*GOLDEN GIRLS* Favorite Line Thread- Page 2

[suddenlyseymour]

Posted: 2/1/06 at 6:16pm

Arg I can't remember the exact words but I love the ep when someone breaks into their house and Rose buys a gun. Blanche and her date come in late at night, so Rose thinks it's the robbers again so she fires. Then sophia comes out and says something like "...one night I'll belch and stable mable will blow my head off!" And I also love when Blanche explains how she maced herself at the police station lol

[BroomstickBoy]

Posted: 2/1/06 at 9:15pm

Blanche :
Well I went down to the police station to get an update on my case, I borrowed your hairspray from your dresser drawer....you know what this humidity does to my hair.......
Rose : I know, COTTON CANDY *makes a scrunchy face*
Blanche : Well when I got to the police station I noticed this cute officer had his eye on me, so I pulled out your hairspray to give my hair a final spritz, only......surpris...it wasn't hairspray. It was mace. *pause* YOU HAD MACE, YOR HAIRSPRAY WAS MACE! I MACED MYSELF RIGHT THERE AT THE POLICE STATION! I fell to the floor, blinded, writhing in pain, COULDN'T MOVE FOR 20 MINUTES.
Rose : Well what do you know it works!
Blanche : WORKS?! They thought I was on angel dust! They wanted to arrest me! I'm lying there dyin' and they're harrassin' me. Murderers are free, rapists are free, but me, a poor widow they wanna lock up. Who'd I hurt? Me!

[justthefacts2]

Posted: 2/2/06 at 2:40am

Not sure of the intro, but Rose is telling the St. Olaf story about how they were going to sacrifice the town's dumbest virgin and they were looking for volunteers.

Rose: I don't know WHY I raised my hand...

[MUNKY]

Posted: 2/2/06 at 3:55am

Dorothy: I must warn you, I did time in Attica!
Woman: Attica's a men's prison.
Dorothy: I know. I was there a year before they realize it!!


Sophia: Don't ma me, you cheap floozy
Dorothy: Ma you would do this to your own flesh and blood?
Sophia: Don't worry, you'll get over it. And even if you don't, who cares! I'm going to see Burt Reynolds!



Blanche - Now, if you'll excuse me, I'm going to relax in a hot, steamy bath with just enough water to cover my perky bosoms.
Sophia - You're gonna sit in an inch of water?

[Mamie]

Posted: 2/2/06 at 6:41am

Rose had just explained that she and Charlie had waited until they were married to have sex. She then asked Blanche if she hadn't waited too.

Blanche: NO! I had these....URGES! We mature faster in the South. I think it's the heat.

Dorothy: I think it's the gin.

[alterego]

Posted: 2/2/06 at 7:06am

This isn't actual quote, but I smile evrytime I think of this. Sophia is going to the Burt Reynolds Dinner Theatre to see Ruth Buzzi as Evita. (See I'm smiling now).

[lildogs]

Posted: 2/2/06 at 10:09am

Rose: Girls, I have a problem.
Blanche: Honey, we know you do. You've got to stop buying your hair color from the 99 cent bin at the Pic N Save.

Blanche: It just goes to show you: your hair may turn gray, your skin may get wrinkled, but you're never too old for romance....so don't give up, girls.

Blanche: Dorothy, just because you walk around looking like an ENglish lawyer doesn't mean we all have to.

[children&art]

Posted: 2/2/06 at 11:11am

Picture it, Sicily 1925...

[when they go to the fake reunion and Rose gets stuck with the Kim Fong Toy nametag]
Rose: Different on outside, same on inside.

[Dorothy just left the house for a vacation, leaving her mother to Blanche's care]
Sophia: Fasten your seatbelt, slutpuppy, this ain't gonna be no cakewalk!

Sophia: Jealousy is a very ugly thing, Dorothy! – And so are you, in anything backless.

Blanche [visited the doctor]: He said he wants to put a pacemaker in me.
Sophia: Everybody's got a nickname for it!

[BwayBaby18]

Posted: 2/2/06 at 2:24pm

Best line ever:
[Dorothy just left the house for a vacation, leaving her mother to Blanche's care]
Sophia: Fasten your seatbelt, slutpuppy, this ain't gonna be no cakewalk!

Second best:
Bert Reynoldsto Sophia)Which one is the slut?
Dorothy,Blanch and Roseat the same time) I Am!
Updated On: 2/2/06 at 02:24 PM

[lildogs]

Posted: 2/2/06 at 2:40pm

from the Burt Episode "Ladies of the Night":

Rose: I lost Butter Queen! Haven't I suffered enough?

