Ethel Merman Stage Door Experiences

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Ethel Merman Stage Door Experiences

Posted: 7/28/13 at 5:18pm

Because I am curious and in the mood for a good laugh, I'd love to hear some stories of the Merm at the stage door or just funny stories involving her in general. GO! Let's have some fun.

Ethel Merman Stage Door Experiences

Posted: 7/28/13 at 5:39pm

Here are a bunch of them.
Let me search that for you

"What- and quit show business?" - the guy shoveling elephant shit at the circus.

Ethel Merman Stage Door Experiences

Posted: 7/28/13 at 5:57pm

Oh shush, IronMan. Even if that thread was what the OP was asking, we all know the search function on this site is far from the best.

Formerly: WishingOnlyWounds2 - Broadway Legend - Joined: 9/25/08

Ethel Merman Stage Door Experiences

Posted: 7/28/13 at 6:03pm

Oh, shush yourself. It's exactly what they were asking for, and it took all of 5 seconds to find.

And another...

"What- and quit show business?" - the guy shoveling elephant shit at the circus.

Updated On: 7/28/13 at 06:03 PM

Ethel Merman Stage Door Experiences

Posted: 7/28/13 at 6:16pm

i love Ethel's cameo in Airplane! lol

"The sexual energy between the mother and son really concerns me!"-random woman behind me at Next to Normal "I want to meet him after and bang him!"-random woman who exposed her breasts at Rock of Ages, referring to James Carpinello

Ethel Merman Stage Door Experiences

Posted: 7/28/13 at 6:27pm

You want to see Ethel at her best, watch "It's A Mad Mad Mad Mad World". That movie is funny.

If anyone ever tells you that you put too much Parmesan cheese on your pasta, stop talking to them. You don't need that kind of negativity in your life.

Ethel Merman Stage Door Experiences

Posted: 7/28/13 at 6:45pm

I looked at all the posts in those two links. This one made me laugh the loudest: 5. During the run of ANYTHING GOES, Merman became friendly with dear, sweet Victor Moore. One night Moore ran as if his life depended on it. Merman stopped him and asked what was wrong. Moore said he just saw two men having sex in one of the backstage corridors. Said Merman: “well, where do you want them to do it.”

"Noel [Coward] and I were in Paris once. Adjoining rooms, of course. One night, I felt mischievous, so I knocked on Noel's door, and he asked, 'Who is it?' I lowered my voice and said 'Hotel detective. Have you got a gentleman in your room?' He answered, 'Just a minute, I'll ask him.'" (Beatrice Lillie)

Ethel Merman Stage Door Experiences

Posted: 7/28/13 at 6:54pm

These are great stories, but as I browsed through that link, none of them are "stage door experiences."

"Jaws is the Citizen Kane of movies."

blocked: logan2, Diamonds3, Hamilton22

Ethel Merman Stage Door Experiences

Posted: 7/28/13 at 7:17pm

Off topic, but recently watched an unsold sitcom pilot Merman made in 1977, "You're Gonna Love It Here", in which she played Broadway star Lolly Rogers . . . running joke had her about to begin a tour of Mame . . . Austin Pendleton played her playboy son in the pilot.

Story and writing were pretty lame . . . written and directed by Bruce Paltrow . . . Ethel's last attempt at securing a weekly series for herself.

#10

Ethel Merman Stage Door Experiences

Posted: 7/28/13 at 7:25pm

She was nice to me last night

Poster Emeritus

#11

Ethel Merman Stage Door Experiences

Posted: 7/28/13 at 7:29pm

Here's two, best12bars:
"Posing outside the Broadway theatre where they did their one-night only concert in May 1977, one photographer called out "Mary, take your hand away from Ethel's chin!" Ethel muttered "Shut up! She's holding up my face!""

"Some stage door Johnnies were waiting for Merman at the stage door at GYPSY way back when. They waited nearly an hour and a half. A limo pulls up. The stage door swings open and there she is.
The fellows gawk and say, "Ooh, hello Miss Merman!"
She hollers back, "HI BOYS!" and strides into the limo without giving an autograph.
The stories go that she disliked giving autographs because they always made her late for where she had to be.
In any event, I found that one funny. "

And now I'm finished looking up things for others. But it has been a blast re-reading all these old tales of The Merm!

"What- and quit show business?" - the guy shoveling elephant shit at the circus.

Updated On: 7/29/13 at 07:29 PM

#12

Ethel Merman Stage Door Experiences

Posted: 7/28/13 at 8:56pm

Not a stage door experience, technically, but at one stop during a concert tour in the 1970's, she had a greet-and-sign at one of the big record stores in town. (She probably scheduled these in order NOT to deal with people directly after a performance, but she WAS making herself available to her fans.) She was very prompt with both her arrival and departure times. She was pleasant, friendly, signed everthing and posed with everyone- a pro and a star in the very best way.

Well-well-well-what-do-you-think-of-that-I-have-nothing-here-to-pay-my-train-fare-with-only-large-bills-fives-and-sevens....

