It never stops hurting...- Page 3

[Unknown User]

Posted: 7/11/05 at 2:26pm

You have to stand up for yourself instead of crying about it. It's just a word. I love being called "fag" and "queer" because it gives me an excuse to pull the card and kick some ass. People will treat you different if they know you're not affected by their taunts.

[BobbyBubby]

Posted: 7/11/05 at 2:28pm

Standing up for yourself and lowering yourself to their level are 2 different things.

[Broadway_Bound_Star]

Posted: 7/11/05 at 2:41pm

Yeah, I know how you feel, I am not gay, but if people call me fag or queer or anything, I get all nasty to them about it. But that I really think is that people try and get to you about stuff, and they want it to bother you. But It bothers me, but I just don't show it.

[KelRel]

Posted: 7/11/05 at 2:45pm

Bobby- I think that it is admirable of you to not stoop to the level of the man you spoke to on the phone. He was not worth you wasting your time and engery over. You are a wonderful person and he is an idiot who can't even get his GED. Its times like this you should quote a cheer from "Bring it On!"
Say it with me
"Thats alright, thats ok, you're gonna pump my gas someday!"

You will be more sucessful and more enlightened by the end of the week than he will be by the end of his life. I am so sorry you had to deal with such hurtful words, but you are the better person in this situation. *hug*

[Unknown User]

Posted: 7/11/05 at 3:11pm

"People will treat you different if they know you're not affected by their taunts."

Can someone please explain to me how reacting so strongly that you're willing to resort to physical violence will show that you're not affected by their words?

[Broadwayboobs]

Posted: 7/11/05 at 3:16pm

But Addy says it doesn't hurt..oh wait..she was talking about something else...sorry..continue.

[Unknown User]

Posted: 7/11/05 at 3:23pm

If you're called a fag and you go cry about it, they're going to do it more, but if you stand up for yourself and show them that you're not going to put up with it, then they'll stop.

That's how it worked in my high school.

[BobbyBubby]

Posted: 7/11/05 at 3:29pm

Or in some cases when you stand up for yourself, you get killed.

[Unknown User]

Posted: 7/11/05 at 3:35pm

Only the lucky ones.

[Elphaba]

Posted: 7/11/05 at 3:37pm

captain, you've been watching too many 'Queer as Folk" episodes.

Two wrongs don't make a right......that is not standing up for yourself, that is making an ass out of yourself, and coming down to the idiots level.

There are ways to stand up for yourself......sinking to the level of scum is not one of them.

Bobby, what bothers me most is your supervisors response. I cannot think of any group, minority or not, that doesn't have derogatory names hurled at them. Perhaps you should sit your supervisor down and say something like.....'How would you feel if someone called you......and fill in the word for that group, whether it be n*, chink, kike, wetback, slut,....and the list goes on and on......
Perhaps then your supervisor would get it

[BobbyBubby]

Posted: 7/11/05 at 3:40pm

He's a white straight male. He is fat though.

Yeah, I've tried with my sup and manager. I give up, it's not worth my energy.

[Cruel_Sandwich]

Posted: 7/11/05 at 4:11pm

What if people started using the words "faggot" and "n*" in a more casual context. Not overusing it, of course, but using it in a way so that it is in casual conversation. Do you think this could possibly dilute the word's power?

I'm not looking to stir anything up but I'm just trying to bring up something that I've been thinking about lately.

[CurtainUp]

Posted: 7/11/05 at 4:23pm

I'm really sorry - people are so outrageously ignorant and unkind. You just have to know you're better than them.

[Jimmcf]

Posted: 7/11/05 at 4:29pm

Just fill out a subscription for a gay porno in his name, and send it 'bill me later'

[ljay889]

Posted: 7/11/05 at 4:44pm

I find that rather upsetting also - that your supervisor didn't care.

I feel it's great that you didn't stoop to his level. If you wen't back and called him the N word like some said you should - it really could've backfired on you, and your job might be in danger. I think you did the right thing. I just wish your supervisor cared.

[Unknown User]

Posted: 7/11/05 at 4:51pm

I quit watching QAF after the first season ended, thank you.

[DBillyP]

Posted: 7/11/05 at 5:01pm

While I am sorry that the word was used at all, and I certainly don't condone him saying it, I do want to say that words only have the power that we give them. It is exactly why groups use the words that are used against them amongst themselves, much as Cruel mentioned.

Bobby, don't give the word power, and it can't hurt you.

[jrb_actor]

Posted: 7/11/05 at 5:12pm

I would also try to make sure your response to being called a faggot is not one that reinforces that being a faggot is a bad thing:

a group of thuggy 20yos in midtown called me faggot after I stood up to them for making fat jokes about a friend of mine as we passed them. I said, "I am. So what? F*CK off."

They were FLOORED. Because I didn't treat the word as an insult--as if being a faggot is a bad thing. I proudly declared that I was indeed gay. They also p***ied out because they knew I wouldn't just take their crap.

(did it/does it hurt to hear homophobic comments--you bet. But I swear I will aspire to be as strong faced as I was that day).

[jrb_actor]

Posted: 7/11/05 at 5:13pm

And Capn, if I ever hear that you called someone the N word, I'LL kick your butt. Don't ever stoop to that level.

[Cruel_Sandwich]

Posted: 7/11/05 at 5:18pm

JRB - I admire you. That's exactly what you should have done in that situation. This word is not a knife, it is not a gun, it is not a nuclear weapon. It is a word and words were not meant to cause pain. Thank you for treating it as it is: a word.

[grizzabella]

Posted: 7/11/05 at 7:23pm

Bobby, what happened to you was disgraceful, both from the behavior itself, and your supervisor's failure to understand. But you seem to be a strong, ethical and level-headed person and you have kept your dignity and self-respect. For that, you should be very proud. The high road is always harder.
However, it still wrecked your day and sadly, the world has a lot of bigoted idiots in it. Surround yourself with good people tonight. It will help.

[Unknown User]

Posted: 7/11/05 at 7:26pm

You just wrote faggot, but you didn't write n*?

[jrb_actor]

Posted: 7/11/05 at 9:54pm

Because I am a gay. I am not black, so I don't feel comfortable using that word.

Glad that's all you got out of it.

Updated On: 7/11/05 at 09:54 PM

[TheatreDiva612]

Posted: 7/11/05 at 9:56pm

Amen jrb actor

[Unknown User]

Posted: 7/11/05 at 9:58pm

Yep. What if you were black AND gay? then would you feel comfortable using both?