Dorothy: Girls who'll take their money!? Do you know what he thinks we are?
Rose: Waitresses?!

Meg (the whore): I just didn't want to be as old as you are and still be in the business.
Rose: I haven't felt so good....and so cheap in all my life.

[Pinaud]

Posted: 2/2/06 at 2:53pm

Dorothy: Which goes better? The chain or the pearls?
Rose: The Chain.
Blanche: An amateur's mistake! Can't you see that the chain
accentuates that long, turkey-like neck?
Rose: Yes, but the pearls draw attention to the non-existent
bosom!
Blanche: Yes, but the chain hangs down and draws attention to
that huge spare tire, and those square, manly hips!
Dorothy: Fine! Why don't I just put a sign on me that says, "Too
ugly to live?"
Blanche: Fine, but what are you going to hang it from? The chain
or the pearls?
Dorothy: None! I'm going to spray paint it on my hump!


Blanche: Mel makes me feel young and beautiful and special. When we're together we laugh a lot.
Sophia: Why wouldn't you, you're both naked.


***Dorothy and Rose are apologizing to Blanche after a fight***
Rose: Blanche, you should make us eat dirt, make us grovel, give us the silent treatment...
Dorothy: Rose, if you give us the silent treatment, I will eat dirt.



Rose: I've been on the phone for a half hour and you'll never guess what happened!
Dorothy: You realized you forgot to dial first.
Rose: No.
Blanche: You were holding the receiver the wrong way.
Rose: No.
Dorothy: You were talking into the tv remote instead of the phone.
Rose: No.
Blanche: A shoe?
Rose: No, I'm not an idiot! — The tv has a remote?


Rose: Sophia, am I the only one here who feels like ripping her clothes off and doing the hokey pokey?
Sophia: No Rose, they're just waiting for someone to get them started. Updated On: 2/2/06 at 02:53 PM

[Pinaud]

Posted: 2/2/06 at 2:56pm

***Blanche went on a diet and she just went to the refrigerator only to discover that her daily shake and her sensible meal, a small tuna quiche was missing.***

Blanche: What happened to my tuna quiche? (no answer, Rose starts to slink away towards Dorothy) Rose, where's my tuna quiche?
Rose: You mean that little pie?
Blanche: Little pie? Little pie? You ate my tuna quiche? (she grabs Rose and starts shaking her) YOU ATE MY SENSIBLE MEAL! YOU ATE MY SENSIBLE MEAL!
Dorothy: Blanche! Pull yourself together!
Blanche: Oh my God Rose, what did I just do?
Rose: THIS! (She grabs Blanche and begins shaking her)
Blanche: (haughtily) Well that's just fine, I'll have my shake then. (reaches in fridge for her shake) Where's my shake?
Rose: Well, I needed something to wash down the little pie...
Blanche: (throwing hands in the air and walking out of the kitchen) Just shut up! Just shup up you bubble headed bleached blonde...uh, uh,
Sophia: Baboon.
Blanche: Baboon!
(Dorothy and Rose glare at Sophia after Blanche storms out)
Sophia: What? She needed a B!

Updated On: 2/2/06 at 02:56 PM

[lildogs]

Posted: 2/2/06 at 3:31pm

Blanche: Lazlo, let me just say that you are the greatest Hungarian sculptor of our time.
Dorothy: Yes, Lazlo, and just let me say that if Blanche can name two other Hungarian sculptors of ANY time, I shall eat that statue.

Blanche: Dorothy, you're supposed to be my best friend. Best friends are supposed to confide in one another, so I want to know why you told Anita Roubaker I was having my tubes tied.
Dorothy: I said you bought a tube top. When did you have your tubes tied?
Blanche: I didn't...but it would've been about the same time you had your nose done.
Dorothy: I didn't have my nose done! Rose had her---oh, sorry Rose...
Blanche: Ah! I cannot believe you two kept that from me!
Rose: Well, you're always so critical of those things.
Blanche: How much did it cost you?
Rose: $500.
Blanche: Boy, you were gypped.

[Unknown User]

Posted: 2/2/06 at 4:07pm

dorothy: aw ma, you can't sleep either
sophia: no! I was sleeping so good, I thought I'd try it in the kitchen sink.

