Favorite Will & Grace quotes?

[soapguy17]

Posted: 12/27/05 at 6:04pm

Jack: [to Vince] We know what's goin' on.
Grace: Yeah, we know your filthy secret.
Dennis: Vince, I want your ass in aisle five.
[Grace gasps]
Dennis: And bring the mop.
[Jack gasps]
Jack: Oh, my God. What kind of a place is this? And why do I shop anywhere else?


[Owen has just interrupted Jack's solo]
Jack: Uh, excuse me. As Aretha said to Gloria, Celine, Shania, and Mariah during Divas Live...
[in an Aretha voice]
Jack: "Are you trippin'? No one interrupts the Queen of Soul, bitch. OK?"
Owen: Well, I believe she also said, "Hey, Cuba, Canada, Cowgirl, Crazy, get out of my light and away from my snacks, bitch."

[greeneyed_one]

Posted: 12/27/05 at 6:47pm

I like the Christmas one where Will is waiting for Barry Manolow tickets and Grace keeps saying
"Better him then me,"
About Jack and her mom.

[Princess_Pook]

Posted: 12/27/05 at 6:50pm

Oooo..me too! Here is my favorite from that episode:

Karen: She's a fanalow. This here is Jack. He's a fagalow.

[YankeesFan175]

Posted: 12/27/05 at 7:20pm

HAHA, i love the fanilow one.

[Beergoggles]

Posted: 12/27/05 at 7:34pm

I saw one once and Karen turned round and said to Grace i beleive "I love you like the mother i had comitted against her will!". For some reason it stuck with me!!

[AbbaRabbit]

Posted: 12/27/05 at 8:32pm

jack, to the bird watcher: i bet you've seen a cockatoo

[Georgeanne]

Posted: 12/27/05 at 8:38pm

Obviously, "SHUT UP, PATTI LUPONE!" and its encompassing rant.

[roquat]

Posted: 12/27/05 at 9:38pm

I can't remember the exact dialogue, but the episode after Nathan(Woody Harrelson) breaks up with Grace and she takes to her bed...and Karen tries to help her get closure through roleplaying (she pretends to be Nathan). Something like this...

Grace: Have you ever had better sex in your life?
Karen: (as if realizing this herself) No, I never have.
Grace: I miss having sex with you, Nathan!
Karen: (looking at Grace) I miss having sex with you, too.
Grace: (throwing arms open) I love you, Nathan!
Karen: I love you too, Grace! (Throws herself in Grace's arms and kisses her passionately on the lips!)

[Dollypop]

Posted: 12/27/05 at 9:53pm

Karen: "Love ya like a cold sore!"

[jrb_actor]

Posted: 12/27/05 at 10:04pm

Jack: Jack who?
Will: Jack you!
Jack: Jack me?
Will: No thanks!!

Karen: It's funny....cuz it's true.

There are a million great lines on that show!

[renthead1223]

Posted: 12/27/05 at 10:15pm

Jack: Will, I told you. You live with a hetero long enough, you're going to catch it.

[Trying to start up an old car]
Grace: Will, what do you think is wrong?
Karen: Oh, my God. She just asked a Fairy an engine question. We're all gonna die in this car.
Will: Karen, you're not going to die. It would take a silver bullet and a wooden stake to do that.

Dr. Osher: Mrs. Walker? I have some news about your husband.
Karen: Give it to me straight, Doc. Am I looking at a future filled with loneliness and memories of better days, or is Stan gonna die?

Grace: I look all puffy and mannish. I'm like Puff the Magic Drag Queen.

Will: This is like the first Christmas, except we did get a room, none of us are virgins, and instead of the baby Jesus, we have a plate of cheeses.

Yeah, I could keep going...

[roquat]

Posted: 12/27/05 at 10:22pm

Oh, I almost forgot--

Joan Collins: Karen, is that you? I thought that hideous stench was coming from the kitchen.
Karen: No honey, I think ya just caught a whiff of your own liver rotting.

Later (as they pass in a doorway)
Karen: Medusa!
Joan Collins: Medea!

[Dre2387]

Posted: 12/27/05 at 10:27pm

renthead: please do. I love them. I can't remember any but I love reading them.

[Aigoo]

Posted: 12/27/05 at 10:40pm

Karen: OK, rule number one. Unless you're served in a frosted glass, never come within four feet of my lips.

Grace: If you're looking for your Aunt Karen, she's not here. She doesn't work on days that end with..."day."

Karen: Gosh, I don't think that I've ever been stressed out. Why would I be? I've got practically no responsibilities, my job's a breeze and I've got a KILLER rack. Good morning.

Karen: Where the hell have you been?
Rosario: Riding a llama in Neverland. Where do you think? I was cleaning.

