Favorite Will & Grace quotes?- Page 2

[mominator]

Posted: 12/28/05 at 10:33am

Some more Karen lines
"Honey your gayness can be seen from space!"
"I don't produce theater, I AM theater!"

[DBillyP]

Posted: 12/28/05 at 10:35am

Karen to Jack (of course):

"Honey, you're simple, you're shallow, and you're a common whore, that's why were soulmates!"

[JACXR71]

Posted: 12/28/05 at 10:40am

Jack: Grace, did you know I was gay when you first met me?
Grace: My dog knew.

Jack (seeing Karen's closet): Wow, if this was my closet, I never would have come out!

[Pippin]

Posted: 12/28/05 at 11:02am

"these men are turning their back on homosexuality! and not in a good way!"

and, when Jack and Karen find Grace's Day planner on the mantle after Grace left....

Jack: "Hey look, Grace left her day planner".
Karen: "yeah".
Jack: "Let's look in it".
Karen: "and change things".

[Chenofan #1]

Posted: 12/28/05 at 11:43am

I love this show more than anyhting. I love every episode.


I love the Senor Mattress one,though.



Jack: Honey, are you sleeping?
Wife: Of course I'm not. I haven't slept in weeks.
Jack: Well, do you wanna...
Wife: No! I'm tire and I'm irritable.
Jack: You're always tired and irritable. 'm a man, I have needs.
Wife: I don't care. Until we get a new mattress, you aren't laying a hand on me.
Jack: Hmmm... Isn't there anyone out there who can help me?
Announcer: Come down to Senor Mattress. I'll take care of all your needs.
Jack and Wife: *"Passionate" kiss*
Jack: Mucho Gracias, Senor Mattress. Gracias for everything.
*Baby flies into Jack's arms from off-stage*

[roquat]

Posted: 12/28/05 at 11:50am

Karen: Oh, my God, I'm a funny lesbian! I'm Ellen! (punches the air).

[GClef2]

Posted: 12/28/05 at 11:55am

(KAREN TO GRACE AFTER HEARING THAT SHE OWNS A DILDO):

ha ha haha ha ha............It's funny 'cause it's sad.

(KAREN TO GRACE)

K: Grace Alden....

G: Adler, My name is Grace Adler.

K: Oooooooooo that's pretty.

(KAREN COMING DOWN THE STAIRS WHILE HER CLEANING STAFF IS IN THE ROOM)

K: I CAN SEE YOU!

[Princeton78]

Posted: 12/28/05 at 11:57am

Karen: Ok honey, I'm fabulous. Yeah. I've got buckets of money, i'm a fabulous dresser, i'm a hoot and a half and I've got a killer rack. Honey, you're not me and you never will be.

Grace's Intern: Is it the rack?

Karen: It's a big part of it.

[Chenofan #1]

Posted: 12/28/05 at 11:58am

Lets just say that everything that Magan Mullally says is funny. She just plain rocks.

[zepka102]

Posted: 12/28/05 at 12:03pm

too many to list, but from the water bra episode after the cups have holes in them and Will is holding them so they don't squirt out everywhere:


"i haven't been with a woman in a while, but i don't think they're supposed to do that."

[vbplayer]

Posted: 12/28/05 at 12:09pm

Will: (to Grace) "What did you want on your waffle?"

Grace: "Pancakes"

[YankeesFan175]

Posted: 12/28/05 at 12:46pm

Lorraine to Jack inside Karen's closet:

"what are you doing in a closet? you look like the type of man who should be coming out of one."

[WiCkEDrOcKS]

Posted: 12/28/05 at 12:49pm

Grace : Hmmm. Well, you've come on a good night. Jack's mother is going to be joining us, and she doesn't know Jack's gay.
Karen : How could she not know? What is she, headless?

Karen : Good Lord. I can't believe I'm at a public pool. Why doesn't somebody just pee directly on me?

Cheryl : Hello, Mrs. Walker? Cheryl Bricker-Fossberg, Taylor and Hayden's mom.
Karen : I have no idea what you just said.

[while watching basketball on TV]
Grace : Have you seen Matt yet?
Will : Yeah, he's right there, right on the sidelines. Just four clicks left of Spike Lee. Just right beside that little girl and her grandpa.
Jack : Uh, that's Catherine Zeta-Jones and Michael Douglas.

Karen : Where the hell have you been?
Rosario : Riding a llama in Neverland. Where do you think? I was cleaning.

Karen : Oh Lord!! Is that a new Members Only jacket you're wearing?!
Rosario : So what if it is? A lady likes nice things.

Karen : Oh honey, I would, but... I don't want to.

Karen : Oh, yeah... I remember you. Stan and I met you at the Whitney opening. You were the bartender. Yeah.
Ben Doucette : No, you just gave me your drink order.
Karen : Yeah... and I'm still waiting for it.

