Paris Hilton Released from Prison — Page 2

#26

re: Paris Hilton Released from Prison

Posted: 6/7/07 at 11:20am

I stayed in the Paris Hilton when I was there.

It was new and big and wore underwear.

Can this be the LAST PH thread anywhere for the rest of all time? Can this stupid no-talent, half-wit be ignored from now on?

Or maybe its just me...?

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"If my life weren't funny, it would just be true. And that would be unacceptable." --Carrie Fisher

#27

re: Paris Hilton Released from Prison

Posted: 6/7/07 at 11:20am

now, it's who i like more - martha vs. paris? this is harder than when it's rosie vs. the donald. i never know who to root for!

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XING
PED

#28

re: Paris Hilton Released from Prison

Posted: 6/7/07 at 11:21am

Why don't we make it easy for you, Robb - we'll put them into a giant blender.

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Have I ever shown you my Shattered Dreams box? It's in my Disappointment Closet. - Marge Simpson

#29

re: Paris Hilton Released from Prison

Posted: 6/7/07 at 11:21am

She probably served more time than Scooter Libby will.

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(formerly bronte604) "You really just love money and power and capitalism? You know they're never going to love you back." "Things happen for the best...I don't even believe that myself."

#30

re: Paris Hilton Released from Prison

Posted: 6/7/07 at 11:23am

Free at last. Free at last. Thank God Almighty, she is free at last.

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'Take me out tonight where's there's music and there's people and they're young and alive.'

#31

re: Paris Hilton Released from Prison

Posted: 6/7/07 at 11:30am

Word has it that it is because she wasn't eating. I mean bologna sandwiches!! Really!! I had no idea they could be so inhumane....

#32

re: Paris Hilton Released from Prison

Posted: 6/7/07 at 11:40am

She is not free, y'all! She is still in jail. It's just at home, which is exactly the same. She will continue to suffer until the chunky anklet is removed and she is free to drink, drive, party, shop, flash her cootchie and have sex in front of cameras as she desires. Let us pray that her torture will end soon and that she will no longer be treated like a common criminal.

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"What can you expect from a bunch of seitan worshippers?" - Reginald Tresilian

#33

re: Paris Hilton Released from Prison

Posted: 6/7/07 at 11:40am

You guys are all worng. I mean she's going to be confined to a 200 room mansion with total access to everything she needs. That is hell.

And as far as Martha is concerned, she sooooooo got off easy. She was setting up book deals and arranging a new show while on house arrest. It was like a working vacation.

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....but the world goes 'round

#34

re: Paris Hilton Released from Prison

Posted: 6/7/07 at 11:40am

And Stewart's house ain't nothin' to sneeze at either, tazzy.

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Have I ever shown you my Shattered Dreams box? It's in my Disappointment Closet. - Marge Simpson

#35

re: Paris Hilton Released from Prison

Posted: 6/7/07 at 11:46am

"She will continue to suffer until the chunky anklet is removed..."

umm, matt, that "chunky anklet" has a name. it's nicole richie.

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XING
PED

#36

re: Paris Hilton Released from Prison

Posted: 6/7/07 at 11:57am

My favourite line from the police report"

"It is expected that Ms. Hilton will complete 100% of her 45-day sentence. That equates to 23 days in custody, as every inmate is given good time/work time credits."

Uhm... last time I checked, 100% of 45 days is still 45 days. And insofar as "good time/work time credits", we *are* talking about Paris here, right? The only time this woman could get a work time credit would be by showing someone a good time.

Oh wait... just figured it out...

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http://docandraider.com

#37

re: Paris Hilton Released from Prison

Posted: 6/7/07 at 12:01pm

hush, you. it's that new math everyone has been promising us since the 70s.

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XING
PED

#38

re: Paris Hilton Released from Prison

Posted: 6/7/07 at 12:04pm

I wonder is she got the "broomstick in her pische" treatment.

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"Oh Link...your pork is ready..." - Edna Turnblad

#39

re: Paris Hilton Released from Prison

Posted: 6/7/07 at 12:05pm

and no pillow Robbo....poor thing had no pillow

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It is ridiculous to set a detective story in New York City. New York City is itself a detective story... AGATHA CHRISTIE, Life magazine, May 14, 1956

#40

re: Paris Hilton Released from Prison

Posted: 6/7/07 at 12:05pm

'And as far as Martha is concerned, she sooooooo got off easy. She was setting up book deals and arranging a new show while on house arrest. It was like a working vacation.'

