The houseguest that FINALLY FREAKIN' LEFT! WOOOT!- Page 25
The houseguest that FINALLY FREAKIN' LEFT! WOOOT!
nomdeplume
Broadway Legend Joined: 6/20/05
#600re: The houseguest that won't leave! A LONG rant.
Posted: 9/21/06 at 10:27pm
Tell her you like the ribs lean.
Then sort of lap your tongue and smack your lips.
#601re: The houseguest that won't leave! A LONG rant.
Posted: 9/21/06 at 10:34pm
Leave jars of this by the bathtub and tell her it is wonderful to soak in.
"All the while making faces like a baby platypus who forget to take some Beano before eating a chimichanga." FindingNamo in reference to Jessica Simpson's singing.
#602re: The houseguest that won't leave! A LONG rant.
Posted: 9/21/06 at 10:34pmOOh an don't forget to break the ribs to suck the marrow out.
My avatar is a reminder to myself. I need lots of reminders...
#603re: The houseguest that won't leave! A LONG rant.
Posted: 9/21/06 at 10:35pmWell, now I feel a little sick.
Pretty pretty please don't you ever ever feel like you're less than f**ckin' perfect!
nomdeplume
Broadway Legend Joined: 6/20/05
#604re: The houseguest that won't leave! A LONG rant.
Posted: 9/21/06 at 10:35pm
It's just I know so much anthropology, KelRel.
The Polynesians would insult their enemies before battle by telling them they were going to eat their bones. Of course with them, when they won, they did. They believed by munching up their enemies they would gain their spiritual power, or mana.
Personally, I'd prefer fruit salad.
But it's good to know these things if you MUST engage in psychological warfare for survival.
An' li' dat. [Trns - "And like that." - for you non-Hawaiians]
#605re: The houseguest that won't leave! A LONG rant.
Posted: 9/21/06 at 10:37pmYeah, but does Jersey want the spiritual power of a leech from Georgia named Nanny Tang?
"All the while making faces like a baby platypus who forget to take some Beano before eating a chimichanga." FindingNamo in reference to Jessica Simpson's singing.
#606re: The houseguest that won't leave! A LONG rant.
Posted: 9/21/06 at 10:37pmI say run downstairs and start chanting in some unknown tongue, and when she asks what you are doing tell her you saw a demon run down the stairs. Proceed to tell her you were given the gift of ability to see normally invisible evil and need to do a ritual on her to make sure the demon has not possessed her.
My avatar is a reminder to myself. I need lots of reminders...
nomdeplume
Broadway Legend Joined: 6/20/05
#607re: The houseguest that won't leave! A LONG rant.
Posted: 9/21/06 at 10:38pm
Exactly.
Now you guys are on the right track to fight a leech.
#608re: The houseguest that won't leave! A LONG rant.
Posted: 9/21/06 at 10:40pmWhy not fight a leech with leeches? Put them in her bed and let mooch off her for a bit? If she asks why they were there tell her the voices made you do it. Then offer her a bit of your baby ribs..I mean baby back ribs.
"All the while making faces like a baby platypus who forget to take some Beano before eating a chimichanga." FindingNamo in reference to Jessica Simpson's singing.
nomdeplume
Broadway Legend Joined: 6/20/05
#609re: The houseguest that won't leave! A LONG rant.
Posted: 9/21/06 at 10:40pm
I don't think the Polynesians were that fussy about whose mana it was.
Still, I am not advocating eating her. I mean think of the cooties.
I just think if she feels she is not going to be on easy street there, she may decide her buns are worth saving and take a hike.
#610re: The houseguest that won't leave! A LONG rant.
Posted: 9/21/06 at 10:42pmKel, her official title - so as to fit the Callaway/Amato-penned theme song, is The Nanny Named Tang.
Have I ever shown you my Shattered Dreams box? It's in my Disappointment Closet. - Marge Simpson
#611re: The houseguest that won't leave! A LONG rant.
Posted: 9/21/06 at 10:42pmWell, now she thinks I am nuts. I have been laughing outloud reading all of this.