Karen : It's the oldest story in the book. Boy meets girl. Boy wants girl to do dominatrix film. Girls says, "Naked?" Boy says, "Yeah." Girl says, "No way." Boy says, "Okay how about you just wear this rubber dress and beat this old guy with a scrub brush?" Girl says, "How hard?"
Grace : Um, Yes. That is the oldest story…

Karen : Hey, hey, hey. Come on. I know what ‘guilt’ is. It's one of those touchy-feely words that people throw around that don't really mean anything... You know, like "maternal" or "addiction."

[Karen is showing her breasts to a woman]
Grace : Karen, what are you doing?
Karen : She started it.
Grace : Karen, she's breast feeding.
Karen : Oh... That would explain the little bald man.

Grace : [to the new house keeper when she shouts at her] At least Mary Poppins did it with a song and a dance - you're like a spoonful of whoopass."

[after seeing Karen's mother]
Rosario : Santa Maria, it has a mother.

Karen : Oh, Ive said it once and Ill say it again. Fags are a hoot.

Karen : Where the hell are my slippers?
Rosario : Have you looked up your ass, you drunken fool?

Will : Jack, I'm asking you to be my kid's godfather. Or rather, his fairy godfather.

[After Jack tells Karen he was made fun of in school:]
Karen : Poor Jack. How could anyone tease a boy with such lovely eyes. Sweet smile.
HAH. JACK MC FAIRYLAND. Fairy land fairy land Give me your lunch money fairyland or I'll kick your ass. Hahahahahah!
[Karen stops; heads over to her chair and sits down]
Karen : Oh, kids can be so cruel...

[after Jack gives him some advice]
Will : Thank you, Homo-wan Kenobi.

KAREN: Grace. It's Christmas, for goodness sake. Think about the baby Jesus: up in that tower, letting his hair down... so that the three wise men can climb up and spin the draydle and see if there are six more weeks of winter.

Grace: Don’t play the “whose husband is worse game” with Karen. She’s still collecting money from Linda Hussein.

Karen Walker : She's gone to Mexico for face-lifts so many times, I'll bet if you whacked her head with a stick, prizes would fall out.

Jack : “Just Jack!”

Karen: Maybe I'll get Rosario cat eyes for Christmas. Then maybe she won't look so weird when she's scratching at the door to come in.

(Will and Grace have planned to have a baby together and each tell Karen and Jack in secret)
Karen: How about a toast...
Karen and Jack: To Will and Grace's baby.
Will: I can't believe you told her.
Grace: I can't believe you told him.
Will: He doesn't count, he never listens.
Grace: She doesn't count, she's always buzzed.
Karen: Hey, hey, hey. Hey, c'mon now... where are we?
Jack: ...I'm sorry, what?







Yeah sorry about how long that was.

[YankeesFan175]

Posted: 12/28/05 at 12:55pm

jack: "will, i figured out how to make JACK 2001 better than JACK 2000!"

will: "you're gonna get an audience?"

[DBillyP]

Posted: 12/28/05 at 1:12pm

Jack McFarland: I'm going to be a massage therapist. It was an obvious choice, being that I'm a people person.

[Will and Grace give looks of disbelief.]

Jack: What? I love people, as long as they're not hairy, or smelly, or have the dreaded "backne". [makes vomiting sound] Okay, I need some guinea pigs. Who's interested?

Will: [raises hand] Smelly.

Grace: [raises hand] Hairy. [both depart]

Jack: Thank you, friends. [walks over to Karen's desk and looks at her]

Karen: [hesitantly] Backne. Oh, who am I kidding? It's alabaster from my neck to my ass! I just don't want to do it!

[WiCkEDrOcKS]

Posted: 12/28/05 at 1:35pm

Jack is helping Vince's sister announce to her family that she is a lesbian.
JACK: Alright, everyone! Rosie has an announcement to make. And I don't wanna give anything away but...lez all be quiet.
Updated On: 12/28/05 at 01:35 PM

[pattifan2]

Posted: 12/28/05 at 2:37pm

'Karen Walker! I thought I smelled gin and regret.'

[cheezedoodle]

Posted: 12/28/05 at 4:37pm

Karen: "Listen, honey, I gotta get going. I gotta go to my Christian Book Club meeting. Today we're burning Catcher in the Rye.

Will: "You're not shy around men. You'd hit on the Pope if he drove a better car."

Jack: "So you're a bird watcher. I bet you've seen a cockatoo."

Grace: "Hey Jack World, how about you move your Jack Feet before I kick your Jack Ass."

Rosario: "And I thought shooting those pornos for Tommy Lee was a tough gig."

Harlan Polk: "You know, Grace, I don't presume to understand the very modern relationship you two got going, but in the great state of Texas, you'd be considered a bitch."

Posted: 12/28/05 at 4:43pm

I haven't read this thread, so I hope I'm not repeating:

Grace: I know what you did last summer.. An Affair to Remember...with The Client.

and:

Karen: You drink your OJ straight! What kind of person are you?

