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Unless you rape someone... — Page 4

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#76

re: unless you rape someone...

Chita, I wasn't sure about this earlier quote in a response:
" But let me just say this, in light of all the cheating that goes on in straight and gay relationships, If I were a woman I would always have protected sex with my husband."

What if you wanted children? Protected sex can prevent pregnancy.
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#77

re: unless you rape someone...

I really don't know. This whole post got away from me. No thanks to your insisting on including married couples in this debate.

I guess you would stop using the condoms until the wife gets pregnant.
#78

re: unless you rape someone...

chita--everyone is trying to find the greater meaning of this kind of law/crime. And, there is no sense in only debating the issue on one specific instance. You have to find the common denominators to the problem. Then we can figure out where this issue is a crime and when it isn't. And, since the issue expanded to trust with your mate--why shouldn't marriage (straight or gay) be included?

I realize the primary issue here is promiscuous sex, but there is a bigger picture that has to be looked at.

And, anytime we fight for rights--we fight for everyone's rights--not just those who are most attacked.
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#79

re: unless you rape someone...

like i said to you earlier in a PM, you can't start a topic like this with so many different views without having it turn into a debate with input form ALL sides... so please don't complain when it does.

"No thanks to your insisting on including married couples in this debate."
you seem to be the one insisting that this only applies to gay couples. you need to be more open minded with something like this. yes the article in question refers to gay men, but it also refers to one person... yet this isn't the only person effected by the law, just as gay men wouldn't be the only people effected by this law.
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#80

re: unless you rape someone...

yes. but this post was about an hiv+ man being prosecuted for having sex without protection and without disclosing his status.

I'd like to discuss that as fully as possible before moving on to the beds of heterosexuals.

This law makes it a felony not to disclose your status to a sex partner. So even if I take all the possible precautions as a responsible man with HIV, I still have to tell my one night stand that I'm positive? I've asked this before and no one answered, What if the condom breaks and the one night stand is infected and he decides to press charges under this law? He agreed to have safer sex with me but now is angry and this law gives him the tools to go after me in court!

What about that?

edit: just as I wrote that last line, "what about that," music came to my ears. There was something in that line that seemed musically familiar to me but I coul not grasp it. After reading my post over I got it! think Dreamgirls..."what about me...what about me...?"


Updated On: 7/21/05 at 10:14 PM

#81

re: unless you rape someone...

someone did answer.. two people actually... go back and look at their responces.
Less is more
Ugly is beautiful
"My brother plays a drag queen... and I'm surprised he looks as good as he does in drag." - Adam Rapp

"thanks, abba. now i'll forever have an image of you as a tattoed hardcore straightedge grrl savaging people in the mosh pit." - papalovesmambo

"Yeah Abba. All the filthy crap you spew out there on those boards. I for one, am equally shocked. :-P" - AnnaK
#86

re: unless you rape someone...

I didn't read Chita's argument as being about wanting to maintain a promiscuous lifestyle. And I think that introducing government control into the regulation of consensual sexual practices is a very, very slippery slope. Personal responsibility and assuming that everyone is positive and practicing safe sex is a very reasonable approach. It approximates infection control practices in a hospital environment. HIV positive patients aren't "flagged"...when I draw blood or do a procedure I use the same universal precautions on the assumption that anyone and everyone could possibly have something infectious to transmit. Counting on honest and accurate disclosure to determine what level of safety is appropriate is ludicrous as there is just too much room for error. Persons in long term committed relationships might choose to spring for an extraordinarily sensitive (and unfortunately also very expensive) HIV test like the P24 before moving to unprotected sex with a long term monogamous partner.

Sueleen Gay: "Here you go, Bitch, now go make some fukcing lemonade." 10/28/10

Updated On: 7/21/05 at 11:09 PM

#87

re: unless you rape someone...

How often would you counsel the couple to have the P24, iflit?

Are you familiar with the (controversial) concept of Negotiated Safety for gay couples, which was pioneered by British AIDS educators?
#89

re: unless you rape someone...

My knowledge of the P24 comes from having used it a a screening for cadaveric organ donors where rapid AND sensitive results are essential. It is my understanding that it is able to detect infection within one week of exposure. The ELISA, of course is too unreliable as anything more that a screening test, and the Western Blot still has too big of a window to be useful in a situation where the information is used to determine what happens withing the next few hours (ie use organs for transplant or not...). There's a newer test...apparently just as sensitive...that is taking the place of the P24, but quite honestly, I haven't checked into the specifics yet.

It would be outside my realm to 'counsel' about which tests should be done and how often. My point was more that for couples who want to move past using condoms and other safe sex practices, there are tests that can be done to assure that they are starting out on a monagamous journey with a 'clean slate'. It might be something as simple as practicing safe sex while having serial Elisa's for an extended period of time. Or maybe a two Western Blots something like six months apart. Again... this is venturing outside of the area where I feel knowledgable enough to offer specifics... But the concept holds.

