#1
Posted: 1/30/13 at 10:21pm
Forgive an overshare, but I do have some words for the group. The bad news is that for anyone who finds me a general nuisance or just downright annoying, it's not going to get any better any time soon. The good news is that I had a doctor's appointment yesterday and I'm happy to announce that I have been cancer-free for two years.
It was the first testing and waiting period since this saga began when I wasn't convinced I was going to have yet another recurrence and even that is a milestone in itself, because - and I can't speak for everyone who has survived it - the big C has felt like The Sword of Damocles for so long, I can't even express how nice it feels to finally believe it's over.
When I look back at where I was pre-cancer it seems like that was someone else. If I dwell too long on it I almost feel like I'm gonna have PTSD.
On that note, let me say that may I never hope to have chemotherapy again. I'm a vindictive bitch at times, but I wouldn't wish it on my worst enemy. Beyond the ennui, the dissociation and the vomiting, it always felt to me like I was being punished for every bad decision I'd made. I think it's one of those things you can't ever really understand until you've been there, but if you never take my word for anything again, just trust me, it sucks!
The past three and half or so years have been really rough for a lot of reasons beyond the cancer. I've lost a lot along the way, including that crazy half-Frenchie who I still miss every day, and my left ball, which I almost never even think about.
Thanks to those of you who here who helped see me through it and here's to the future - uncertain though it may be, at least it's something.
It was the first testing and waiting period since this saga began when I wasn't convinced I was going to have yet another recurrence and even that is a milestone in itself, because - and I can't speak for everyone who has survived it - the big C has felt like The Sword of Damocles for so long, I can't even express how nice it feels to finally believe it's over.
When I look back at where I was pre-cancer it seems like that was someone else. If I dwell too long on it I almost feel like I'm gonna have PTSD.
On that note, let me say that may I never hope to have chemotherapy again. I'm a vindictive bitch at times, but I wouldn't wish it on my worst enemy. Beyond the ennui, the dissociation and the vomiting, it always felt to me like I was being punished for every bad decision I'd made. I think it's one of those things you can't ever really understand until you've been there, but if you never take my word for anything again, just trust me, it sucks!
The past three and half or so years have been really rough for a lot of reasons beyond the cancer. I've lost a lot along the way, including that crazy half-Frenchie who I still miss every day, and my left ball, which I almost never even think about.
Thanks to those of you who here who helped see me through it and here's to the future - uncertain though it may be, at least it's something.
Updated On: 1/30/13 at 10:21 PM
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