Except for the fact that she actually served the entirety of her five month prison term before being under house arrest. There is NO correlation here.

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"I'm so looking forward to a time when all the Reagan Democrats are dead."

#41

re: Paris Hilton Released from Prison

Posted: 6/7/07 at 12:07pm

guess who gave her the rash:

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"Carson has combined his passion for helping children with his love for one of Cincinnati's favorite past times - cornhole - to create a unique and exciting event perfect for a corporate outing, entertaining clients or family fun."

"In Oz, the verb is douchifizzation." PRS

#42

re: Paris Hilton Released from Prison

Posted: 6/7/07 at 12:13pm

Robbiej, thanks for enlightening some about Martha. She definitely did not get off easy.

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Hey Dottie! Did your colleagues enjoy the cake even though your cat decided to sit on it? ~GuyfromGermany

#43

re: Paris Hilton Released from Prison

Posted: 6/7/07 at 12:21pm

Not only that...but the woman at least has done something in her life. She created an empire. She may be a lot of things, but she has worked very, very hard to get where she is. Ms. Hilton, on the other hand, is an embarrassing media whore who has no discernible talents. She seems to be of absolutely no use to the world or humanity, other than as tabloid fodder.

The only thing these two have in common is blond hair.

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"I'm so looking forward to a time when all the Reagan Democrats are dead."

#44

re: Paris Hilton Released from Prison

Posted: 6/7/07 at 12:49pm

Please. Like tazber said if I had a house like that with as much power as she seems to have...well put me under house arrest and throw away the key.

LYK OMG IT HAS 2B SO HARD!

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"You know, with the right volume, Patti LuPone can make a car bounce, too...." -Wonderwaiter

#45

re: Paris Hilton Released from Prison

Posted: 6/7/07 at 1:06pm

Sheriff's Union Pissed at Hilton Release

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"Smart! And into all those exotic mystiques -- The Kama Sutra and Chinese techniques. I hear she knows more than seventy-five. Call me tomorrow if you're still alive!"

#46

re: Paris Hilton Released from Prison

Posted: 6/7/07 at 1:06pm

And there you have it ... money CAN buy everything.

Updated On: 6/7/07 at 01:06 PM

#47

re: Paris Hilton Released from Prison

Posted: 6/7/07 at 1:17pm

All this talk of getting off easy is making me want to do naughty things to m'self.

I just wonder if Paris will use this enforced agoraphobia to get her GED. You known, enroll at the Huntington Learning Center or some such and buckle down and hit those darn books. When I have insomnia, and getting off easy isn't an option, I fret so over her lack of a high school diploma.

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"I'm a comedian, but in my spare time, things bother me." Garry Shandling

#48

re: Paris Hilton Released from Prison

Posted: 6/7/07 at 1:22pm

Except, of course, Martha was sentenced to five months and served five months before her home-portion part of her sentence. Say whatever you want, but the b*tch did her time.

word. (sorry- I just had to see that again, in its entirety.)

Can't believe being a spoiled c u next tuesday who is too good to eat jail food when, you know, IN JAIL, can get a get out of jail free card for 'medical reasons'...although, I do have to say that I am curious to see pics of how she bedazzles (oh- my bad- Swavorski Crystals) her ankle bracelet.

Updated On: 6/7/07 at 01:22 PM

#49

re: Paris Hilton Released from Prison

Posted: 6/7/07 at 1:31pm

This just in: Her condition was psychological...she was on the verge of a breakdown! (see link below) Well, now it makes sense! Prisoners who can't cope with being in jail need to be let out! Jails are not used to "breakdowns" and people being upset and crying in there!
LINK

#50

re: Paris Hilton Released from Prison

Posted: 6/7/07 at 1:37pm

Yeah, I probably couldn't cope with being in jail either, that's why I try not to drive drunk when already on probation for driving drunk, and then proceed to lie to the arresting officer about how I don't know that I'm not supposed to be driving when the document I signed stating so is in the glove box of the car I'm driving, and then show up to court late, and bring along my family who insults the judge. So far that has kept me out of jail- knock wood.

Hopefully the sheriff will get recalled in the next election due to this outrageous special treatment, or something. But I know that probably won't happen.