Survivor: South Pacific (With new twists on Redemption Island) — Page 5

What the hell was that last night? Survivor: Second Baptist? The Jesus tribe may be winning challenges, but they are in for a rude awakening when they get called out on all their Christian hypocrisy. I loved how whatserface noticed Coach's "prayers" to find the immunity idol as complete and total lies. Can't wait to see how Hantz Jr. reacts to that news! And the praying, praying and more praying. If they think God is about giving strength to those who participate in game shows, then give me the address to that church. I'm hoping to score on Who Wants to Be a Millionaire when I visit Los Angeles.

And WHAT is UP with Coach's individual PRAYERS?!?! His mantra is "I am not worthy"? If that's what you believe (I happen to believe you're not worthy as well, but that's beside the point), then WHY ARE YOU PRAYING?!?! Just when I thought Coach was finally getting to the point of becoming tolerable, he goes back to being a nincompoop jackass again.

And thank you Ozzy for giving us hope that Christine may kick your ass on Redemption and we won't have to watch you any further. I really don't want to see how you may behave should your plan work. You're insufferable enough as it is.

Oh, and all this sanctimonious BS about how Redemption Island should be about "redeeming oneself" and proving one's "worth" to the tribe is quite possibly the STUPIDEST rhetoric I've ever heard on this show. It's one thing for Probst to say it because he has to, but these are people you voted out. They no longer feel obligated to prove themselves FOR THEIR TRIBE. Had they thought about that and been paying attention to the attitudes of everyone who has competed thus far on Redemption Island, maybe they could have focused on the fact that Christine is unhappy with her tribe and that her tribe may not be happy to see her back. DUH!

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Updated On: 10/27/11 at 11:44 AM

We can always pray, SOMMS.

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Neither is Ozzy. I, however, am totally worthy, so I've got your back.

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Father God, please give Mr. Matt the strength to conquer evil, Father God, and solve the puzzle, Father God. And, Father God, show Ozzy the light as his buff burns in the eternal damnation that is elimination. All praise and glory be yours, Father God.

I really think that Ozzy's plan is going to backfire on him. I don't think the merge is coming up on the next episode. He's probably going to go home next week.

Any player who doesn't know after 20+ seasons that Mark Burnette and Jeff Probst WILL change the merge timing just to f*ck with them, deserves to go home.

If, God forbid and he shall because I am worthy, Ozzy should return, I hope Cochran keeps the idol. Ozzy's hissy fits cause his way more harm than good.

There are people I know who are always talking about how they are not worthy of anything (but God loves them and gives them things anyway) and how they need to be "broken" by God and remade and stuff.

Somehow, I think God, being omniscient and omnipotent and omni magazine and all, can probably see through the egotistical passive-aggressive attention-seeking crap. God helps those who help themselves, not those who whine and just want to be coddled and get free stuff for acting like a total poser tool. Amazing Grace is a song, not scripture. I swear to God, I should be a pastor. And God would probably agree. Why? Because I am worthy.

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Updated On: 10/27/11 at 03:06 PM

Oh, I know. I just felt like pontificating more on the ridiculousness of it all. In high school marching band, we always had a prayer led by the student Chaplain before every game and every competition. At the actual game, there was always a prayer broadcast over the loudspeakers just before the playing of the national anthem. I remember how weird and uncomfortable it made me feel back then that so many people just assumed everyone was Christian and that God really appreciated it.

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Calvin, I thought the same thing. Just when you think it can't get any worse, in stumbles Katie Holmes!

This setup is too good to be true. Why would Pigtails, I mean Ozzy, leave the idol with the Cockran? He has not been aligned with him, or even trusted him, and has much stronger allies. It makes no sense. I'd name the one he shouldve left it with, but I dont remember anyone's names except the 4 they always show talking. I swear they shouldn't bother with names at all anymore.

I have to say that I'm not minding the redemption island as much as I thought I would, but I didnt watch last season when y'all were hating it so much. It only takes up about 5 minutes of the show, which I'd rather they have a luxury challenge, but it's not as distracting as I thought it'd be...it just so unnecessary.

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What is this, Jesus Week on reality TV?

First Amazing Race, now Survivor. It's completely nauseating.

And did Pastor Coach or Acolyte Hantz ever bother to think about if any of their tribemates ("family" as they call them) were even Christians and might be uncomfortable by the nature of the prayers?

It is ridiculous for Team Ozzy to be surprised/upset with Cochran for flipping on them after they spent the first half of the game constantly belittling him. If they'd been really serious about keeping him on their side they should have given him the immunity idol. And I'm very, very annoyed that Brandon said exactly what I was thinking.