#13

Ethel Merman Stage Door Experiences

Posted: 7/28/13 at 9:13pm

ooh, the iron is funny.

Formerly: WishingOnlyWounds2 - Broadway Legend - Joined: 9/25/08

#14

Ethel Merman Stage Door Experiences

Posted: 7/28/13 at 9:15pm

Ethel hated to fly and avoided it at all costs. Once, flying back to NYC from her (then) home in Denver, they hit some turbulence and she was convinced the airplane wass about to crash. Ethel jumped up frantically and announces, "If I'm going to die, I want to die feeling like a woman." She removes all her clothing and asks, "Is there someone on this plane who is man enough to make me feel like a woman?" A man stands up, removes his shirt and says, "Here, iron this!".

#15

Ethel Merman Stage Door Experiences

Posted: 7/28/13 at 9:21pm

Ethel and Ernest Borgnine had just got married and on the night of their honeymoon before passionate love, Ethel tells Ernie, "Please be gentile, I'm still a virgin." Ernest is shocked and replied, "How's this possible? You've been married three times before." Ethel responds, "Well, my first husband was a gynecologist and all he wanted to do was look at it. My second husband was a psychiatrist and all he wanted to do was talk about it. Finally, my third husband was a stamp collector and all he wanted to do was...oh, do I miss him!"

#16

Ethel Merman Stage Door Experiences

Posted: 7/28/13 at 9:33pm

Ethel walked up to the bar and told the bartender "Give me a beer- anything but Schlitz.'

The bartender said "AH, not a Shlitz fan, huh?"

Ethel said "Hell no! Last night I drank most of a case of Schlitz and blew chunks."

The bartender said "Well, Miss Merman, you drink that much of any kind of beer and you're going to upset your stomach."

Ethel told him "Listen you ass hole, Chunks is my dog."

#17

Ethel Merman Stage Door Experiences

Posted: 7/28/13 at 10:45pm

My fave Merman story:

Ethel Merman and her friend Benay Venuta were going out after a peformance of "Gypsy" one evening. Benay went to Ethel's dressing room where she saw Ethel struggling with a turban on her head, pulling locks of hair out from underneath it.

Benay went over to Ethel and said, "Oh, Ethel. That's not how you wear a turban. Let me show you," and tried pushing the strands of Ethel's hair back up under the turban.

Ethel pushed her hands away and said, "F*CK you, Benay! I need a little softness around my face."

#18

Ethel Merman Stage Door Experiences

Posted: 7/28/13 at 11:32pm

My friend was an usher for Gypsy with Merman. She was standing at the back of the house at the top of show, right where Merman was to enter for her opening line. According to my friend, Merman shouted her line so loud, and so close to her, that my friend went deaf in that ear for 3 days.

#19

Ethel Merman Stage Door Experiences

Posted: 7/28/13 at 11:41pm

Hahaha, thanks, Joe.

#20

Ethel Merman Stage Door Experiences

Posted: 7/28/13 at 11:45pm

This is a real stage door story I saw personally. I waited for Ethel Merman after a performance of HELLO DOLLY. At least half the other people waiting were high school girls who had attended as a school group. They had loved the show and were totally excited at the possibility of seeing the star up close. They were enthusiastically discussing how great she was and what they wanted to tell her when she came out. When she appeared, dressed like your tasteful aunt on her way to lunch in a nice restaurant, the girls didn't recognize her. She seemed smaller offstage, and demeanor was ladylike. As she walked through, I told the people around me that she was there. They ignored me, ignored her, and kept looking expectantly at the stage door. I guess they were expecting her to come out in a red dress and singing "There's No Business Like Show Business." They were still waiting as her car drove off.

#21

Ethel Merman Stage Door Experiences

Posted: 7/29/13 at 7:27am

"F*CK you, Benay! I need a little softness around my face."

I always heard that as "F*CK you, Benay! The curls are for softening!"

#22

Ethel Merman Stage Door Experiences

Posted: 7/29/13 at 10:11am

Reading these anecdotes are fun.

Appropos to nothing I just watched episode(s) of "That Girl" with both Ethel Merman *and* Benay Venuta.

#23

Ethel Merman Stage Door Experiences

Posted: 7/29/13 at 5:14pm

These are great! I've laughed so hard I've cried.

#24

Ethel Merman Stage Door Experiences

Posted: 7/29/13 at 6:26pm

Mary Martin and Ethel Merman were sitting watching some youngsters cut a rug. Mary signed and said "Ethel, do you remember the minuet?"

Ethel snorted "Mary, I can't even remember the ones I f*cked!"

#25

Ethel Merman Stage Door Experiences

Posted: 7/29/13 at 6:52pm

Mary & Ethel were taking a break during rehearsals for one f their TV specials. A photographer was attempting to get a picture of the two legends but Ethel kept fidgeting. Finally Mary said "Ethel! Pay attention, he's trying to focus!"

Ethel looked at the photographer aghast: "Both of us?"

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