Blegh!
Chapter 5: How to sell drugstore hair products while wearing a weave
Updated On: 5/23/13 at 01:35 PM
You know all that jazz has already pre-ordered Dame Lea's book on Amazon.
But there's already a book called How to Lose Friends and Alienate People.
"There's no I in Glee Star. There is L-E-A."
Be careful. Remember what she did to that poor girl in RAGTIME. Don't make her mad.
Broadway Legend Joined: 9/30/08
Lea Michele's Last Rites - coming this fall to a bookstore neer u.
I love how she's writing "a guide to harnessing tenacity, passion, enthusiasm, and hard work to make your dreams come true."
She was so tenacious. She had to work and work and work for FIVE MINUTES before she was on Broadway. Then she had to wait another FIVE MINUTES before she got Glee.
All her struggling really paid off in the end. Now, at least, she can share with us how she did it.
"Part memoir, part how-to, and part style-guide."
Take note, underlings.
"She can write??"
She can pay people to write.
Broadway Legend Joined: 1/18/12
Reading this book would be like eating a bowl of melted ice cream. Why?
"Before my Glee audition, I was in a car accident. No worries, I sang On My Own perfectly, pulling glass out of my pre-Loreal hair and chastising the pianist. Just one more struggle for me in my career."
Guys, she had to overcome not getting a Tony nomination. You can't comprehend that kind of pain.
"When I starred in the movie New Year's Eve, I never got a chance to act with Robert De Niro. It's a shame. He would have really benefitted from that."
"After I sang 'Don't Rain on My Parade' at the Tony Awards, I never received a phone call from Barbra Streisand telling me I was better than her. I've hated her ever since."
"What does Zachary Quinto have that I don't? I don't see it."
Broadway Legend Joined: 8/5/11
Broadway Legend Joined: 9/16/07
Chapter 5: How to sell drugstore hair products while wearing a weave
Tina Fey can write that chapter, too!
Is she still known as Dame Lea around these parts?
Chapter 8
How I learned to share the stage with people less talented than I am and how I'll never make that mistake ever again and how you don't have to make that same mistake that I made when I did that.
Chapter 10 is for TENacious.
If you hire the right people in your life to write the first nine chapters, you too can get to this point in your life.
Chapter 11: When Life Goes Off-Key, Auto-Tune It!
“But I believe I can write one of sorts: not a how-to-make-it-in-show-business book, but a guide to harnessing tenacity, passion, enthusiasm, and hard work to make your dreams come true.”
Sure, but does she have a the courage, uniqueness, nerve, and talent it takes to write a book all by herself?
Sure, but does she have a the courage, uniqueness, nerve, and talent it takes to write a book all by herself?
She doesn't have the courage, uniqueness, nerve, or talent to do ANYTHING by herself except be a total bItch.
You can't make a chapter be dramatic and deep by scrunching your face while you write it. Her secret weapon has been disabled.
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