Namo Looks Back: The Oscars 2014

[FindingNamo]

Posted: 3/3/14 at 11:00pm

The Oscar Awards were held on Sunday March 2nd 2014 on the television and Namo watched them, not in HD. Here is his response:

One thing that was different this year was that the Oscars were long. They seemed to take a long time. It was like, a long… probably like forever between the first exciting award for Best Supporting Actress and then like I don't even know, a really long time until the next exciting award which the T community has made clear they were NOT excited about. Speaking of LGBTQI issues, what is with this antiquated word "Actress"? This is like exactly the same if the NAACP gave out a Best Negress Award. It would never happen and it is sexualist and it MUST be changed. It's triggering.

Lorna Luft was there and today she tweeted that the entire thing was fun from start to finish, but apparently she is wrong. She must have been somewhere else when the host Ellen, who is openly lesbian, called Liza a male drag queen. This language was very offensive. It might be triggering.

I don't remember much else, it did seem to go on a long time. Matthew McC won best actor, which is great for him but also for us because now he can be relegated to just doing nothing and after his horrible speech, nobody wants to hear from him ever again.

EVERYBODY'S peee oohhhhed at John Travolta ("Battleship Earth") because he revealed the truth about himself, that he is stupid. Obviously people who are angry at him are ableist and therefore engaging in judgment that could be very triggering. On the other hand, nobody ever wants to hear from him again, so it doesn't matter.

U2 were insufferable and while they were wasting time doing their derivative new song, a starving AIDS baby died once per measure. The middle eight was an act of deliberate cruelty. Kudos to The Edge for finding a formal beanie to wear to this auspicious occasion. Maybe U2's best friend, Bank of America, bought it for him? Let's hope they take the title of their next single to heart: Invisible! (NOT the Patti Lupone number from Women on the Verge… alas). Next stop: Vegas!

Let's see, what else? The Wizard of Oz tribute. This rarely-discussed or revisited story could USE some attention for once and the perfect place for it is right in the middle of a very long award show. I have it on good authority (my imagination) that Pink opted not to hang upside down from the theater ceiling while a hologram tornado twisted around her because she's pregnant. AGAIN.

The Eurythmics did a hopelessly twee rendition of "Fool on The Hill", which really needed some Yellow Submarine clips, but nobody thought of that. Lazy Annie Lennox trotted out her horrible HIV Positive t-shirt for the finale, "Let it Be," from the movie of the same name. At least THAT had its movie connection made explicit.

"12 Years a Slave" won best movie which was totally right on. It was a much better movie than "Graffiti" with Sandra Bullock. Both she and Cate Blanchett (who had the temerity not to condemn the director of the movie she starred in, which was probably very triggering for award winning journalist Rodan Snotra-Farrow) competed for Best Single Tear Trickling Down the Cheek, and despite Bullock's cartoon tear floating in the air, Blanchett won with her more analog approach to single tear shedding. Brava, Australian diva!

Body issues were at the forefront of this year's telecast, as usual. Many old people had horrible things done to their faces in the hopes that they could feel better about what you think they look like. Some lost a lot of weight for roles and yet, cough cough, this didn't mean a nomination of any sort Dan Stevens! My connections tell me a lot of fists were crammed down throats after pizza was openly consumed on camera.

All in all it was a great show, the best in years.

Did anyone else watch?

Updated On: 3/3/14 at 11:00 PM

[Borstalboy]

Posted: 3/3/14 at 11:08pm

What did you think when Susan Dey came out in drag and thanked the "dreamers" in the Ukraine and Valenzuela?

[FindingNamo]

Posted: 3/3/14 at 11:13pm

The first thing I thought was those braces that played radio signals in her mouth made her teeth PERFECT!

[Jane2]

Posted: 3/3/14 at 11:33pm

I enjoyed the Jan and Dean segment.

[FindingNamo]

Posted: 3/3/14 at 11:44pm

I might have missed it. At one point I was looking for the Kickstarter to pay for the pizza.

[EricMontreal22]

Posted: 3/3/14 at 11:44pm

A very thought-provoking read. However, Lorna most certainly was present for the Liza dragqueen comment--she laughed the loudest in the room.

[Jane2]

Posted: 3/3/14 at 11:46pm

Haha, fabulous, Eric!

[FindingNamo]

Posted: 3/3/14 at 11:48pm

Oh my. Maybe she didn't know she was meant to be upset. Thank goodness for the sensitivity of others, I always say.

[sabrelady]

Posted: 3/3/14 at 11:58pm

I hear if u use special toothpastes the sensitivity goes away.

[FindingNamo]

Posted: 3/4/14 at 12:29am

Is it just for your teeth?

[Jay Lerner-Z]

Posted: 3/4/14 at 12:36am

No best-dressed?

[Jordan Catalano]

Posted: 3/4/14 at 12:40am

Bento Tinderbox looked amazing.

[FindingNamo]

Posted: 3/4/14 at 12:41am

Peter N'yongo, of course.

[sabrelady]

Posted: 3/4/14 at 12:44am

I think where EVER u brush hard enuf the sensitivity would go away- at least for a while.

[FindingNamo]

Posted: 3/4/14 at 12:46am

Interested, interested, VERY interested...

[Jordan Catalano]

Posted: 3/4/14 at 12:48am

June Squibbed in her seat and nobody talked about it because she's old.

[NYadgal]

Posted: 3/4/14 at 12:48am

Damn. I fell asleep and didn't watch. I hope I remembered to tape it.

[sabrelady]

Posted: 3/4/14 at 12:56am

Tape what? I didn't remember.

[JerseyGirl2]

Posted: 3/4/14 at 1:23am

Addy, I have it on Betamax, if you want to borrow it.

[FishermanBob]

Posted: 3/4/14 at 1:51am

The most touching moment was the tribute to the 11th anniversary of "A Mighty Wind". I couldn't believe they actually got Mitch and Mickey to perform again as a tribute to the 10th anniversary of their performance on the 2004 Oscars.

Updated On: 3/4/14 at 01:51 AM

[Addison D.]

Posted: 3/4/14 at 8:46am

Give it up, "Namo". Just more of the Racist, Ageist, Liza-centric, Paternalistic Heterophobic (R.A.L.P.H.) blather which 'Namo'(Whom I suspect is actually JerseyStormCatalano's PalGal) has used since joining the boards (again!) last Thursday--trying to get everybody angry. Well, it won't work. We're too smart for you!

[Broadwayboobs]

Posted: 3/4/14 at 8:58am

It was nice seeing Billie Burke strutting herself again.

[Jane2]

Posted: 3/4/14 at 9:22am

^ that was so funny I Sharted.

[CarlosAlberto]

Posted: 3/4/14 at 10:49am

Lisa Minestrone looked cute in the blue satin jumper.

I hated when Ellen Degenerate called her a man.

[best12bars]

Posted: 3/4/14 at 11:49am

I assume "strutting herself" is a euphemism, eh boobs?