Raising Tween Girls, HELP!- Page 2

[liotte]

Posted: 10/13/05 at 11:43pm

You should bring her to a salon that has a straightening system, they work really well and last awhile. Your daughter might be happy with that.

[shira467]

Posted: 10/13/05 at 11:45pm

I think 12 is a bit young for that...especially if she has gorgeous hair the way it is...

She'll get through it the same way I did.

With tears and an iron.

[brdlwyr]

Posted: 10/13/05 at 11:46pm

L - Interesting, the issue started because she washed out the salon hair cut from Tuesday.

[liotte]

Posted: 10/13/05 at 11:49pm

Salons do a great jo of blowdrying hair, and it's so hard to do yourself at home.

Those straightening perms are wonderful.

[shira467]

Posted: 10/13/05 at 11:52pm

I always hate washing my hair after the salon.

[orangeskittles]

Posted: 10/14/05 at 12:03am

I know. One time, I told my stylist I didn't want her to blow dry my hair because I would be too depressed that I couldn't have my hair look that good until I got my hair cut again.

[CostumeMistress]

Posted: 10/14/05 at 1:49am

Liotte, my aunt FRIED her hair with a straightening perm. I wouldn't do it to a 12-year-old.

And, brdlwyr, what can you do with a 12-year-old girl? Reassure her that she is beautiful. A lot. Girls never hear this enough, especially with all the pressure in society to have a perfect body, perfect hair, perfect skin, etc. Tell her how pretty her smile is, how she's growing more womanly and lovely every day, how lucky any guy would be to even have her look his way... in some form. Compliments from Daddy resonate in a girl's heart the way nothing else can.

[JayKid]

Posted: 10/14/05 at 2:02am

I'm not a girl so can't help, do remember being that young... tho that still doesn't help lol. I just felt like reading through though.

Lots of good advice was given, just leave her hair be, she needs to know it's beautiful regardless.

I actually almost throw a fit at 17 years old when I was pissed because my hair was too curly. However, it was jokingly though cuz I didn't really care. It used to be straightish and than got wavy/curly, like my moms, cept brown rather than blonde.

Haha, I was like damn it... it's all your fault! It's too curly too try to make straight/wavish and not even curly enough to really be curly either! It's right in the middle and it sucks! It was pretty funny, i realized not combing it made it curlier so I did that if I grew it long, but now it's short enough to not curl, so that's good too.

Hair really isn't a huge deal. Seriously, as a guy, I've never been attracted or not attracted to a girl cuz of her hair (well unless it smelled REALLY good). Just have her wash it and be clean and neat about it, and it won't matter.

She'll realize it's not a big deal at some point. You always care about how you look more than anyone else will ever care.

[shira467]

Posted: 10/14/05 at 2:21am

I know you're not a girl, BUT...

Hair will ALWAYS be a big deal.

Girls, who's with me on this one?

[JayKid]

Posted: 10/14/05 at 2:39am

Well, to you it might be for some crazy reason, but it's not to guys.

Seriously... the majority of us could care less. We have no idea if it took you 10 minutes or 3 hours to do your hair, or if you got a haircut or did this or that. We can't see the difference and it hardly effects whether or not we are attracted.

Keep it clean, smelling good and neat (although the just got out of bed thing can be sexy lol).

All these crazy things you guys do to your hair means nothing to guys, or at least myself and many guys I know. I think a girl is beautiful regardless of what she does to her hair really...

[shira467]

Posted: 10/14/05 at 2:42am

How sweet!

See, us girls...we dress up and fret over everything as much for ourselves and other girls as we do for men.

You boys may think its for you...but its all about being prettier than the other girls. Subconsciously, that is.

When I freak over my hair these days, its for myself. Boys think I look nice, girls say I do too, but I want it perfect for me.

[orangeskittles]

Posted: 10/14/05 at 2:54am

I definitely agree, shira. Guys don't get it- it's never about them, it's all about the competition between girls.

[shira467]

Posted: 10/14/05 at 2:56am

It's a bit sad, isn't it?

I have to find a picture...my mother took it of my hair at a Bat Mitzvah.

I was just playing around with roses and so it's my curly blonde hair and roses. She used it as a page for me in my senior yearbook.

[JayKid]

Posted: 10/14/05 at 3:03am

I realize you do it for yourself and to look better than other girls... but in the end, it's for the opposite sex. (or same for some).

It's the same for guys as well really.

But really, the thing I'm getting at is that hair is a little part of how you look. What you do at least. Your body as a whole, your face, hair color, etc is what matters. The main features... the way you do your hair or if it's straight/curly, or whatever else you do is going to be terribly noticed.

I just think as long has nice hair cut, and leaves the rest natural, they look good. I dunno, just my position on it. I think a girl looks great with or without all the effort.

However, if I notice a girl does do something to her hair and think it took a long time, I'll say it looks good, etc. Just cuz I know they put effort into it. Even if I really don't think it makes them look more pretty than they are already.

That's enough of that... you've had enough of my cents.

[shira467]

Posted: 10/14/05 at 3:05am

But you know, it's like it's been said..

It's always nice to know if you think we're pretty.

[liotte]

Posted: 10/14/05 at 8:06am

I find it interesting that so many people said to leave her hair alone. I think that's a good idea, but am so used to growing up in an area and now working with kids in NYC who are spoiled and get straightening perms and highlights and nosejobs, etc when they are young children, that it doesn't even occur to me that not everyone lives like that.

JayKid, hair is always important to a female, no matter how old. And whether 12, 25, 40, or 95, all women like compliments, especially on their hair and when they look nice. And I agree, most of the dressing up and trying to look good is competing against other women, not necessarily to impress a guy.

[ashley0139]

Posted: 10/14/05 at 10:00am

I'm hardly a tween, but I still battle with my hair every day. Although I have the opposite problem. My hair is very very fine and straight as a pin. It has no body, no form. It's a challenge to make it look like it is doing something, and it wouldn't hold a curl to save my life. Usually, I just throw it up in a ponytail and don't worry about it.

[SonofMammaMiaSam]

Posted: 10/14/05 at 10:07am

Isn't it cute that Bway thinks that HE IS RAISING the tweens?

[Rathnait62]

Posted: 10/14/05 at 10:07am

I actually have dreams about my hair coming out perfectly. No lie. That's just how girls are.

[brdlwyr]

Posted: 10/14/05 at 10:13am

Hair update, after having her mother blow it dry and strighten it with an iron this morning, she still wanted to put it in pony tail, she did not! It is spirit day at school and apparently the pep rally is viwed as prom by C12!

[TheaterBaby]

Posted: 10/14/05 at 10:55am

She can shave her head bald and be a trend-setter.

I always wanted curly hair.

The only hair crisis I ever had was when I accidently dyed my hair orange. Oh, and one other time (the first time my hair was ever dyed), I had it done by a professional. I asked for some hightlights in my brown hair and she turned me Ashy-Blonde. I cried.

[Rathnait62]

Posted: 10/14/05 at 10:56am

brd, a straight ponytail is beautiful and something to be envied. I don't blame her at all!

Updated On: 10/14/05 at 10:56 AM

[TheaterBaby]

Posted: 10/14/05 at 11:09am

And remember, a ponytail is NOT a gearshift.

[shira467]

Posted: 10/14/05 at 12:03pm

I love straight ponytails!

[RobbO]

Posted: 10/14/05 at 12:18pm

brdlwyr, you're the best dad ever! a "hug and a plan for tomorrow" was the perfect way to go. i'm envious of your girls.