Lyle Finster: Karen, I'm lost without you. I've tried to fill the void with secretaries and whores, but at the end of the hour, it's you I wish I was paying.
Grace: Really, I'm uncomfortable.
Karen: It's never gonna happen between us, Lyle. So beat it.
Lyle Finster: Very well. But I'll never forget you. Every mouth that I kiss will be your mouth. Every bottom that I slap will be your bottom. Every nipple that I tweak...
Grace: Please, one of us has to go!
Karen: Get out.
Lyle Finster: Very well. But know this: Every vagina...
Grace: GET OUT!

Jack: You're so generous. I swear, if you weren't Jewish, you'd definitely go to heaven.
Grace: Thanks, Jack. And if you weren't gay, you'd go there too.

I got most of them from IMDB...these quotes bring back GREAT memories.

Updated On: 12/27/05 at 10:40 PM

[boytobroadway]

Posted: 12/27/05 at 11:26pm

Karen (I will try to remember as well as I can)

"Jack, you fell out of the gay tree. And hit every gay branch ont eh way down. And then you fell on a gay man...and ya did him."

THAT one had me laughing forEVER!

Megan has wonderul comedic talent and timing...O YA...THIS IS THE BEST!!

Karen: Hey, Jackie, I brought you some soup.
Jack: But Karen, this is gin.
Karen: I put noodles in it.

HAHAHAHAH!!! THAT one has me going everytime I watch it!

[CostumeMistress]

Posted: 12/27/05 at 11:50pm

Something along the lines of "If God had intended for men and women to be together he would have given them both penises."

[TheatreDiva612]

Posted: 12/28/05 at 12:19am

Jack: Now you're speaking Jackanese!

Jack: I can't believe I'm 30. Do you know how much that is in gay years?

Karen: Oh kids ruin everything. I mean look at the stitching on this. You cannot trust a ten year old to do a good hidden button.

[TheatreDiva612]

Posted: 12/28/05 at 12:20am

this thread makes me ridiculously happy, by the way.

[Anakela]

Posted: 12/28/05 at 12:43am

I love the Christmas/ 80s flashback episode, and as they're leaving the bar...

Karen: Your boyfriend's a big, flaming, featherwearing, man kissing, disco dancing, Vermont living, Christina Aguilera loving, Mykonos going, honey- take it on home.
Jack: Tom's queer, dear.
Karen: Merry Christmas!

Oh, and the one where Grace is dating the guy with six toes, I love the way Megan does the finger gesturing/circus music humming thing that she does when talking about him- I can't put it into words, but if you've seen the ep you know what I mean. :) Megan is so fabulous!

eta: Karen: I know what guilt is. It's one of those touchy-feely words that people throw around that don't really mean anything... You know, like "maternal" or "addiction."

And pretty much the entire episode where Jack and Karen go to Doogie Howser's group for ex-gays.
Updated On: 12/28/05 at 12:43 AM

[Kitzarina]

Posted: 12/28/05 at 12:54am

Leo: "Why do you care that Diane's had Will's kabobs, but you don't care that she's had mine and I've had hers?"
Jack: "Silly! Diane is a girl, she doesn't have kabobs. She has a kagina!"
Karen: "And nice katits!"

[Aigoo]

Posted: 12/28/05 at 1:02am

LOL. This is my FAVORITE episode. It's the waterbra one...

[YankeesFan175]

Posted: 12/28/05 at 1:32am

i loved when ellen degeneres played a nun. the whole "my family sent me to a convent when i was 3" speech.

and this is hard to explain, but anyone whos seen the episode knos what i mean. its the epsiode when they scatter stans ashes at sea. jack and will are in the inside lounge area and theyre singing along to crocidile rock. then lorraine and karen get into an arguement right outside, but you cant hear them. all you hear is jack and will singing along and you see them fighting. then lorraine pushes karen into the water and walks away. the camera stays that way (jack and will are singing all the while) and then 2 seconds later, rosario runs into the frame shouting "MISS KAAAREN!!!" and she dives into the water after her.

its hard to explain but its so funny if you see it.

[CATSNYrevival]

Posted: 12/28/05 at 2:10am

the one where the doctor told Karen that Stan had an acute angina (sp?) and she accused him of hitting on her...

[touchmeinthemorning]

Posted: 12/28/05 at 9:30am

I love to rewind the fights between Karen and Rosario to hear what each one of them is saying. They're brilliantly-timed.

My favorite out-take is when Sean can't remember a line, and he starts to say it, but gets stuck and it begins to sound a little like grunting. Megan (without losing a beat) says, "Are you pooping?"

[Garland Grrrl]

Posted: 12/28/05 at 9:39am

"Is the gay men's chorus really any gayer than the straight men's chorus?"