How many people can say they have been assaulted in the theatre?

[MelissaF]

Posted: 2/28/12 at 6:47pm

Well....This past weekend I was in NYC for my anual birthday trip....One of the shows I saw was Anything Goes. During the curtain call, the whole audience was up on their feet applauding. Having enjoyed the show, I stood up as well, and suddenly, there was a slap on my back so hard, Im bruised. I turned around to find a woman in her seventies yelling at me to "sit the hell down". I turned around and told her to keep her "f***ing hands off of me", and told her it was called a standing ovation for a reason. It certainly was not like I was the only one standing up, EVERYONE was....Just had to share that experience...

[blaxx]

Posted: 2/28/12 at 6:54pm

I saw BKLYN The Musical. There can't be a worse kind of assault.

[Jordan Catalano]

Posted: 2/28/12 at 7:07pm

Damnit Blaxx, that was MY joke!!

[tazber]

Posted: 2/28/12 at 7:20pm

At least half the cast of Spider Man.

[Gaveston2]

Posted: 2/28/12 at 7:27pm

I was sitting in the front row for one of the many times I saw the original Broadway production of CHICAGO. During the finale, when Gwen Verdon and Chita Rivera were throwing roses into the audience, Verdon threw a rose in my general direction. While it was still in mid-air, the matinee lady behind me quite literally slapped me upside the head (hard) and grabbed the rose that was falling into my lap.

I was completely stunned and unsure how to react. (I'm a 6'3" man, BTW, and the rose thief was 40 years my senior; it wasn't like I was going to hit her back or fight her for a flower.)

Before I could even turn and say anything, Gwen Verdon dropped to one knee at the edge of the stage, handed me a rose and mouthed the word, "Sorry." Quite frankly, that gesture astonished me more than having my ear boxed. I couldn't believe she was even aware of what was happening in the house.

If I hadn't already adored Gwen Verdon, I certainly would have after that.



Updated On: 2/28/12 at 07:27 PM

[PlayItAgain]

Posted: 2/28/12 at 7:59pm

I was verbally insulted by 3 older (60s-70s) audience members who were talking about politics obnoxiously loud in my ear before The People In The Picture. One of them said he "didn't know why no one had yet to put a bullet in obamas head" (this was after a long conversation involving other ignorant political talk) and I turned around and went "are you ****ing kidding me?" and we got into a whole exchange where they proceeded to question my education and age and I was wearing my Everyday Rapture shirt which said I Am But A Speck Of Dust on the back to which one of the women said "your shirt describes you perfectly nothing but a speck of dust" I then picked up my things and turned around and said "You know what you can go **** yourself" and her equally obnoxious friend goes "how classy" and I said to her "you can join your friend in ****ing yourself" and walked away then told the usher and the house manager what happened and they agreed with me that they were totally out of place and reseated me.

and then I was verbally abused by the show itself....

Updated On: 2/28/12 at 07:59 PM

[SNAFU]

Posted: 2/28/12 at 8:51pm

Gaveston, find solice in the fact that that matinee Lady is more then likely dead right now.

Updated On: 2/29/12 at 08:51 PM

[My Oh My]

Posted: 2/28/12 at 11:23pm

Meh. I had pork loins laid upon my leg for the duration of the first act of a London performance of Blood Brothers. The sow that insisted on laying them on me did not immediately get the bacon beat out of her due to the fact the portly pork was so piggy, I thought maybe it might've been an unfortunate case of chorizo overflow and spillage onto my side. I do not discriminate against the portly and I don't use such adjectives in describing anyone who exhibits general common sense and every day courtesy. Clearly, this piggy hadn't yet gone to market and I had to pay for it dearly.

I was to be dealt worse still. During the latter half of act one, she literary laid her hooves on my knee as she reclined herself, so round and stout, into the waiting lap of her boyfriend who fed her something from a straw that she audibly slurped LOUDLY. I angrily shook the ham off my knee as the act came to a close, but she did not react. I moved several rows down for the second act as the theatre was practically empty.

After the show, as I made my way down the crowded street to my nearby hotel, I was attacked randomly by a crazed transient and held by the throat for what seemed like ages, then released.

I win.

Updated On: 2/28/12 at 11:23 PM

[jayinchelsea]

Posted: 2/28/12 at 11:34pm

Some years ago, when I was sitting in the mezzanine, waiting to see ROCK 'N' ROLL, the Tom Stoppard play, an elderly woman behind me was making a fuss, as she didn't like her seat and wanted to move down. Just before the play began, I suddenly felt a sharp bang on my head: she had moved behind me and somehow brought her cane down on my head! I literally saw stars for a minute, the lights went down, and my partner ran to get some ice from the bar. I was dumbfounded and in pain.

At the intermission the old lady gave me her card and said I should contact her if I had a problem. WTF!!!

[Broadway Joe]

Posted: 2/29/12 at 10:04am

When does the trial start?

[Phyllis Rogers Stone]

Posted: 2/29/12 at 10:23am

Once I went to James Barbour's dressing room.

[americanboy99]

Posted: 2/29/12 at 10:32am

This is the best thread. Just the best.

[Hanna from Hamburg]

Posted: 2/29/12 at 11:14am

Cyrano - THE MUSICAL assaulted all my senses. Luckily it was a comp and I left at intermission.

[EponineAmneris]

Posted: 2/29/12 at 11:18am

All of my senses were assulted when I went to see THE PIRATE QUEEN...

[once a month]

Posted: 2/29/12 at 1:53pm

A theatre outside of Philadelphia where my murder mystery was ending a six month run, I was literally attacked by a couple of drunks who picked me up and threw me against a wall, as I was switching costumes for my death scene. The audience actually thought it was part of the show. Talk about mayhem, and all the while my director was yelling...YOU'RE ON, YOU'RE ON YOU'RE ON...get out there and die! And I kid you not...

[Calvin]

Posted: 2/29/12 at 2:01pm

I've been assaulted outside a theatre. A lady hit me with her cane because I was standing in front of one of the posted reviews she wanted to read. She just whacked me on the side moderately hard and pushed. Guess it was easier than just saying "Excuse me -- could you move over so I can read that?"

Jay, perhaps it was the same woman! :)

[madbrian]

Posted: 2/29/12 at 2:23pm

I had a salted bagel at brunch before seeing The Color Purple...does that count?

[Gaveston2]

Posted: 2/29/12 at 6:21pm

Gaveston, find solace in the fact that that matinee Lady is more than likely dead right now.

Thanks, SNAFU. I hadn't thought of that. Frankly, I assumed that anyone who would hit me for a free flower was probably already pretty unhappy.

[Jon]

Posted: 2/29/12 at 6:53pm

Phyllis - I hear you are wonderful in ONCE.

[henrikegerman]

Posted: 3/3/12 at 12:08am

Let's not forget Lincoln. (Assault is a lesser included crime to murder.)

[ActingIsLovee]

Posted: 3/3/12 at 12:22am

I did SRO for Book of Mormon and some other theatre goer slapped my ass on their way to the exit.

[chewy5000]

Posted: 3/3/12 at 6:35am

I was propositioned in the lounge of the Booth theatre, but I suppose that's a whole other thread.

[singtopher]

Posted: 3/3/12 at 9:37am

That photographer at GYPSY certainly got verbally abused.

[henrikegerman]

Posted: 3/3/12 at 10:21am

Evan Handler by the dearly departed Nicol Williamson in I Hate Hamlet.

[sally1112]

Posted: 3/3/12 at 10:44am

I have been raped several times by Telecharge.