[kikki327]

Posted: 12/28/05 at 4:56pm

Grace: Hmmm. Well, you've come on a good night. Jack's mother is going to be joining us, and she doesn't know Jack's gay.
Karen: How could she not know? What is she, headless?

Jack: [mimicing phone call] Hello, Day Old News? I'd like to cancel Will's Subscription. From now on he'll be reading Yesterday's Business.

[Elliot walks out of a dressing room]
Jack: Haley Joel Osmet you look fantastic!

[Karen answers Jack's phone; it's Elliot and he wants to talk to Jack]
Jack: No, no, he's gonna - he's gonna try to get me to another one of his basketball games. It's just not my thing. Make up an excuse.
Karen: All right.
[into the phone]
Karen: Um, Elliot... Yeah, I've got some bad news. Jack and I were figure-skating and he plunged through the ice. Haven't heard from him since. Could I take a message? Okay. You're trying out for the cheerleading squad?
Jack: [runs over and grabs the phone] Brr, I'm back!

[Will is wearing an Abercrombie like shirt]
Karen: Oh, Will, there was someone in the elevator asking for you. Oh, yes, it was your youth it wants its shirt back.

Karen: Grace. It's Christmas, for goodness sake. Think about the baby Jesus: up in that tower, letting his hair down... so that the three wise men can climb up and spin the dradel and see if there are six more weeks of winter.

Nathan: I want to go to that Barney's sale with you.
Will & Grace: ooohhhhh
Will: Have you seen Grace near marked down cashmere? Its like the first 10 minutes of Saving Private Ryan.

[women at Barneys are trying to buy Will's new jeans]
Will: Look everything about these jeans indicates that they are mens pants! The way they ride low on the hip.....the thoughtful flare....the nice pocket for a.....tube of lipstick......do I hear $250?

[Rosario is shoe shopping with Karen]
Karen: what about these?
Rosario: I dont know...there a little too Sex and the City

this one is my favorite will & grace moment ever...
Grace: Is this classy buisinesswoman having coctails at the mercer hotel, or is it a PTA mom trying to cover up an affair with head of the school board?
Nathan: um...the whore and the hotel one....
Grace: No THIS is the whore in the hotel! I mean, I've actually seen whores in hotels wearing this! And if thats the case then why do I want this? Tell me why I want this?!?!
Nathan: Grace I cant take this anymore. Go find Will, finish eachother's sentances...I've gotta get to a sports bar.
[Will walks by Grace]
Will: Not interrupting not interrupting....wheres Nathan?
Grace: He cracked under the pressure.
Will: Poor guy...expecting him to help you shop for designer clothes when the only labels he owns say Nathan in red marker.
Grace: Will, what do you think of this dress?
Will: Well....its nice, Mrs. Fledgman, if your going to continue hiding that affair with the head of the school district.
Grace: I'm so glad your back!

[TheatreDiva612]

Posted: 12/28/05 at 4:58pm

This is the best thread ever!

[lamentingenvelope]

Posted: 12/28/05 at 7:42pm

Seriously, it is! I can never remember any quotes (except for "Shut up, Patti LuPone!") but I love reading them and going "Oh yeah, I remember that!"

Will & Grace is a great show.

[roquat]

Posted: 12/28/05 at 8:01pm

I missed it. What was the "Shut up, Patti LuPone" one?

[RachLaura]

Posted: 12/28/05 at 8:54pm

Jack: 'So I've decided to take my career in a whole new direction.'
Will: 'Forward?'


Will: 'Oh you girls are going to have a ball! Braiding each others hair and talking about boys and doing the Cosmo quiz.'
Jack: 'You mean like how to tell if your best friend's a bitch? Yeah I already took it, you are.


[Karen stumbles down from the rock floor in Grace's design exhibit.]
Karen: You know what those rocks need? A little Scotch.


Karen: Hey. Where's the slow talker?
Grace: I fired him, okay? He totally took advantage of me. You were right. People always let you down.
Karen: [sympathetic look and face] Oh, Grace.
Grace: What?
Karen: Nothing. It just felt like it needed an "Oh, Grace."
Grace: I'll tell you what; this is never going to happen to me again. From now on, I trust no one.
Karen: [sympathy tone] Oh, honey!
Grace: What?
Karen: Here we are again! [laughs]
Grace: [throws book down on table] People suck.
Karen: Oh, come on! Don't do that! This is a bad color on you. And your attitude is poor, too. You're the one who loves people. You're the pretty little gal from Ioway with the heart as big as all get-out.
Grace: Karen, I'm from upstate New York.
Karen: Whatever. I got a facial in an hour. Listen, bottom line: It's a good thing that you believe in people. I mean, maybe Lenny let you down, but hey, you took a chance on me, and have I ever let you down?
Grace: Oh, Karen.
Karen: What?
Grace: Just felt like it needed an "Oh, Karen."


and i LOVE the one where jack is at a restaurant and sees cher and insists that it isn't her...he does the funniest impression

[Broadway_Baby]

Posted: 12/28/05 at 10:00pm

This is my kind of thread!