Wow, everyone's going off to college...like here, and leaving me at home at comm. college...oh well, it's what I need.
I know it prob sounds weird me encouraging you guys about college, but realize my experience was very personal to me, and I still loved it there, so I feel I can still give advice and assurances :-P
It is 1 million percent normal to fear not making friends, EVERYONE does. But remember almost everyone's in your boat. The open-door policy is def excellent, that def goes on a lot, esp. in the beginning. You get to know ppl much quicker in college than you ever did, I mean, I made like 5, 6 life-long friends in just being there 6 weeks, pretty soon you'll feel as close to them as ppl you've known for years. Another good thing to keep in mind is wherever you are, there are a lot of ppl. In high school, not that I'm at all diminishing those friendships, I still love my HS friends dearly, but you are somewhat limited in your friends. I love my friends, but you know, they didn't care a lick about bway, etc. There are soo many diff. ppl in college to choose from or that you could be friends with, from roommates, suitemates, floormates, dormmates, ppl in classes, etc. Soo many ppl. It's very unlikley you're gonna have no friends.
Homesick/family missing obviously I could relate to. I think I suppressed it, which contributed to the breakdown. Don't feel guilty for being homesick, again, totally normal. don't try to force yourself to not call all the time or not to come home if you need to--like me pushing myself to not come home from Rosh Hashanah I now realize was a big mistake. The best advice I've given anyone is to accept whatever feelings you have and not to be ashamed. Sometimes the biggest mistake we make is analyzing our feelings, like wondering if there's something wrong w/ us if we're scared of weird things, or get in bad moods a lot, etc. It's just part of who you are. Besides, you really can't change anything until you accept it.
Gav--junior high--oy. Good luck. IMO, early adolescence is possibly the hardest time in one's life. But(did I mention I wanna be an adolescent psychologist? Again, if not totally obvious..) there are little things I can suggest to make it a tad easier..
BE YOURSELF. This is my motto on life and I think it's worth and this age-be an individual. In junior high, everyone tries soo hard to fit in that they lose themselves in the process, and all we're left with is 20 girls w/ the same outfit, hair, way of talking, likes, etc. It makes me sick. Just remember, even if it's not in your current junior high, there are people who will accept you for you, and those are the kinds of friends you want. If you are yourself, then you can accept yourself, and if you accept yourself, there's only so much peers can hurt you.
Accept that it's better to have no friends than bad friends--when you consider people "friends" that's when they hurt you the most. You share things with them that they use against you. There even are things esp. between girls that are abusive friendships--where one girl is constantly told to do something or the other girl won't be her friend, or the friend constantly makes fun of or puts the girl down, or says something like you know everyone thinks you're a geek but not me, I like you. My sister had a friendship like this, and years later, she was in an abusive relationship. I'm sure one led to the other. I used to be miserable if I thought a "friend" was mad at me but it took me years to learn they weren't worth it...the things I wish I could have known in 7th grade
And if you're a reader, I'd also recommend "Odd Girl Out: The Hidden Aggression In Girls" by Rachel Simmons-great book, discussing well...hidden agression of friends, discusses abusive friendships, ostracized girls, the bad reactions of parents, what causes mean girls to be mean, etc. Of course as someone who wants to study psychology of course I love it, but I think it's all around a good read, w/ lots of true stories in there.
I and I'm sure lots of your online pals are here if you ever need to talk! Just don't let PMSing girls and immature boys ruin what could be a great experience.
"If there was a Mount Rushmore for Broadway scores, "West Side Story" would be front and center. It snaps, it crackles it pops! It surges with a roar, its energy and sheer life undiminished by the years" - NYPost reviewer Elisabeth Vincentelli
Take it easy, Liz!
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