I just ordered my new baby bird!- Page 3

[Weez]

Posted: 3/3/09 at 5:53pm

Jane - my first rat was Freya. I only had her for ten months before she succumbed to a tumour, but she was far and away the most wonderful pet I ever had. It took me a further ten months to get around to burying her; she stayed in the garage freezer for that whole time, and if you promise not to think less of me, I'll admit to frequent visits. And I only had her TEN MONTHS. What you are feeling, terrible as it is, can surely only be completely normal. What a beautiful boy.

[StockardFan]

Posted: 3/3/09 at 5:59pm

How did I miss this thread?

Jane, my heart is breaking for you. I'm so sorry. You are in my thoughts and prayers........

[DayDreamer]

Posted: 3/3/09 at 6:20pm

I'm so sorry, Jane.

[Jane2]

Posted: 3/3/09 at 6:40pm

Thanks again for all your sweet words, I really needed them.

Weez-I would never make fun of you. I'm still clutching my boy to my heart after five hours. I can't let go. And I don't want to put him in the freezer. I just couldn't do that to him.

[PiraguaGuy2]

Posted: 3/3/09 at 6:49pm

I'm so sorry, Jane. My condolences and thoughts.

[Dollypop]

Posted: 3/3/09 at 6:59pm

Sincere condolences. The death of a pet is like the death of a family member. I've been there. I know.

[SNAFU]

Posted: 3/3/09 at 8:28pm

Jane, truly sorry! I have lost many pets in my life and it is never easy! I have always. Just ride out the grief. It will take time but the pain will slowly be filled with the wonderful memories. There will always be that place in your heart where Robbie Sue still lives.

[Marianne2]

Posted: 3/3/09 at 8:29pm

Just adding to what others have said. There is nothing wrong with your grieving at all. 30 years is a very long time to have a pet, so I think that makes it even harder.

[Q]

Posted: 3/3/09 at 8:39pm

You know, I've just got to say that I can't quite wrap my head around the time element involved here. I had never had pets, and became the 'evil step-mother' to the two dogs my partner had when we married. Even after five years, the loss of the first one was devastating.

I really can't process thirty years of that kind of comfort.

Personally, I think the fact that you're coherrent means you're on the right track. Obviously it sucks in the extreme, but I think you know somewhere inside that you're still there, and will find the life you need after processing the grief.

Again, my heart and hugs are with you.

[luvtheEmcee]

Posted: 3/3/09 at 8:42pm

I'm so sorry to hear this. I can't imagine what you must be going through.

[Jane2]

Posted: 3/3/09 at 8:45pm

And again, thank you everyone. Yes, Robbie Sue was my only companion for over half my life. I can't bear that he's not here.

But I finally put the blanket down. I actually did put it in the freezer, as I'm considering cremation. I'm doing this because that way I can always have him with me.

And yes, Q, he was more a family member than a pet. I loved him so much it's ridiculous. This is the hardest thing I've ever gone through.

Thanks for everything, friends!

[Q]

Posted: 3/3/09 at 9:01pm

"I loved him so much it's ridiculous."

Sorry. Even though you are in the depths of Hell, I can't let you get away with that.

It is NOT ridiculous.

At all.

I wish you to feel all the arms reaching out to enfold you through this cold and distant internet. So many have come to say they understand, and you can rest in that knowledge and comaraderie.

[Jane2]

Posted: 3/3/09 at 9:05pm

You are so right, Q. The love and support here has brought me to tears as well.

LIfe ain't easy-there are the tough times as well as the good ones.

[Q]

Posted: 3/3/09 at 9:09pm

To paraphrase a line known to every show queen here -

YOU'RE STILL HERE!

And we're thankful - and OH SO SORRY for your pain and loss.

[miss pennywise]

Posted: 3/4/09 at 12:22am

Jane, I am so, so sorry to hear this. Shocked, too. I can't even imagine being there without him. You must be in terrible pain, and my heart goes out to you.

I don't know who else here got to actually meet Robbie Sue. But anyone who has knows how special he was. I'm not even sure what to say. I'm going to miss him so much, so I'm sure this is breaking your heart.

So very sad. Again, I understand how you feel, and I'm just very sorry.