[lildogs]

Posted: 2/2/06 at 4:21pm

Rose: So tell me, what does Ham stand for?
Sophia: My guess would be Ham and Potatoes.

Blanche: After all, he has dipped his toe in the lake known as Blanche.

Blanche: When it comes to men, Blanche Devereaux does not stand on ceremony.
Sophia: Or the floor.

Rose: Okay, I'll tell you, but I have to whisper it. (whispers)
Dorothy (big pause): Clayton is a hobo?!

Sophia: Wow, he makes Adolphe Menjou look like Wallace Beery.
Dororthy: Been a while since I took you to the movies, huh Ma?

[BroomstickBoy]

Posted: 2/2/06 at 5:16pm

Blanche : My God I'm hallucinatin'! I see LITTLE BALLS OF SUNSHINE IN A BAG!!!! Does this mean somethin'????
Rose : Those are egg yolks, Blanche.
Blanche : My brain's gone. My body is limp with exhaustion.

that entire scene guarantees laughter every time!

[StageManager2]

Posted: 2/2/06 at 7:46pm

I personally like this exchange. Blanche has been dating Mel Bushman and is gloating to Doroty and Sophia. (I'm paraphrasing, so forgive me if it's inaccurate.)

BLANCHE:
I feel like I'm a virgin again.

SOPHIA:
You mean the feeling's not going to last long?

BLANCHE:
Are you implying that I lost my virginity at an early age?

SOPHIA:
No, I'm just saying your Jack and Jill magazine did not have a gossip column.

DOROTHY:
Ma!

BLANCHE:
Well, I'm not going to let you spoil my mood. You see, Mel and I were meant to be together.

SOPHIA:
I wish I could say the same for your thighs.
God, I'm hot tonight!

BLANCHE:
I don't have to stand for this.

SOPHIA:
Take it Dorothy.

DOROTHY
But I'll bet you'd lie down for it.

[Pinaud]

Posted: 2/12/06 at 11:20pm

"Picture it..." bump

[wonderwaiter]

Posted: 2/13/06 at 1:24am

Blanche- "Shrimp?"


(From the episode where Rose dates a midget.)

[Albin]

Posted: 2/13/06 at 2:18am

Blanche: I don't really mind Clayton being homosexual, I just don't like him dating men.
Dorothy: You really haven't grasped the concept of this gay thing yet, have you?
Blanche: There must be homosexuals who date women.
Sophia: Yeah, they're called lesbians.

[CATSNYrevival]

Posted: 2/13/06 at 2:52am

Dorothy: They need an aphrodisiac.

Rose: An African what?

Dorothy: An aphrodisiac. It's a substance that makes you feel sexy.

Rose: Really? Like what?

Dorothy: Like... Spanish fly.

Rose: Spanish flies?

Dorothy: Fly. Fly, Rose. One fly.

Rose: Oh, c'mon Dorothy I've been to Spain. It's not the cleanest country in the world. They have thousands of flies.

Dorothy: It is not a fly, Rose.

Rose: Spanish fly is not a fly?

Dorothy: No.

Rose: What is it?

Dorothy: A beetle.

Rose: They call it a fly but it's really a beetle?

Dorothy: Yes.

Rose: How do they know it's Spanish?

Dorothy: Because it wears a little sombrero, Rose!

Rose: Why don't they just call it beetle? Spanish beetle.

Dorothy: Because they call it Spanish fly.

Rose: Well, then what do they call their flies?

Dorothy: I don't care, Rose! Forget it, I don't care! The minks can just sit there and we'll lose all our money, I don't care. Just don't ever mention Spanish fly to me ever again!

Rose: You're really touchy about these Spanish flies aren't you?

[Princeton78]

Posted: 2/13/06 at 8:53am

*Blanche reading the votes as to who should move out*

Dorothy.........
Dorothy.........
................
................
................
Dorothy.........
................
................
................
................
................
................
................
Dororthy.

[doodlenyc]

Posted: 2/13/06 at 11:47am

"I see London, I see France, I see Blanche's underpants."

"I look like the mother of a Solid Gold dancer."

from the Great Herring War discussion...

"...but they shot him into a tree...after that no other herring would do it."

[The Grovers Corners Yenta2]

Posted: 2/13/06 at 12:45pm

There was one episode where Rose pronounces L.A. Law as Lah Law.

[PJ]

Posted: 2/13/06 at 11:20pm

Princeton, that part where they vote on who needs to move out is probably the funniest thing I've ever seen on television. I completely forgot about it until you reminded me!