Pretty pretty please don't you ever ever feel like you're less than f**ckin' perfect!
nomdeplume
Broadway Legend Joined: 6/20/05
#612re: The houseguest that won't leave! A LONG rant.
Posted: 9/21/06 at 10:43pm
Have you considered taking up a musical instrument that you do not play well?
Violin?
Drums?
Cymbals?
#613re: The houseguest that won't leave! A LONG rant.
Posted: 9/21/06 at 10:44pmYou're on your way to starting the steps we have already laid out for you Jersey. Just keep it up. I found a site with over 500 ways to annoy your roomate if you like I can post it for you.
"All the while making faces like a baby platypus who forget to take some Beano before eating a chimichanga." FindingNamo in reference to Jessica Simpson's singing.
Broadway Legend Joined: 12/31/69
#614re: The houseguest that won't leave! A LONG rant.
Posted: 9/21/06 at 10:44pm
i think you should put the house up for sale.
that'll learn her!!!
nomdeplume
Broadway Legend Joined: 6/20/05
#615re: The houseguest that won't leave! A LONG rant.
Posted: 9/21/06 at 10:44pm
Can you manage to make your laughter maniacal?
Low and mean?
Snarly and raspy?
nomdeplume
Broadway Legend Joined: 6/20/05
#616re: The houseguest that won't leave! A LONG rant.
Posted: 9/21/06 at 10:46pm
Have you considered taking up drooling at present?
Perhaps letting one eye go wall-eye?
#617re: The houseguest that won't leave! A LONG rant.
Posted: 9/21/06 at 10:46pmI think they should just give her the house and move out themselves. It wouldn't be out of character for them.
Salve, Regina, Mater misericordiae
Vita, dulcedo, et spes nostra
Salve, Salve Regina
Ad te clamamus exsules filii Eva
Ad te suspiramus, gementes et flentes
O clemens O pia
Vita, dulcedo, et spes nostra
Salve, Salve Regina
Ad te clamamus exsules filii Eva
Ad te suspiramus, gementes et flentes
O clemens O pia
#618re: The houseguest that won't leave! A LONG rant.
Posted: 9/21/06 at 10:46pm
She keeps coming upstairs to see if the desktop computer miraculously repaired itself. The folks are gonna be LIVID! 
Pretty pretty please don't you ever ever feel like you're less than f**ckin' perfect!
#619re: The houseguest that won't leave! A LONG rant.
Posted: 9/21/06 at 10:47pmhttp://www.askmen.com/fashion/how_to_250/278b_how_to.html
My avatar is a reminder to myself. I need lots of reminders...
#620re: The houseguest that won't leave! A LONG rant.
Posted: 9/21/06 at 10:47pmYeah. They might make her wait an extra five minutes for breakfast.
Have I ever shown you my Shattered Dreams box? It's in my Disappointment Closet. - Marge Simpson
nomdeplume
Broadway Legend Joined: 6/20/05
#621re: The houseguest that won't leave! A LONG rant.
Posted: 9/21/06 at 10:47pmMake sure you somehow sweetly let them know it was her.
#622re: The houseguest that won't leave! A LONG rant.
Posted: 9/21/06 at 10:49pmI think it isn't beyond them to tell her to go to the library if she wants to use the internet. Then again, depending on distance you would have to drive her. I think you and the parents really need to just confront her and let her know you are pissed at her taking advantage of you.
My avatar is a reminder to myself. I need lots of reminders...
#623re: The houseguest that won't leave! A LONG rant.
Posted: 9/21/06 at 10:50pm
http://www.thefamilycorner.com/family/kids/crafts/9_musical_instruments.shtml
Check that out for fun ways to entertain yourself and annoy her. You can get the kid involved too!
"All the while making faces like a baby platypus who forget to take some Beano before eating a chimichanga." FindingNamo in reference to Jessica Simpson's singing.
nomdeplume
Broadway Legend Joined: 6/20/05
#624re: The houseguest that won't leave! A LONG rant.
Posted: 9/21/06 at 10:51pmYou could let the words "It's not working" become your new mantra for every general thing until the owners start saying it and they have a flash of insightful brilliance that they can apply those words to the situation and speak them aloud to the intruder.
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