Speaking of idiots, Clark and Hannah engage in a bitchfest about the inclusion of a transsexual in the competition. Clark believes Isis has NO PLACE in the competition and is repulsed at the thought that one of the girls may have some extra boxes in the basement. Was she looking forward to seeing vaginas all day? Just saying... Then comes my favorite soundbyte. Hannah explains that basically all people from small towns can't handle trannies, wich she explains in a really backwards way as having a "warped view" of transsexuals, which would be admitting that she knows the truth, yet won't admit to it, but we later learn Hannah has a habit of speaking before thinking. Clark illustrates graphically that Isis would probably get shot in a small town (like Provincetown is a mega-metropolis), and then clarifies her point by explaining, "It's not so much a
closed-minded view as it is just more
traditional". Like they're mutually exclusive. That's like saying, "Brocolli is not so much a vegetable as it is an edible plant". You know what else is "traditional", Clark? Lynching black people and burning witches. Those were quite popular traditions in America. But Clark is one of those cunning conservatives who only turn it on in the company of a kindred spirit. Hannah is not so lucky. They don't have tact in Alaska.
The girls are sent to one of those magic cabaret clubs usually reserved for displaying feats of awkward non-talent in unimaginative films where they are greated by the Jays, Nigel and Paulina. The task is to run around to the various rooms of the club and have a quick sit-down with the judges. It's sort of like watching speed-dating where nobody is drunk enough to at least get laid. Sharaun tells every judge that she
is America's Next Top Model (Paulina: "Oh, really?"). We know where this is headed already. Marjorie behaves as if the DEA are standing directly behind her. Joslyn and Miss Jay click immediately. McKey muses about beating the crap out of a photographer if he should propose sexual interaction, much to Paulina's dismay.
Photoshoot: The theme is voting. Kudos for team Tyra for expressing the importance of getting off your ass and voting. For real. Marjorie hits the bong to take the edge off and rocks the shoot. Clark doesn't know what bureaucracy is. Here's a hint: It's traditional. McKey resorts to boxing and pulls it through. Clark scoffs and proclaims McKey as "gone". Well, not so much
gone as just
no longer there. Yeah, I am going to milk this as much as possible. And?
Some girls taunt Isis from behind the set in an extremely immature way making fun of her and trying to intimidate her. Seriously, who was running that set? I would have expected Jay to rip them apart but apparently that is only saved for makeovers or being late. Really disappointing. Isis handles it well and performs extremely well. Sharaun doesn't know what "convoluted" means. *sigh* And after the shoot, Marjorie joneses about her insecurities again and braces herself for negative feedback based on...Jay's enthusiasm? I swear, every time she talks, I become more aware of my teeth.
"What can you expect from a bunch of seitan worshippers?" - Reginald Tresilian
Updated On: 10/7/08 at 09:01 PM
