Everybody ought to have a maid, Someone who you hire when you're short of help To offer you the sort of help You never get from a spouse: Fluttering up the stairway, Shuttering up the windows, Cluttering up the bedroom, Buttering up the master, Puttering all around the house! Oh, oh, wouldn't she be delicious, Tidying up the dishes, Neat as a pin. Oh, oh, wouldn't she be delightful, Sweeping out, Sleeping in.