Roland Emerich's parody twitter acct is hilarious — Page 2

I've been talked into seeing this with a friend tonight who is insisting that we must see it to be able to trash it with specificity. Luckily, he's cute. Maybe I'll just hatef*ck him after.

I've sneaked into exactly one movie my entire life (in college) and I still feel pangs of guilt. The Catholicism is strong with this one.

That's, um, that's not how math works, Steve.

Well, since you asked...

I've never flipped the bird at a movie screen before. I never just shouted out, 'Oh F*CK YOU!' at a character on a screen before. I never spent an entire movie slapping the person next to me for suggesting we sit through this.

This is a special kind of bad. It's bad on every level. Everyone over the age of 30 in this film looks like a villain in a 70's horror flick. The acting is aggressively terrible. Like my Catholic high school's production of The Diary of Anne Frank terrible (let the record show I was IN that production and I was, in fact, terrible). The writing is such that you'd think Robbie Baitz was just typing while in a fugue state. If only Roland Emerich brought in aliens. Or the Mayans. Or the wolves from The Day After Tomorrow.

I'm not one to throw the phrase, 'check your privilege' around, but GIRL CHECK IT. Somehow the police were benevolent and really cared about the homo street kids. Somehow, someone thought it was ok to have the corn-fed boy say to the sassy, femme (but very attractive) latino 'You KNOW I can't love you.' Oh really? We know it? There was a scene involving a man dressed as Edith Massey trying to give our 'hero' a blowjob that was so F*CKing bizarre that the Black Guy in a Jockstrap scene from Cruising seems like the height of dramaturgy in comparison. Holy F*CKing F*CK was this bad. The politics on The Boys in the Band were more progressive. But I'm glad I saw it. I'm glad I witnessed the terribleness for myself so that when I kick Roland Emerich in the nuts, I'll be able to justify it in a court of law.

SonofRobbieJ said: "I've never flipped the bird at a movie screen before. I never just shouted out, 'Oh F*CK YOU!' at a character on a screen before. I never spent an entire movie slapping the person next to me for suggesting we sit through this.

This is a special kind of bad. It's bad on every level. Everyone over the age of 30 in this film looks like a villain in a 70's horror flick. The acting is aggressively terrible. Like my Catholic high school's production of The Diary of Anne Frank terrible (let the record show I was IN that production and I was, in fact, terrible). The writing is such that you'd think Robbie Baitz was just typing while in a fugue state. If only Roland Emerich brought in aliens. Or the Mayans. Or the wolves from The Day After Tomorrow.

I'm not one to throw the phrase, 'check your privilege' around, but GIRL CHECK IT. Somehow the police were benevolent and really cared about the homo street kids. Somehow, someone thought it was ok to have the corn-fed boy say to the sassy, femme (but very attractive) latino 'You KNOW I can't love you.' Oh really? We know it? There was a scene involving a man dressed as Edith Massey trying to give our 'hero' a blowjob that was so F*CKing bizarre that the Black Guy in a Jockstrap scene from Cruising seems like the height of dramaturgy in comparison. Holy F*CKing F*CK was this bad. The politics on The Boys in the Band were more progressive. But I'm glad I saw it. I'm glad I witnessed the terribleness for myself so that when I kick Roland Emerich in the nuts, I'll be able to justify it in a court of law.

My favorite post of the day if not the entire year. It's just brilliant!

Alas, no. But he did pay for drinks afterward, so it was still a win.