Ethel Merman Stage Door Experiences

Because I am curious and in the mood for a good laugh, I'd love to hear some stories of the Merm at the stage door or just funny stories involving her in general. GO! Let's have some fun.

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Oh shush, IronMan. Even if that thread was what the OP was asking, we all know the search function on this site is far from the best.

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i love Ethel's cameo in Airplane! lol

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I looked at all the posts in those two links. This one made me laugh the loudest: 5. During the run of ANYTHING GOES, Merman became friendly with dear, sweet Victor Moore. One night Moore ran as if his life depended on it. Merman stopped him and asked what was wrong. Moore said he just saw two men having sex in one of the backstage corridors. Said Merman: “well, where do you want them to do it.”

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Off topic, but recently watched an unsold sitcom pilot Merman made in 1977, "You're Gonna Love It Here", in which she played Broadway star Lolly Rogers . . . running joke had her about to begin a tour of Mame . . . Austin Pendleton played her playboy son in the pilot.

Story and writing were pretty lame . . . written and directed by Bruce Paltrow . . . Ethel's last attempt at securing a weekly series for herself.

Here's two, best12bars:
"Posing outside the Broadway theatre where they did their one-night only concert in May 1977, one photographer called out "Mary, take your hand away from Ethel's chin!" Ethel muttered "Shut up! She's holding up my face!""

"Some stage door Johnnies were waiting for Merman at the stage door at GYPSY way back when. They waited nearly an hour and a half. A limo pulls up. The stage door swings open and there she is.
The fellows gawk and say, "Ooh, hello Miss Merman!"
She hollers back, "HI BOYS!" and strides into the limo without giving an autograph.
The stories go that she disliked giving autographs because they always made her late for where she had to be.
In any event, I found that one funny. "

And now I'm finished looking up things for others. But it has been a blast re-reading all these old tales of The Merm!

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Updated On: 7/29/13 at 07:29 PM

ooh, the iron is funny.

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Ethel and Ernest Borgnine had just got married and on the night of their honeymoon before passionate love, Ethel tells Ernie, "Please be gentile, I'm still a virgin." Ernest is shocked and replied, "How's this possible? You've been married three times before." Ethel responds, "Well, my first husband was a gynecologist and all he wanted to do was look at it. My second husband was a psychiatrist and all he wanted to do was talk about it. Finally, my third husband was a stamp collector and all he wanted to do was...oh, do I miss him!"

My fave Merman story:

Ethel Merman and her friend Benay Venuta were going out after a peformance of "Gypsy" one evening. Benay went to Ethel's dressing room where she saw Ethel struggling with a turban on her head, pulling locks of hair out from underneath it.

Benay went over to Ethel and said, "Oh, Ethel. That's not how you wear a turban. Let me show you," and tried pushing the strands of Ethel's hair back up under the turban.

Ethel pushed her hands away and said, "F*CK you, Benay! I need a little softness around my face."

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Hahaha, thanks, Joe.

"F*CK you, Benay! I need a little softness around my face."

I always heard that as "F*CK you, Benay! The curls are for softening!"

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These are great! I've laughed so hard I've cried.

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Mary & Ethel were taking a break during rehearsals for one f their TV specials. A photographer was attempting to get a picture of the two legends but Ethel kept fidgeting. Finally Mary said "Ethel! Pay attention, he's trying to focus!"

Ethel looked at the photographer aghast: "Both of us?"