U2 Tour Dates - Now Official! — Page 170

That sounds fab, Mabs! Gah, to live in Manhattan.

And who needs education when you've got $40m, Tiff?

Now, now it's not that the crowds SUCKED, per se. They just weren't up to Nic and my high standards. We hated those people who dared to sit down and roll their eyes during Miracle Drug. And it GALLED us that people cringe during Bono/MJB's One and thought Bono was a senile old biddy when he was rambling about spacemans and Edge as the kung-fu future.


Oh, wait. That was us, you say?





How do we feel about Bono and MJB duetting on One? Hmm...well, I can't speak for Nic, but my initial reaction was...it smells like a fart after too much Mexican food. Seriously, if you listen to the clip, it's like nails on an untuned chalkboard.

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Nah, in all seriousness, the crowds were pretty awesome. I've barely any decent pictures because most of them were blurry. Not just because the band was moving so much, but because the floor was literally SHAKING with people cheering, jumping, etc. But if it makes you feel any better, then yes, Ellie, the crowds sucked, and the concert would've been infinitely better if you'd have been there.

When DOES the DVD come out? And is Bono's Rolling Stone on stands yet? We've still got Paul McCartney up here and it's killing me.

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Where did I get the idea that you thought the crowds sucked then?

Probably because Nic and I were bitching about: a) the epileptic ostrich; b) the drunken nurses and armpit arm-up guy; c) the quiet guy who was the antithesis of the epileptic ostrich; d) the loser crowds on 10/10 who didn't keep singing at the end of "40".

But aside from them, the crowds were GREAT!

And before this conversation dries up faster than baby powder on your coochie, how are YOU today, dear?

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Oh my GOD! That IS embarrassing! I don't know what's worse - that, or when a girl addressed me as "Auntie" when I was an immigration officer. And she was, like, 16.

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Pretty craptastic. Apparently the evil boss woman was saying SH*T about me to all of the other employees while I was gone, making snide remarks and snarking about how I took leave even though I didn't have her "permission". (Of course, the fact that I had HER boss's - the OWNER'S - permission was ignored.) I have to hand in my resignation in 3 weeks, and to be perfectly honest, I'm quite enjoying it.

Took last week and this week off from PA work so I could focus on my l*w s****l applications, but of course that's really just an excuse for me to sleep in and then spend the rest of the day on here. I'm supposed to do work on The Invisible (new pic with Justin Chatwin from War of the Worlds...who?) and Supernatural, but neither are of major interest to me.

BTW, you TOOK the lollipop, didn't you?

(Was it a real lollipop - a la Wizard of Oz or Charlie and the Chocolate Factory - or one of those dinky welfare suckers that they call lollipops?)

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Believe you me, no one has seen bad customer service like what I've been doling out by the bucket since I know the end is near. (Only to those who deserve it, natch - and they happen to be in abundance.) Of course, those stingy F*CKwits want to make it seem like allowing me to resign is so I can save face - really, it means they don't want to give me severance pay if they fire me. Assholes. I'm planning on giving a little spiel on my last day, and leaving a note in the staff room saying that I'll miss "most, but not many" of them when I'm gone. I just wish she'd be open about her dislike of me, instead of insulting my intelligence by badmouthing me behind my back and then forcing a smile when she DOES see me. Civility doesn't mean LYING.

Yeah, Tom Cruise's son. Is he hot? I think he's a UBC student. Oh yeah, apparently Pachy was in the vicinity lately. But no one's bought Evian water from the pharmacy for the last few days, so I guess he wasn't around in these parts.

Okay,

3. Do you believe that you have developed any special skills or interests other than your university program or work experience as previously outlined? How may these skills assist you in the pursuit of legal studies and a future legal career?

Like WHAT??? My entire life has been work and school for the last 3 years! What other skills COULD I develop? An ability to fall asleep easily and look at a computer screen for long periods of time?? I'm at a loss.

Oh, and Winnie wants to go to Europe in 2007. I either want to go there, or traipse around Asia. What do you think?

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...to quote Evita, getting kicked out of her lover's room, "So what happens now? Where am I going to?"

...to quote Zoolander, gazing into a pothole puddle, "Who am I?"

...to quote Tiffany, whose mere mass has nearly cemented itself onto this computer lab's seat, "God, I'm so F*CKed if I don't get into law school."

Do I want to go into law school? Or do I just want to get into law school so I have the validation of not being rejected?

Do you think prostitution and an ability - hell, a keen enthusiasm - in showing my boobies to the relevant admissions officers is considered an asset?

Really, what would you answer on that question? (It's okay if I lie - I don't expect anyone really tells the truth on these things anyway, and isn't an ability to lie a sign of a good lawyer?)

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Hey, I'm more than willing to whip out my muffin basket if that's all it takes. Are the old splot of "blackberries" and open sores okay? Or were we talking about literal muffin baskets?

Come oooon, Ivy League, help me out! Jesus, what good has that ridiculously over-priced degree done for you if you can't help your second-class Canadian buddy out?

3. Do you believe that you have developed any special skills or interests other than your university program or work experience as previously outlined? How may these skills assist you in the pursuit of legal studies and a future legal career?

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Well, I've been told that I'm a helluva "master debater" around these parts. (Actually, if you say that a bit faster, they may have been saying I'm a helluva...wait a minute...)

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It would speak up but the battery's low.

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Hey, I haven't got my degree yet!

Gah, this involves engaging my brain in something useful.

Perhaps you could mention your time at immigration, and how you witnessed the interrogation of illegal immigrants, which has helped hone your skills as a scary shouty person. And remember, exaggeration is good! And it doesn't actually have to be the truth...does it?

Can I get back to you?

Except Tiff isn't hopelessly cross-eyed.

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