 at 1:31am

Not going to get it completely right, but this stuck with me forever!

Jack: Will, make me a sandwich.
Will: How about fat chance on rye?

AHHHH. I LOVE THIS SHOW.

[ReederWI]

Posted: 12/29/05 at 10:24am

At Bill & Larry's ceremony-
will: what do you think of the cake?
grace: are you kidding? it's got nine layers of chocolate and a snickers bar in the middle. i may move into it.

Will: Have you been gargling with bong water?

Dorlene to Jack about the Barney's window-
Dorlene: You better get this fixed in 24 hours Jack or I will go carnival freak on your ass, I swear. If this isn't fixed by tomorrow, not only will I fire you, but I will REHIRE you, pull your hair and fire you again!

Karen going off on Beverly Leslie again-
Karen: What's it to you, frosted flake? Shouldn't you be up in your tree, makin' cookies?

Karen (looking in the machines at a laundromat): Where are all the fish?
Grace: Karen, this is not an aquarium. It's where people come to do their laundry.
Karen: Oh, poor people are clever.

AND Karen and Roasarion on their shopping trip when Rosario can't decide what she wants to get..

Rosario: What if I said I didn't want any of these things?
Karen: I'd say you were crazy.
Rosario: What if I said that I wanted to spent time with you instead?
Karen: I'd say you were a lesbian
Rosario: What if I said that that's all I wanted for our aniversary?
Karen: I'd say you were a crazy lesbian.

[DBillyP]

Posted: 12/29/05 at 10:35am

This was posted in a different thread. It's much funnier with the whole set-up!
Patti on W&G

[hannahshule]

Posted: 12/29/05 at 11:50am

After Jack finishes yelling at Patti LuPone, she turns back to the waiter and says

"People either love me, or they hate me!"

Sooooooo funny!

[kate2]

Posted: 12/29/05 at 5:46pm

Karen- "Knock, knock! Is anyone homo?!"
Jack- "I AM! I AM!"

[roquat]

Posted: 12/29/05 at 6:02pm

Rosie O'Donnell (to Karen): If there were any justice in this world, there'd be an alligator somewhere carrying you as a handbag.

(to Jack): I'm his father! And his mother! And until he was eight years old, I was Santa Freakin' Claus!

Rosario (to Jack and Karen): You two are like Dumb and Drunker.

Karen (on prison): What's so great about the outside, anyway? Just a bunch of people with their dumb dreams and dumber kids.

[Wanderingchild5]

Posted: 12/29/05 at 6:16pm

Ha ha when karen says
"Grace, its christmas, for goodness sake!
think about baby jesus.
Up in that tower, letting his hair down so that the three wise men could climb it, spin the dreidel, and see if theres six more weeks of winter"

[jrb_actor]

Posted: 12/29/05 at 6:29pm

These will be paraphrased, so forgive me:

Karen (sitting on a bus stop bench with a bunch of maids): Oh, I was just here talking to all these Rosarios.

(Will checks out a guy's butt)
Jack: Will, you know America doesn't like to see you be sexual.

I love the Glenn Close episode. Fave line might be the one where she tells the model to take a lunch break--that there are cigarettes and water at the catering table.

And, I don't think anyone has mentioned the one about Jesus in the tower and 6 more weeks of winter...

[JLSatUD]

Posted: 12/29/05 at 6:30pm

When W&G are fighting in one episode, Jack and Karen want to get them together in the same room. They get an invite to a little kid's birthday party and then they say "Will likes to feel taller then those around him ... Grace likes cake ... Where can we take them to feel tall and eat cake?" while ignoring the party invite :)

[zepka102]

Posted: 12/29/05 at 6:46pm

that last one is a good one jrb... glad you remembered it!

[jrb_actor]

Posted: 12/29/05 at 6:49pm

My pleasure, buddy!

[Aigoo]

Posted: 12/29/05 at 8:54pm

Karen: Grace. It's Christmas, for goodness sake. Think about the baby Jesus: up in that tower, letting his hair down... so that the three wise men can climb up and spin the dreidel and see if there are six more weeks of winter.

Updated On: 12/29/05 at 08:54 PM

[kate2]

Posted: 12/29/05 at 9:12pm

Jack- "What's wrong with you? Your spirits are sagging lower than your breasteses."

[jrb_actor]

Posted: 12/29/05 at 9:19pm

Oh, thank you, Aigoo! I was so afraid we missed that quote!!