Hugh's long time (Business) Partner Photos!- Page 4

[Unknown User]

Posted: 9/20/05 at 7:39pm

Jerby - I think maybe my issue has to do with - um, 'tone', I guess - which is certainly difficult to discern in a medium such as this. As I've said, I myself have engaged in talk along the lines of, "If he is, he's all MINE!"

I just react a little negatively when it's absolutely presented as, "He's a liar, and I KNOW it!" It's the mocking that grates.

[gymman]

Posted: 9/20/05 at 7:40pm

I was being sort of facetious--I mean, they have boyfriends, travel the gay circuit, are seen in gay bars and restaurants (yes, by me)...and are generally known to be gay. They are not in the closet, yet not really officially out either...that's the dilemma...

[Unknown User]

Posted: 9/20/05 at 7:44pm

I think you also have to acknowledge that, however ridiculous or unfair or unjust it is, there is a stigma attached to being gay - especially in the industry. That's the reason it is so helpful and important when people are out - and also the reason that all this speculation takes place.

But it is still a reality, and it shouldn't be taken lightly to throw someone into a position of having their lives affected like that.

[jrb_actor]

Posted: 9/20/05 at 7:45pm

I hear ya, D--it also sounds like bitchy entitlement to know and be right about it. And, then when the star does come out, we take a big crap on them--Ellen, Rosie, etc.

[orangeskittles]

Posted: 9/20/05 at 7:46pm

gymman, I didn't know NPH was openly gay. Just because certain people may be in the know about an actor's personal life doesn't mean that everyone knows. Why is it YOUR duty to spread the gossip- er, news, instead of allowing the individual to do it for themself? Or respecting that not every actor feels that it is necessary to publically announce the details of their personal life?

Since you're so dedicated to openness, who was the last person you had sex with?

[NYadgal]

Posted: 9/20/05 at 7:48pm

Then why doesn't the gay community try to fight the gossip which only diminishes the honesty they are seeking? Does it really help to have websites trying to 'out' people in such a derogatory manner?

[Unknown User]

Posted: 9/20/05 at 7:51pm

Addy - I won't speak for others, but for me, the sites like Datalounge are stomache churning. It plays to the lowest common denominator of shallowness, pettiness and meanness. I can't imagine anything like that would help anyone - gays included.

[jrb_actor]

Posted: 9/20/05 at 7:51pm

addie--that might be possible if the gay community was actually unified or even agreed on the same principles. It's as diverse and multifaceted as any. That's good and bad I guess.

One day, we might be able to just live our lives, but this isn't a time in America where being gay is just that casual. It's not like skin color or gender where everyone can clearly see what you are.

[Plum]

Posted: 9/20/05 at 7:51pm

Now I'm curious. What constitutes "coming out"? Telling close friends and family? Telling everyone you meet? Holding a reverse-Piazza press conference?

[jrb_actor]

Posted: 9/20/05 at 7:54pm

Plum--I would say it's stages.

For me it was

myself
my close friends
my close family
my friends
my family
everyone

and yet I still will have to come out to my fundamentalist Christian aunt if I ever see her again. My tummy hurts just thinking about that one!

[orangeskittles]

Posted: 9/20/05 at 7:55pm

So you haven't held your press conference yet?

[NYadgal]

Posted: 9/20/05 at 7:55pm

And yet, what percentage of people who post on sites like Datalounge are gay? I find it curious that people can be their own worst enemies...

[gymman]

Posted: 9/20/05 at 7:56pm

Orange Skittles--The last person I had sex with, since you ask, was my partner of 5 years; but why do you reduce being gay to whom someone has sex with? This is simple-minded and mean spirited. And it is not my "duty" to spread anything;
most gay people on this board know that NPH is gay...he doesn't exactly hide it. That's exactly what I meant be "dilemma.'

[jrb_actor]

Posted: 9/20/05 at 7:56pm

I'd say there are many straight people who enjoy outting gays--by negative or optimistic motivations the same as some gay people.

[NYadgal]

Posted: 9/20/05 at 7:57pm

Jerby - I posted that last post before I saw what you wrote. Yes, the gay community is diverse and multifaceted. Which is exactly why I don't understand why members of the community are so demanding that others behave (in terms of coming out) in the same way.

[jrb_actor]

Posted: 9/20/05 at 7:58pm

You make a fantastic point--the perfect companion to what I said. :)

[Plum]

Posted: 9/20/05 at 8:00pm

I find it curious that people can be their own worst enemies...

It's called self-loathing, Addy. I've even seen some misogynistic women in my time, and how sad is that?

[NYadgal]

Posted: 9/20/05 at 8:00pm

For me, it all boils down to respect.

And there seems to be such a lack of it these days.

[NYadgal]

Posted: 9/20/05 at 8:01pm

Plum, it's very sad.

[gymman]

Posted: 9/20/05 at 8:06pm

Yes, respect...that's why I am so angry when people reduce being gay to having sex--what about relationships, love, companionship, family, partnering? Yes, gay people do these too, just like heterosexuals. Yet we are constantly demeaned by the reference to those we "have sex" with.
Updated On: 9/20/05 at 08:06 PM

[NYadgal]

Posted: 9/20/05 at 8:07pm

"but why do you reduce being gay to whom someone has sex with? This is simple-minded and mean spirited"


And the thread comes full circle...

[gymman]

Posted: 9/20/05 at 8:08pm

yes, indeed

[NYadgal]

Posted: 9/20/05 at 8:08pm

I couldn't agree with you more, gymman!

[DAME]

Posted: 9/20/05 at 8:08pm

OY

[gymman]

Posted: 9/20/05 at 8:10pm

I know people don't always mean that, but it is a technique of the homophobe to make us all about sex, and nothing else. It's what certain right-wingers do all the time.