Sueleen Gay: "Here you go, Bitch, now go make some fukcing lemonade." 10/28/10

Updated On: 7/21/05 at 11:56 PM

#90

re: unless you rape someone...

"So even if I take all the possible precautions as a responsible man with HIV, I still have to tell my one night stand that I'm positive?"

Am I the only one who thinks the words "responsible" and "one night stand" sound funny when put together in a sentence?

My opinion is that it's RESPONSIBLE to ask, it's RESPONSIBLE to tell, and it's RESPONSIBLE to actually be in a commited relationship before you sleep with someone.

This thread has definitely opened my eyes about this board. With all the silliness that goes on it's easy to forget that behind each post is a real human being. I never even took the time to think that some of the people whose posts I read and reply to may be going through real tough life and death situations. I don't take the fact that some of you chose to disclose your status for the sake of making your point lightly. Thanks for your openess and let's just pray that a cure is found soon!

Updated On: 7/21/05 at 11:57 PM

#91

re: unless you rape someone...

Yes not everyone is in or wants to be in a long-term relationship and some of us just hook up to have sex and get intimacy from family or friends or pets or tv's.

Updated On: 7/22/05 at 12:01 AM

#93

re: unless you rape someone...

I didn't say long term, I said commited.... or you could even substitute exclusive relationship.

And I'm not judging anyone here, all I'm saying is that you can't honestly say that having one night stands is responsible. Call it fun, call it necessary, call it what you like... but at least open your eyes to see that it's not responsible.

Updated On: 7/22/05 at 12:07 AM

#94

re: unless you rape someone...

Exactly WHAT is not responsible about one night stands?
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#95

re: unless you rape someone...

I think it's unrealistic to think that sex is ever going to be limited to committed relationships. Or even that it should be...
Which is why the function as if you and your partner du jour are both positive (unless proven otherwise) is most reasonable approach.

I get very nervous when people start talking about legislating sexual practices between consenting adults. That can SO EASILY be manipulated and turned against the very people it was intended to protect.
Sueleen Gay: "Here you go, Bitch, now go make some fukcing lemonade." 10/28/10
#96

re: unless you rape someone...

Popular, I think you have a nice grasp on your definition of "responsible" as it pertains to you and no one else. And that is most definitely a judgement on your part.

Updated On: 7/22/05 at 12:18 AM

#97

re: unless you rape someone...

I actually am constitutionally unable to read this entire thread, as I have taken part in this discussion on another board, as well as, I believe, right here a couple of months ago. And it's very upsetting.

I agree with Iflit completely about the slippery slope.

I have no idea if what I have to say has been said already. But I find it physically distressing that gay men would argue in favor of litigation AGAINST other gay men.

Here are some things to consider. No research anywhere suggests that gay men who know themselves to be HIV positive actually WANT to infect anybody else. Except for some people with serious mental health issues, no HIV negative gay men particularly WANT to be infected with HIV.

So, how does infection continue to happen? In large degree, men who DO NOT KNOW that they are positive, pass the virus onto negative guys. So, I for one, condemn any gay man who is willing to sell positive gay men down the river for the ILLUSION of safety. For two reasons. One, they (the litigigous neggies) should be responsible for their own bodies and nobody but their own bodies. And two, they want to see this poor guy locked up because it contributes to their ILLUSION of safety. And that's all safety is, an illusion.

The point is that more testing needs to happen. But I'll tell you what, you make disclosure mandatory by law and non-disclosure punishable by jail time, and there will be EVEN FEWER MEN GETTING TESTED. The result, more transmission.

The other thing is, there is NO evidence that this guy infected the other guy. NONE. He's in jail because some queen got nervous.

Jesus Christ.
Twitter @NamoInExile Instagram none
#98

re: unless you rape someone...

I also think that eating a candy bar for temporary and instant gratification even though it's unhealthy for you is irresponsible. It doesn't mean I judge someone for having that candy bar. I don't feel they are right, or wrong, good, or bad. I totally understand why someome would want one. Hell, I may want a candy bar myself every once in a while as well! But I'm not going to call myself "responsible" while eating it. I think we're getting too caught up in the symantics here.

I'm apologize if you feel judged by my opinion, that's not my intention. I could in turn also say that you are judging me because I don't advocate one night stands. That's what makes the world so beautiful, we all have different things that make us tick. I can respect your right and desire to have them as long as you can respect my desire to not.

Updated On: 7/22/05 at 12:32 AM

#100

re: unless you rape someone...

It's not so much that I am judging your choice to have a one night stand, like I said I don't think it makes someone good or bad, wrong or right to have or not have one... I'm just not convinced that "responsible" is the best choice of words one could use to describe it, that's all.

Updated On: 7/22/05 at 12:41 AM

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