Friday the 13th & All the other horror remakes

[Jordan Catalano]

Posted: 2/15/09 at 5:55pm

Has anyone else gone to see the new one yet? If not, DON'T.

These horror remakes have been very hit or miss (mostly miss) and I didn't think it would be possible for a movie to be worse than Rob Zombie's HALLOWEEN catastrophe (which for some reason we're getting a sequel to this year). This "remake" takes elements of the first few movies in the series (which honestly aren't that great to begin with) and tries to make an interesting "story" out of them that doesn't work, is void of any suspense and uses every single imaginable horror cliche in the book to let you know when and where "scares" are going to come from, making this really just a boring piece of sh*t. Honestly, name one horror cliche that isn't used in this movie...

God help us horror fans with this new NIGHTMARE ON ELM STREET remake coming the end of the year without Robert Englund having any participation in it. I can understand redoing HALLOWEEN, TEXAS CHAINSAW (which to me, the remake was an excellent film and the best of these so far), even this new FRIDAY but Freddy Kreuger is an actual character that's been developed for years. I don't know how audiences are going to react to someone else playing the part. I'm sure there will be some interesting effects and the dream sequences will be taken to new levels artistically, but if I had my way I'd leave that one series alone and maybe just continue on with it in the same style of WES CRAVEN'S NEW NIGHTMARE. It's the one horror franchise that has pretty much continuously had a semi decent story line and characters.

We're even getting remakes of movies where the original series is still going strong. Next year, we'll be treated to a remake of the original CHILD'S PLAY. WHY?! The first one was decent, 2nd and 3rd sucked and than they were already re-imagined as these fantastic "gay" comedies with Jennifer Tilly. I've been waiting for another movie with Tiffany & Chucky but instead we get the same movie we've already seen and there's not a whole hell of a lot you can do differently with that first one. Boy gets doll. Doll comes to life. Doll kills. Been there. Done that. Is the genre really that dried up that we can't have a new original Freddy or Jason?

Sorry to rant, but that movie today just pissed me off. lol

[pushdabutton]

Posted: 2/15/09 at 6:10pm

I agree Jordan. I saw Friday the 13th yesterday and it was terrible. What a waste of time. I saw the trailer before Friday the 13th for a remake of The Last House On The Left. I'm sure it will also be a huge disappointment.

[Jordan Catalano]

Posted: 2/15/09 at 6:15pm

I hope that one is semi-decent. The original is a fantastic film so I'm keeping my fingers crossed. I am excited though about A CONNECTICUT HAUNTING with Virginia Madsen that's coming soon. The trailer looks fantastic and I'm always up for a new haunted house movie.

[eatlasagna]

Posted: 2/15/09 at 8:31pm

i liked this movie... it's a horror movie... do you really go to a horror movie for the "story"... no... you go for the gratuitous nudity and violence... and for that i liked this movie... i also like the fact that they actually made Jason an athletic guy.. and by that i mean someone who actually RUNS around and threatens them instead of just appearing out of nowhere when the victims run obviously waaaay ahead of him... but whatever... to each their own...

and yes i know there are horror movies out there with a story... doesn't mean much to me because like i said... i usually don't care about them

[JohnPopa]

Posted: 2/15/09 at 9:31pm

Oh, it wasn't any better or worse than Friday Parts II or III.

In the end, I just don't think it's really possible to make a particularly good Friday the 13th movie. Let's be honest, it's not like any of the original series were particularly well done either.

I am worried about the Nightmare remake, though. I hear you on that.

[eatlasagna]

Posted: 2/15/09 at 9:57pm

i'm actually worried about the nightmare one... because i loved the original and found it REALLY scary... this is one of those horror movies where the story was very well done and it creeped me out and made me NOT want to dream when i was a kid... haha...

actually... i'm more inclined with horror movie remakes for some reason... the one remake i'm VERY upset about right now is The Karate Kid... which to me is just this classic movie from my youth... there is NOTHING to update... no special effects no nothing... the cast was perfect!

[TimeSquare3]

Posted: 2/15/09 at 10:05pm

The new face of Freddy Kruger.

Jackie Earle Haley

He will be seen in this March's "Watchmen" as Rorschach


http://www.rottentomatoes.com/m/nightmare_on_elm_street_collection/news/1797083/weekly_ketchup_nightmare_reboot_gets_director_possible_star

Updated On: 2/15/09 at 10:05 PM

[Jordan Catalano]

Posted: 2/15/09 at 10:08pm

I heard that about Haley, as well although it isn't confirmed yet.

Oh, well. Maybe the silver lining will be when the new one hits the theaters we'll get an ultra deluxe blu-ray set of the original series.

[pushdabutton]

Posted: 2/15/09 at 10:13pm

I agree that most of the Friday the 13th sequels were ridiculous but I did think the original first Friday the 13th was well done and scared me when I saw it in the theaters back in 1980.

[uncageg]

Posted: 2/15/09 at 11:00pm

I loved the original Friday the 13th. It still scares me! And the original Halloween still gets me also!

[pushdabutton]

Posted: 2/15/09 at 11:24pm

I agree about the original Halloween! They just don't make horror movies the way they used to.

[Jordan Catalano]

Posted: 2/15/09 at 11:27pm

Personally, I think the original HALLOWEEN is the best horror film ever made. It set the bar for every suspense/horror film that's come after it even to this day.

