I was there tonight and A Bronx Tale commits one of the worst sins in theater- it's forgettable- so let me get my thoughts down before I, you know, forget them.
Aside from a few major groaners in the book and it's fair share of clunky lyrics (yes, if she goes for the pepperoni/she's not fit for matrimony is actually a lyric!), A Bronx Tale never makes much of an impression in either the so bad it's good or the awe-inspiring categories.
The story begins around 1960 and stays there until a time jump 3/4 of the way through act one brings us to 1968 where the play remains until the end. Bobby Conte Thornton plays Calogero, or C, our hero and narrator. He has a younger self in the 1960 portion, but he narrates the entire show to the audience as a memory play. A little narration can be fine to set the table at the beginning, but this narration is so constant that makes you think the Shuffle Along narration showed some restraint. Why are some authors so obsessed with this device? Instead of saying, Sonny was like a father to me and took me under his wing, why don't they just SHOW us a scene of Sonny acting like a father and taking C under his wing. And if you're going to use narration for god's sake don't tell us Sonny was like a father and took you under his wing and then also show us the same thing you just told us. Redundancy is no one's friend.
The 1960 section is fairly happy-go-lucky and drama free save for C's father (Richard H Blake) being against his son's growing friendship with the mobster Sonny (Nick Cordero). Blake has a My Nose Ain't Broken sounding song with the younger C called Look to Your Heart. Young C gets I Like It which was very reminiscent of She's In Love and Sonny sings a big Luck Be A Lady Tonight number at a crap game where young C learns how to roll dice. Sonny has a crew of wise guys that all get names, but no personalities beyond some cartoony stereotypes. In fact, everyone is pretty stereotypical with little real depth to play. They feel like xerox versions of the Jersey Boys crossed with Nathan Detroit and his guys.
Then we jump to 1968 and Thornton steps into the role of high school C and luckily the narration lessens as his character starts to drive the action. Why they ever gave over nearly 45 minutes to the story of the younger self is a baffling mystery. C now has a crew of his own. They're lovable Italian meatheads until they start randomly singing about how they don't want any colorless in the neighbor, because, oh, they're also big racists.
C falls for a black girl at his school named Jane (Ariana Debose) and the show, which has been largely plotless up to this point, turns into a Romeo and Juliet meets Memphis situation. To keep things consistent with Jane the writers have also saddled her with a cartoony crew of sassy black best friends; Jane's brother and his friend get to sing a song comparing the Italian guys to mozzarella, pizza and limp macaroni.
The problem with introducing these racial themes late in act one is three fold: it comes out of nowhere, it's a weighty topic that is only superficially explored and once you ring this bell it can't be unrung. It's hard to keep trying to pass off the Italian friends as funny, lovable wise guys when they're calling people n* and making Molotov cocktails to burn down the black clubs. Look, if you want to write a play or musical about Italian/black relations in the Bronx in the 1960s I think it's a good idea, but it can't just be a light subplot. Jane needs to be introduced much earlier and their romance needs to be far more developed than it is. All the relationships do.
The cast works hard and they throw themselves into every bit of schtick with zest. Thornton is a great presence and I'd love to see him again on stage; he was terrific in the Mufti Starting Here, Starting Now earlier this year.
The score has some nice melodies. Lots of 60s pop pastiche. You'll hear some strains of Little Shop for sure. The lyrics as mentioned aren't great, but no one has ever confused Slater with Sondheim.
I know what I've written sounds pretty negative, and it is, but this is in no way a trainwreck. It's professional, looks nice and all the actors have great voices. It's just completely uninspired and an unnecessary development in the Bronx Tale lineage of adaptations.
Marie: Don't be in such a hurry about that pretty little chippy in Frisco.
Tony: Eh, she's a no chip!
