It was indeed an "awesome" and "amazing" weekend in sunny, ok cloudy Detroit.
The fun of doing these shows is how outlandish they become at times, we are talking 100-150 girls starting out, it's widdled down to 15 and then the panel of judges make their choice.If you would of told me two years ago that I would be hosting something like this I'd of said you were bonkers, I mean, I'm an ACTOR! HAH!
As many of the "gigs" we get on our journey as performers this one came out of the blue with a phone call from a dear friend, I was just on my way home from doing a six week run as Felix in The Odd Couple in PA, when the phone rang, "Hey Bi#ch, how'd ya like to be Bert Parks?"..now, never one to say no to adventure I said, Where?,When?, and How much we talkin'?" After getting the dish, I contacted the owner of the pageant and after a lovely ten minute conversation, had the job, in three weeks I'd be flown to Florida for my first show.....I was asked to sing, "She Bangs", William Hung ain't got nothing on me!
In about four days the "script" came and all the details, ever the professional I glanced at it, put it away and said, "No problem, I played Iago, how tough is this?"
Lesson for the young actors out there, don't ever "glance" at the script and think ya got it, ya don't! Once I arrived in sunny Melbourne Fl., I met all the staff, a truly wonderful group of people, all friendly and eager to see "my stuff"..and then I saw all the contestants, ALL 180 of them! I went to my room, hung up my tux and got down to finally looking at the "script", it was an endless series of "Aren't they AMAZING?!" and "They are all WINNERS"....five minutes before showtime I was backstage and had a panic attack, WHAT WAS I DOING HERE?!?...I can't do this, I don't wanna do this, and why in the world am I singing, "She Bangs" to start the show?, I mean, a tuxedoed man in his thirties, of questionable sexuality in the heart of Florida singing a Ricky Martin song to 180 teenage girls...but then I figured why not? Life is about jumping in , so I jumped...
If I could tell you the looks on the faces of those parents as I bounded on stage, it was like the audience in the film version of The Producers when they first witness the opening moments of Springtime for Hitler! By the end of the song they were clapping, some laughing at me, most laughing with me, as a 16 year old kid, I'd sneak out of my house in Philly and take the "El" train downtown to do stand up, so I kind of know when the crowd is with you, little by litte I was winning them over, the girls began their "Casual wear" part of the evening and I went backstage, full of relief and slight panic as there was MUCH more to go...fast forward to the end, the winner was picked, and believe me, she wasn't the only "queen" who was grateful it was over!
The people in charge were estactic, they hugged me, and said "Welcome to the Family!"..a few of the crew went out for drinks and I admit I had a few myself...a new creative road was before me, there were more shows to do, each one got easier and I picked all new stuff to sing and changed the "script" a great deal! A year later I've got the whole concept under my belt and look forward to the cheesy fun of Miss Junior America each and every trip! I'm trying to update some things, change a few creative choices and most of all, make sure all those great kids have FUN, and I even get to wear an all black ensemble so I look FABULOSA for the sometimes scary, always interesting and mostly loving crowd...the thrill of this creative journey is that it's so unexpected, so varied...so AMAZING! Be it in a smoky comedy club in my youth or on a stage in the West End, or in Atlantic City, OR in some city somewhere in front of about a thousand eager family and friends of some VERY eager young ladies I thank my lucky stars I get to perform for anybody, and hope that the future continues to inspire and reward in many scary and suprising ways!
Have a "AWESOME" and "AMAZING" day my lovelies!
Updated On: 2/25/04 at 09:06 AM