[Shannon Bo Dannon]

Posted: 3/4/09 at 12:48am

Jane! This is horrible to hear, I'm so sorry! =[

[Scripps2]

Posted: 3/4/09 at 4:39am

"LIfe ain't easy"

Never a truer word spoken.

Pleased to read you're bearing up.

And if ever you're not, you can bump the thread.

[iflitifloat]

Posted: 3/4/09 at 7:25am

I've nothing new to add other than that I, too, am very sorry that you've lost your beloved companion. I wish comfort for you and peace for Robbie Sue.

[Jane2]

Posted: 3/4/09 at 8:05am

I'm so moved by all your kind words of support. thanks again, friends.

And Miss P, thanks so much for seeing how special my boy was.

It was very hard to get out of bed today but I think I'll be okay in the long run. Probably every morning will be a little easier. I'm going to be very lonely living alone for the first time in 30 years. But I could never go through this again, so I may not ever get another pet.

I'm debating having him cremated so I can always have him with me, or burying him in my friend's yard along with a parrot she has buried there. And then, in time, she would give me the soil which covered him.

Any thoughts on those options?

Updated On: 3/4/09 at 08:05 AM

[Phyllis Rogers Stone]

Posted: 3/4/09 at 10:02am

Jane -

First I want to echo what Q said - the crazy gorilla lady notwithstanding, the amount of love someone has for their pet is never ridiculous. And grief over the loss of a beloved pet is something that you should ever have to justify.

A few years ago my mother lost her beloved dog Bob. This dog was something else, and we were all heartbroken over his death. My mother said it was going to be a long time before she'd be ready to have another dog again. Cut to two weeks later and she brought a home a puppy she rescued. I know it's not the same, but I think you might be surprised how you feel once the initial pain starts to subside. You may just find that you DO want to open your heart to another bird or different type of pet. Or maybe you won't.

I'm not sure which of the two options you've told us about I'd pick. I can see a case for both. Perhaps you might have him cremated so that you can keep him with you for a time, and then decide later on if you'd like to bury the ashes or scatter them somewhere. That's sort of taking the middleground, I guess.

At any rate, I've been thinking about you and I hope that you are doing the best you can. I know you'll be grieving for a while, but I hope you're able to find a little solace, both on the board and off.

Updated On: 3/4/09 at 10:02 AM

[doodlenyc]

Posted: 3/4/09 at 10:18am

Jane, again I am sending you my warmest thoughts and pray you're heart finds solace sooner than later.

I actually wish I had kept the ashes of my 15 yo kitten, Sophie. I had her cremated, after having to decide to have her put down. It was such a terrible ordeal that I made a hasty decision that she was no longer there and no urn could take her place.

Since then, I have a friend who has creamated and kept all of her pets. She has a special place for them and she cherishes having them still in her home.

I dont know what I would do if my two kids now ever think to leave me...but I would definitely consider cremation and keeping the ashes. You can keep them or scatter them when you are ready, as Phyl suggests.

[Jane2]

Posted: 3/4/09 at 10:26am

I think I'm as touched by the love and support of you BWWers as I am by Robbie Sue's death. I've learned an important lesson here and that's to see how good people really are. Thanks once again, friends.

I still don't know what I'm going to do about his body, but as long as I have it in the freezer (that sounds awful), I can take my time. I wonder if it's ok to make lasagna and freeze it right near Robbie Sue? oy, bad joke.

[Phyllis Rogers Stone]

Posted: 3/4/09 at 10:37am

When I was about ten or so I had a hamster that died in the middle of winter, so I put him in an old Hershey bar box and put him in the freezer so I could bury him when the ground thawed. The thing was I did that without telling anyone. I can still remember my sister's scream when she found it.

And jokes - bad taste or not - are always appropriate.

[doodlenyc]

Posted: 3/4/09 at 10:38am

Actually, it's funny and humor will help you through this (and I was thinking the same thing.)

I'd also suggest calling his vet and letting them know. They may have suggestions on what you should do, and you may be able to have them hold him until you make a decision.

[Reginald Tresilian]

Posted: 3/4/09 at 11:06am

Jane, whatever you decide to do, there is no wrong choice here.

But I do like your idea of cremation. As Phyllis says, it lets you keep him with you now, and if you decide later to do something with his remains (the yard sounds like a lovely idea!), you won't have eliminated the possibility.

Sending you today's batch of love . . .