Raising Tween Girls, HELP!- Page 4

[liotte]

Posted: 10/15/05 at 10:22am

brdlwyr, I have 3 sisters. We are all now 26, 18, 15, and 13. You can call my dad if you need someone to talk to!

[KelRel]

Posted: 10/15/05 at 10:25am

brdlwyr, Some more advice, this time froma girl who just left that whole love hate relationship with her father a few years ago. My father used to drive me insane. I hated him, he was over bearing, controlling, impossible to please, etc... High school was hell when it came to me and my father. I would do everything I could to avoid being near him. It finally all blew up one day when I told him that I had had enough and that I was moving out because if I was to be able to have a good relationship with him I was going to ahve to get the hell away from him. It was so hard to tell him that, but it was the best thing that ever happened to us. Now we get along great, almost like we did when I was a little girl (I was a big daddy's girl). He respects that I am an adult and I respect that he is my father and is alot older and wiser han I am. No matter how hard things get, and they will get tough I'm sure, it will all work out in the end. Looking back I appreciate all the times that my dad was super strict. It kept me alot safer than I even considered it did as a teenager.

[brdlwyr]

Posted: 10/15/05 at 12:17pm

Thanks to all, there will be more help needed I am sure. They are lobbying for their friend to sleep over, which we call no sleep overs.

[SweetQintheLights]

Posted: 10/15/05 at 12:53pm

Oh- PULEASE!
No talk about hair around me.

I am 21- I've struggled with my hair more than anyone can imagine. I have the most frizzy, curly, thick hair! I'd die for poker straight thinner hair.

Honestly- I don't care for highlights- my hair is dark brown and that is perfectly fine with me.

I wear it in a tight ponytail everyday with a whole lot of gel in it to keep it semi-non- frizzy. My parents and all my family members yell at me because 'my hairline is receding at such a young age'
I've spent hours and hours and hours and hours sraightening my hair to end up putting it up in a da*n ponytail. One day- a few years ago I remember throwing the straightener on the ground cracking it and crying that I am gonna shave my head. I didn't sleep all night because I was soo frustrated. The next morning I tried gluing the straightener back together *smart one- right?* and I refused to go to school because my hair wasn't perfect.

I want the straightening thing done but I can't even fathom spending $600+ to have it done and then it not look perfect and end up wearing it in a ponytail.

I. GIVE. UP.

[brdlwyr]

Posted: 10/16/05 at 12:00am

Not a bad day, waiting for C10 to come home from a football game with friends! Updated On: 10/16/05 at 12:00 AM

[Penny4Eyes]

Posted: 10/16/05 at 10:41am

ones a boy and ones a girl? my sister meaghan, when we go to sunday school, she goes to the bathroom when were going to have to stand up for a long time then comes back with a completely different hair style!
my hair is really long, brown thick and wavy and all i can do is put it in braids, a bun, or ponytail. when i was ten i remember throwing fits about how i looked...hehe i dont think i do anymore. i worry about my clothes really, thats all. well good luck brd!
im JUST a teen fresh out of the oven at age 13...

[brdlwyr]

Posted: 10/29/05 at 6:54pm

Halloween emergency. The two newly purchased cotumes and other possibilities for C12 as she prepares for her first dance. I am well aware that the costume is only a symbol for her tween feelings.

[CostumeMistress]

Posted: 10/29/05 at 7:22pm

What is the costume?

[Bluemoon]

Posted: 10/29/05 at 7:58pm

Are the costumes for the dance? What does she want to be? What does she REALLY want to be?

[brdlwyr]

Posted: 10/29/05 at 9:03pm

She decided on the devil because she found a red shirt that would work. I am leaving out much more drama. She was dropped of and very happy, so more info.

I remember my first dance in fifth grade - listening to Chicago songs.

[Bluemoon]

Posted: 10/29/05 at 9:06pm

Glad all went well.

You've only just begun.......

[Rathnait62]

Posted: 10/29/05 at 9:06pm

I'm guessing you mean Chicago the pop/jazz group, not CHICAGO the musical. Unless you went to a really gay school.

[CostumeMistress]

Posted: 10/29/05 at 9:25pm

She's going as the devil? I'm going as a cup of Starbucks coffee, so she and I would match.

[brdlwyr]

Posted: 10/30/05 at 1:09am

Rath - that is hilarious. Chicago the pop band from the 70's.

The word here is that the dance was fun!

[brdlwyr]

Posted: 11/4/05 at 11:45pm

Trying to learn, tonight I did not raise my voice and gave C12 a chance to vent and the tantrum was over. And, then we watched the most stupid movie - Bewitched.

[SweetQintheLights]

Posted: 11/5/05 at 10:24am

brdlwyr -

I'm a bit confused but who is C12? Is that like a secret name for your daughter?

[Bluemoon]

Posted: 11/5/05 at 11:01am

Sweet - we don't identify our kids by name on the message boards. Security and privacy issues, you know. Brd has several Cs (children), identified by age. I have a C21 myself.

[Rathnait62]

Posted: 11/5/05 at 11:04am

Don't forget your C43...

[Bluemoon]

Posted: 11/5/05 at 11:07am

I KNEW you'd say that! Finish your oatmeal.

[Rathnait62]

Posted: 11/5/05 at 11:09am

You know me so well, Mama Bear.

[brdlwyr]

Posted: 11/5/05 at 11:50am

Bluemoon - how were the teen years for C21 (I think she posts here, so you can lie if necessary.)

[DramaDork925]

Posted: 11/5/05 at 12:01pm

The only thing I can say is, tween girls are the most paranoid, neurotic, dramatic group of people on the planet. Just wait it out and remember that you have to set limits but don't go crazy. I'm a really good kid b/c my mom set rules but didn't set stupid rules just so they were there. And I appreciate it now.

[brdlwyr]

Posted: 11/5/05 at 12:04pm

C10 and I are working on a newsletter for Reading class using Microsoft Word, what a diference 28 years makes in how home work is completed.

[Bluemoon]

Posted: 11/5/05 at 12:22pm

Brd - It was a rollercoaster ride - lots of highs, then lots of free-falls. Teen girls have a secret inner life that parents aren't privy to. Their hidden agendas and hormone levels make life hard to predict and/or fathom. I distinctly remember driving her someplace her Sophomore year and innocently reminding her of something minor (can't even recall what it was now). Out of the blue, she blew up up and screamed "Stop it! Just stop it! Don't you understand you're ruining my life!". She slammed the car door and left me sitting there wondering what the hell had just happened. I'm still wondering to this day and she doesn't remember it. She's such a good person though, she stopped by my office later that day and apologized.

The REAL battles were saved for her (sorry about this) father. They went 10 rounds every other day. We all look back on it now with a very weak smile. The good news is that are very good friends today and she calls him from school often to vent/comiserate/share. She calls me for money.

One thing we learned - AFTER she left for college is that men often use a tone and level of volume that is identified by fenales as "yellling" but identified by other males as "strong". My husband said I should tell you about this and he's looking up the link for the supporting article. I'll PM it to you when he gets it. It was a real eye-opener for him to see how C21 and I both experienced him as opposed to how he perceived himself. When we sent it to C21 she said, "YES! That's exactly what I was reacting to when I was a kid and teen." Too wise too late.

Sigh. Why don't kids come with an owner's manual?

[Rathnait62]

Posted: 11/5/05 at 12:22pm

I was the easy daughter.