best remedy for a sucking chest wound

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best remedy for a sucking chest wound

Posted: 8/25/06 at 4:36pm

well, i seem to have a penetrating trauma to the right chest. i was going to call 911 because i've lost a lot of blood and there's this curious whistling sound, but i figured i could just ask you folks. so what's your best idea on how to stop the bleeding and make the whistling stop. try to be quick as i'm getting lightheaded and the blood that's pouring onto the keyboard might short it out at any moment.

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re: best remedy for a sucking chest wound

Posted: 8/25/06 at 4:38pm

I hear pouring bleach on the wound helps.

"You just can't win. Ever. Look at the bright side, at least you are not stuck in First Wives Club: The Musical. That would really suck. " --Sueleen Gay

re: best remedy for a sucking chest wound

Posted: 8/25/06 at 4:38pm

I would recommend putting pressure on the wound.

"I can't figure out what kind of life this is, comedy or tragedy, I just know it's showbiz. And what if I don't agree with the lines I have to read? They don't pay me enough, the way I see it."

re: best remedy for a sucking chest wound

Posted: 8/25/06 at 4:38pm

Hmm. I'd take an Advil.

re: best remedy for a sucking chest wound

Posted: 8/25/06 at 4:38pm

Would you say it's first degree sucking or anything?

Twitter @NamoInExile Instagram none

re: best remedy for a sucking chest wound

Posted: 8/25/06 at 4:38pm

Just lay down and die.

"How bout a little black dress?"~hannahshule "I have a penis, not a vagina." ~munkustrap178

re: best remedy for a sucking chest wound

Posted: 8/25/06 at 4:40pm

ok, the words on the screen are getting blurry, but i called my sister who once worked next door to a veterenarian and she says that the first thing to do is to make a poultice. does anyone know what a pultice is and how to make one? please use big letters as the posts are getting blurry.

re: best remedy for a sucking chest wound

Posted: 8/25/06 at 4:40pm

Whatever you do, try not to burn yourself whilst making a poultice.

Twitter @NamoInExile Instagram none

re: best remedy for a sucking chest wound

Posted: 8/25/06 at 4:41pm

I'd help you, Papa, but I have to get to the hospital. I suddenly have this giant pain in my ass...

"I can't figure out what kind of life this is, comedy or tragedy, I just know it's showbiz. And what if I don't agree with the lines I have to read? They don't pay me enough, the way I see it."

#10

re: best remedy for a sucking chest wound

Posted: 8/25/06 at 4:41pm

Google is your friend. Even the mortally wounded need to have the courtesy to run a google search before posting tripe like this on the board.

"You just can't win. Ever. Look at the bright side, at least you are not stuck in First Wives Club: The Musical. That would really suck. " --Sueleen Gay

#11

re: best remedy for a sucking chest wound

Posted: 8/25/06 at 4:42pm

what did you say about whistling namo? sweet, please don't post here anymore. looking at your avatar makes me question why i would want to live in a world in which you exist.

who knows about poultices or is it poulticii?

#12

re: best remedy for a sucking chest wound

Posted: 8/25/06 at 4:45pm

How did you get the wound, by the by? It's a question you'll have to answer at the ER, if you make it. Did you get it whilst you were doing something else?

Twitter @NamoInExile Instagram none

#13

re: best remedy for a sucking chest wound

Posted: 8/25/06 at 4:47pm

I'd recommend getting into a warm bath and remain submerged until the pain subsides.

#14

re: best remedy for a sucking chest wound

Posted: 8/25/06 at 4:49pm

Pee on it, Papa!

Stop looking at my charisma.

#15

re: best remedy for a sucking chest wound

Posted: 8/25/06 at 4:49pm

Who wants to takes bets as to how long until Papa kicks it.

I call 6 more minutes.

"You just can't win. Ever. Look at the bright side, at least you are not stuck in First Wives Club: The Musical. That would really suck. " --Sueleen Gay

#16

re: best remedy for a sucking chest wound

Posted: 8/25/06 at 4:50pm

I'll take 11, Colleen.

"I can't figure out what kind of life this is, comedy or tragedy, I just know it's showbiz. And what if I don't agree with the lines I have to read? They don't pay me enough, the way I see it."

#17

re: best remedy for a sucking chest wound

Posted: 8/25/06 at 4:50pm

i dunno, namo. i was sitting quietly by my computer when the door flew open and i'm sure i heard the words "sick simpering tyrannosaurus." then i felt like someone punched me in the chest and the door closed and i noticed the whistling sound and looked down to see blood everywhere.

geek, you should take it as a good sign that you have pains in other parts of your body. it detracts from the overall agony of your primary problem. i wish that i could get someone to say something witty and a bit cruel that would distract me from my pain, but alas no.

#18

re: best remedy for a sucking chest wound

Posted: 8/25/06 at 4:52pm

Awww...and somehow I feel no sympathy.

It's Karma, I'm sure, papa. Just go with it.

"I can't figure out what kind of life this is, comedy or tragedy, I just know it's showbiz. And what if I don't agree with the lines I have to read? They don't pay me enough, the way I see it."

#19

re: best remedy for a sucking chest wound

Posted: 8/25/06 at 4:53pm

Just lay down and die.

I think that would be "Just lie down and die".

#20

re: best remedy for a sucking chest wound

Posted: 8/25/06 at 4:54pm

Papa, Namo and sucking in the same thread.

I have to go lie down, myself.

#21

re: best remedy for a sucking chest wound

Posted: 8/25/06 at 4:56pm

I had a sucking chest wound once.

I tried everything to get it to stop bleeding. Eventually, I ended up stuffing it full of sea foam dresses and print outs of unrequested and annoying details of other people's break ups. It worked for me.

If that doesn't work, I'd recommend trying to tie off your chest with something. A piece of hose or maybe a sock puppet.

#22

re: best remedy for a sucking chest wound

Posted: 8/25/06 at 4:56pm

Papa, can you take a photo and post it in a thread?

Rest in peace, Iflitifloat.

#23

re: best remedy for a sucking chest wound

Posted: 8/25/06 at 4:56pm

ok, i have stuffed the hole (there was a hole) full of post it notes and the whistling seems to have stopped. but it's still bleeding rpetty good and i'm getting light headed now. i still am waiting for poultice suggestions.

#24

re: best remedy for a sucking chest wound

Posted: 8/25/06 at 4:59pm

I like my poultice skinless and grilled.

"You just can't win. Ever. Look at the bright side, at least you are not stuck in First Wives Club: The Musical. That would really suck. " --Sueleen Gay

#25

re: best remedy for a sucking chest wound

Posted: 8/25/06 at 5:00pm

Is your chest wound whistling a happy tune?
If so, then hold your head erect!

"Just a Guy. Your feelings are touching. I am gladdened by the thought that you will one day wind up 6 feet under as we all do." - MrRoxy ------ "I do not suggest you walk out the door onto a New York street with your vulnerable child part exposed and not protected..." - Jason Bennett

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