I Got An F!

[JudasIscariot]

Posted: 8/18/10 at 6:23pm

In my entire college career, this is the only paper that I've ever received a flat out F on. I posted it to FunnyorDie.com because I think it's hilarious, if you think so too, rate it funny!

https://www.funnyordie.com/stories/b7db0380bc/the-ancient-enemy-why-old-people-are-destroying-america

I just had Adam McKay, founder of FunnyorDie, writer of Anchorman, Talladega Nights, The Other Guys, and Step Brothers tell me on Twitter that "SH*T.... that is really funny. I love how weak the teacher's counter arguments are."

I've passed it around and people have gotten a good laugh from it, hopefully you do too.


Updated On: 8/18/10 at 06:23 PM

[AEA AGMA SM]

Posted: 8/18/10 at 6:28pm

I'm curious what your professor thought of Swift's "A Modest Proposal."

[JudasIscariot]

Posted: 8/18/10 at 6:32pm

When I went into her office to argue the grade I brought up A Modest Proposal. I asked her if she thought that Swift was seriously suggesting that we should eat children to which she told me to stop being arrogant and that his argument was so ridiculous that you had no doubt that he wasn't serious.

Well..? Should we really force seniors into labor camps? Sound reasonable I guess!
Updated On: 8/18/10 at 06:32 PM

[nmartin]

Posted: 8/18/10 at 6:36pm

AEA and Judas, the first thing I thought of as a high school English teacher was A Modest Proposal, which I teach to seniors. Judas, your professor obviously does not understand satire. I would have given you an A as soon as I stopped laughing!

[tazber]

Posted: 8/18/10 at 6:48pm

I can't believe your teacher took that seriously.

Btw, if you haven't seen the cult classic Wild In The Streets I can not encourage you enough to seek it out.
It is the most psychedelic freak out of a movie I have ever seen. And it's also a campfest par extraordinaire.

(you can find it on dvd on the "Midnight Movies" line from Fox)

Without giving too much away it involves putting senirs in camps and forcing them to drop acid. If that doesn't sound enticing enough, one of the seniors is played by Shelley Winters who hams it up.

Two words: Bril Liant

[JudasIscariot]

Posted: 8/18/10 at 7:13pm

Hah thanks nmartin, and tazber holy **** that sounds awesome. Netflix!

[strummergirl]

Posted: 8/18/10 at 8:27pm

I think maybe you should have discussed it with your professor before you went all out with it. Initially I wanted to give a tongue in cheek report on Alexander Hamilton in Stephen Colbert/Sara Vowell way but I talked with my professor, who I had great respect for, beforehand and it just did not seem like a good idea after our conversation.

That said, your professor seems to know little about satire and it definitely did not warrant a F.

[JudasIscariot]

Posted: 8/18/10 at 8:49pm

Well here is the kicker. I wrote a paper right before this one about how mullets can be threatening outside of the trailer park and she loved it and gave me an A. When I returned the rough draft of this paper, she wrote those comments and I explained to her that it was satire and obviously I didn't mean what I said so she gave me an A. Then when I typed it up and turned in the final draft she decided that it was an F and didn't recall ever having the conversation with me about it.

[nmartin]

Posted: 8/18/10 at 8:57pm

I can't believe that you had to explain to her that it's satirical. My inner city students would know it's a satire.

[JudasIscariot]

Posted: 8/18/10 at 9:07pm

I couldn't believe it either. Honestly, she this woman was an idiot. She told me that it didn't have enough exclamation marks that stressed the ridiculousness and that she was extremely offended by it. Either way, I did the assignment which was just to pick a thesis statement and defend it. Regardless of whether or not she agreed with the subject matter, I still did the assignment.

[StockardFan]

Posted: 8/18/10 at 9:37pm

Well clearly the fact that she didn't remember having the first conversation with you proves that all old people are senile.

[JudasIscariot]

Posted: 8/18/10 at 9:41pm

She's really just fueling the stereotype, especially since there were only about 15 students in my class.

[StockardFan]

Posted: 8/18/10 at 10:04pm

LOL! Exactly!

Posted: 8/18/10 at 10:08pm

I don't know what your assignment was, but in the "olden days" you got graded on a paper's structure, grammar and execution not whether the teacher agreed with you.

I'd take it up with the department head.

[SweetQintheLights]

Posted: 8/18/10 at 10:27pm

"I don't know what your assignment was, but in the "olden days" you got graded on a paper's structure, grammar and execution not whether the teacher agreed with you.

I'd take it up with the department head."

Completely agree. If you did what the assignment called for, then the paper should be graded on what Joe mentioned, not the beliefs of the teacher. If this F is going to be a significant grade in the class or bring down your GPA, I wouldn't just shrug it off.

[JudasIscariot]

Posted: 8/18/10 at 10:27pm

Joe, the assignment was literally just to form a thesis statement and support it. Simple as that! After grading that paper she graded all of my other papers extremely harshly and tried to give me a failing grade for the year. I went into her office raising a fuss about it and I threatened to go to the English dept. head and file a complaint about her to which she backed down and passed me with a C-. It sucks because my English 220 class was the hardest that I've ever taken in my life and I got an A, but I almost failed English 110 because of her. When I tried to explain that it was satire and that she just didn't get it I told her that I was almost certain any other English teacher would have realized it. After telling her that, she decided that we were going to walk around the English department together and she was going to ask other professors to read it in front of me so they could decide, talk about professional. I told her, "Okay, but don't tell them the grade you gave me before you read it to them. Just ask them to read it and ask what they think it should be graded." To which she replied, "Be quiet, I am your superior, don't you tell me what to do."Anyway we found one teacher hanging around the department who refused to read it and said that they didn't have time for it, so her little plan to try to embarrass me or whatever she was going for failed.

Anyway, that was 2 years ago and I can laugh about it now, but at the time I was really pissed off. I still have a 3.3 GPA, and a great essay!

Updated On: 8/18/10 at 10:27 PM

[jasonf]

Posted: 8/19/10 at 12:11am

Wow - as a teacher myself, it sounds like you did the assignment and then some - the creativity alone deserves an A - just think how many assignments she probably read that start with "We shouldn't have to wear uniforms in college because we pay to be here."

You definitely would have had a case with the department head!

[TheatreDiva90016]

Posted: 8/19/10 at 1:23am

Is that Orson Bean on the web site?

That made me LOL, since I'm working with him right now.

[AC126748]

Posted: 8/19/10 at 6:26am

As a college English teacher, I'd be happy to receive a paper as well-written and creative as yours. I would suggest filing a formal grade dispute...no matter what your professor may think of your choice of topic, there is no way that that paper warrants a flat out F.

I actually think I know where you go to school and who the professor in question is, BTW. If you don't mind, would you PM me the name so I can know if I'm right or not?

Updated On: 8/19/10 at 06:26 AM

[Schmerg_The_Impaler]

Posted: 8/19/10 at 8:30pm

Now I'm really curious where you go to school. I'd think a professor would be relieved to see an assignment from a kid who doesn't take himself and his views so seriously that he thinks he's the ultimate authority on everything.

[Calvin]

Posted: 8/19/10 at 8:32pm

Diva, I thought Orson Bean was a huge homophobe.
eta: NM Diva, I was thinking of Orson Scott Card -- huge difference!

And Judas, as another writer, I'm definitely on the appeal train.
Updated On: 8/19/10 at 08:32 PM

[AbbaRabbit]

Posted: 8/22/10 at 12:46am

i'm printing this out (in large print) for my 84 year old grandmother. this is seriously the type of thing we make jokes about all the time.