I suppose this means NPH, Marc Shaiman and Scott Wittman were priviy to the winners prior to the evening's announcements? How fun (and I suppose anti-climatic) to know everything in advance.
>> Nope. Think again...see if you can make up some of the lyrics they had for the other winners. Exercise your brain a little.
Marc's lyrics were brilliant but someone had to step up to the challenge so here's a quick 15 minute reply. Using the same tunes so as not to confuse the musicians, and roughly the same categories highlighted, how about...
Tonight, tonight Was Next to Normal's night They sent young Billy back to the mines. How can we put Our shock that Hallie Foote Beat out Lansbury and Root and Hynes?
From under his green latex pallor Brave D'arcy James showed valor And won for Drek that's Shrek.
Jeff Daniels crushed The likes of Gandolfini and Rush
[to "Luck be a Lady Tonight"]
Now listeners please throw us a bone Cause nothing rhymes with Scag-a-lione The Great White Way's in peril Cause our Liza lost to Ferrell Tony was the loser tonight
Credits! That's not going to stop me!
[to "Tonight"]
Vietnamese All voted Fonda please And Kudisch with his Sixties porn stache
And Tom Kitt's pitch To make Elton his bitch Showed a charm and a certain panache
(OK, I just can't touch this verse.) This show Could not be any gayer If Liza was named mayor And Elton John took flight
And so, we're done The credits... (The rest is lost to a final sound malfunction.)
I had to come out of the woodwork to check on you guys, and as usual was delighted to peek behind the curtain. My life has become frightfully pedestrian. As I sit, I'm considering getting up from this desk and running away from everything. Join the circus, or the nat'l tour of Mamma Mia... I'm sure they need a sequin stitcher or a Keyboard 9 player.
Back on topic... I am dying to know how the closing number was born. Stitched together from pre-existing thoughts, or banged out in a steamy room somewhere in the depths of Radio City around a monitor.
TONIGHT, TONIGHT THE TONY?S WERE TONIGHT (cut to cast of ?Next To Normal/Billy Elliot?) AND ELTON?S BILLY WAS ALL THE RAGE
(cut to Angela Lansbury) WHAT CLASS, WHAT DRIVE NOW ANGELA?S WON FIVE (cut to Angela Lansbury & Poison) AND SHE HOOKED UP WITH ?POISON? BACKSTAGE!
(cut to the Billy Boys) WITH HEELS AS SORE AS POOR ACHILLES THREE TUTU WEARING BILLYS WERE SUCH A WINNING SIGHT (cut to a different shot of Billy Boys) TONIGHT ALL THREE WON TONYS PLUS THEY HIT PUBERTY!
(cut to Geoffrey Rush) AND GEOFFREY WON A TONY TONIGHT (cut to Karen Olivo) KAREN WON A TONY TONIGHT (cut to Liza Minnelli) LIZA AT THE PALACE (cut to Alice Ripley) MR. RIPLEY?S DAUGHTER ALICE THEY ALL WON A TONY TONIGHT!
?Credits? That?s not gonna stop me!?
(cut to Chris Sieber) CHRIS SIEBER PLEASE PERFORMING ON YOUR KNEES? DUDE, THAT ONLY WORKS TO WIN GOLDEN GLOBES
(cut to ?HAIR? performance) I HOPE TONIGHT WHEN THEY?RE HIGH AS A KITE TO BE THERE WHEN THE ?HAIR? CAST DISROBES
THIS SHOW COULD NOT BE ANY GAYER (cut to different shot of Liza) IF LIZA WAS NAMED MAYOR (cut to Elton John) AND ELTON JOHN TOOK FLIGHT
THE CURTAIN FALLS I?M OFF TO HIT SOME BIG TONY BALLS! GOODNIGHT!
here were some leftovers
THE COPS ARE ISSUING SOME WARRANTS THEY?VE HEARD THAT ARTHUR LAURENTS HAS CHINO?S GUN IN SIGHT
or
A SHINY LIMO BROUGHT JANE FONDA SHE JUST LEFT IN A HONDA I?M SURE SHE FEELS NO SPITE
What is it about Marc that always seems to bring the oldies out of the woodwork?
"You just can't win. Ever. Look at the bright side, at least you are not stuck in First Wives Club: The Musical. That would really suck. "
--Sueleen Gay
'"Contrairiwise," continued Tweedledee, "if it was so, it might be; and if it were so, it would be; but as it isn't, it ain't. That's logic."'
~Lewis Carroll