[broadway86]

Posted: 2/16/09 at 1:33pm

I'm praying that Jackie Earle Haley gets the part, he'll probably do something awesome with it. Otherwise, I am diametrically opposed to the idea of an "Elm Street" remake.

I didn't care for the "F13" remake, but it's no better or worse than most of the films in said franchise. Still, none of them have topped the original.

I am very split on the horror remakes. Some have ranged from enjoyable to downright splendid, others range from take-it-or-leave-it to bottom-of-the-barrel.

Here's how I see it...

Successful
The Ring
The Grudge
The Thing
The Fly
Dawn of the Dead
My Bloody Valentine
House of Wax
The Texas Chainsaw Massacre
Funny Games
Quarantine
Night of the Living Dead
Dark Water
King Kong

Unsuccessful
Halloween
The Hills Have Eyes
Friday the 13th
April Fool's Day
The Fog
When a Stranger Calls
Pulse
The Wicker Man
One Missed Call
The Amityville Horror
Black Christmas
The Eye
Updated On: 2/16/09 at 01:33 PM

[clever name]

Posted: 2/16/09 at 1:50pm

The Hills Have Eyes scared the **** out of me.

I also like The Amityville Horror remake.
And NOT just for the scenes with Ryan Reynolds shirtless...although that helps..

[amalou]

Posted: 2/16/09 at 2:05pm

The only good thing about Friday the 13th was the Watchmen trailer.

[SNAFU]

Posted: 2/16/09 at 2:15pm

Just saw The Abandoned on cable last week. A great haunted house film! Creeped me out big time and I am sort of jaded when it comes to horror flicks.

[TimeSquare3]

Posted: 2/16/09 at 2:19pm

There is a "Friday the 13th" Documentary out now. It's online if you know where to look, or PM for the link.

[BroadwayBoy2]

Posted: 2/16/09 at 4:46pm

I knew going into "Friday the 13th" that it was gonna suck. I wanted to see it for the sole reason; "I got to see Friday the 13th on Friday the 13th."

I think the best horror film I have seen in a long time has to be "Quarintine" that scared the ABSOLUTE SH!T out of me. So intense, just great. Althought I am not a movie buff, the thing i have noticed to make a good horror movie is "simplicity." I don't think you get any simpler than "The Blair Witch Project." I knew the ending before going to see it, and I still screamed at the ending.
Funny story on Blair Witch...
I was 9 when it came out, so i was too young to see it in theatres. My mom took me to see a movie one day and blair witch was playing in the theatre next to the theatre we were going into . As we were walking into our theatre a group of ADULTS RAN out of the Blair Witch theatre screaming crying and shouting "Dont see this movie its F*cked Up!"

[Borstalboy]

Posted: 2/16/09 at 5:49pm

Horror films will continue to be remade as long as tools who should know better pony up the cash to see them.

[FindingNamo]

Posted: 2/16/09 at 6:48pm

"I've been waiting for another movie with Tiffany & Chucky ..."

Life is too short. Really.

[JohnPopa]

Posted: 2/16/09 at 6:49pm

They remade April Fool's Day?

[Jordan Catalano]

Posted: 2/16/09 at 10:20pm

I was just going to ask the same thing, JohnPopa! I think the original is pretty good on it's own. Maybe next we could remake I SPIT ON YOUR GRAVE. Or how about CHOPPING MALL? SLEEPAWAY CAMP 3? Maybe we can get Vanessa Redgrave to star in a remake of MOTHER'S DAY, while we're at it. So many possibilities since nobody's putting any time into something original.

And yeah, FindingNamo - I think those Chucky/Tiffany movies are hilariously campy. If you get a chance to watch them with the director and cast commentary it gives you a great insight into what their goal in making them was and I think they really succeeded with it. Just my opinion, of course.

[Mr Roxy]

Posted: 2/16/09 at 10:31pm

The original was quite good . I saw the 3 D version because of the 3 D. The rest of the films & the remake are all excuses for spilling blood & guts. To me, that is not entertainment.
To go to a film just to see imaginative ways to see people sliced & diced is a bit odd to me. Why see it.

Many movies are much better when they leave what happens to the imagination. These & others like them show no imagination unless finding different ways to disembowel & behead people imaginative.

[bschneid76]

Posted: 2/17/09 at 7:56am

Mother's Day is one of the worst horror films I've ever seen. Contrary to the VHS cover (which scared the crap out of me when I was a child). But I would possible spend money to see Vanessa Redgrave play Mommy, haha.

I love Chopping Mall! Horror films from the 70s and 80s are terrific.

But the best Friday the 13th is still the original. Any of the new "remakes" are not worth the time. The original will still be the best, i.e. Dawn of the Dead, Texas Chainsaw Massacre and Halloween.

[broadway86]

Posted: 2/17/09 at 1:23pm

The Hills Have Eyes scared the **** out of me.

The remake? I thought the acting was surprisingly solid, but I felt it lost steam after the first 30 minutes.

I also like The Amityville Horror remake.

One of my least favorites. Reynolds was quite good, but I hate hate HATE it when the ghosts in these movies are so... present. I like a little mystery and subtlety in my supernatural, ya know what I mean? (case in point: Session 9)

The original will still be the best, i.e. Dawn of the Dead

I'm gonna throw this out there: Aside from the lack of subtext, I think the remake is an improvement on Romero's original. Just saying...

They remade April Fool's Day?

They did, and it was horrendous. It starred Scout Taylor-Compton (the 'Laurie' in Rob Zombie's butchering of Halloween). Updated On: 2/17/09 at 01:23 PM