Mentally Impaired Audience Members- Page 3

[Jane2]

Posted: 2/6/08 at 8:12pm

Thanks, song and dance man.

On a related note-I had a man in my theater one time who was emitting a strong odor. The man was old and shabby, perhaps not homeless, but a sad sight just the same. Some women who were sitting next to him complained about the odor and were demanding that the man either be asked to leave or move away from them.

This man can NOT be asked to leave or move. He has every right to the seat he paid for. The women, on the other hand, could be moved as there were plenty of vacant seats. They made the entire thing a difficult ordeal including yelling. They wanted to stay in their seats. In order to quiet the women, they were eventually offered tickets to another performance.

[lakezurich]

Posted: 2/6/08 at 8:13pm

thank you caitlinette

[jordangirl]

Posted: 2/6/08 at 8:13pm

Lake ~ True. It could be consistent, or the theatre could be so new any little thing could do it. It's really a case-by-case basis. And yeah, a tough situation.

[Jane2]

Posted: 2/6/08 at 8:15pm

"I really don't think "these people" is insulting:"

That's fine. In this case, I do. Each to his own.

[songanddanceman2]

Posted: 2/6/08 at 8:15pm

Oh we have had a patron with very bad BO, so much so the WHOLE of the stalls could smell him.He was a large man who could not get in to his seat so we provided a chair at the back of the auditorium for him but the smell was out of control and many patrons complained and it was not fair on the poor front of house staff member who had to stand at the back of the stalls near him.

We did not want to ask him to leave as we would have felt awful so we put the patron in one of the boxes, problem solved

[LizzieCurry]

Posted: 2/6/08 at 8:15pm

This all makes me think of the little debacle at Lea Salonga's concert a while back...

http://bigsis222.multiply.com/journal/item/325/Tarrytown_UPDATED_

[lakezurich]

Posted: 2/6/08 at 8:16pm

Jane2, I had a similar occurrence. One time when I went to the theatre I sat behind a lady who smelled like she had bathed in a vat of perfume. It was horrible. But I just sucked it up.

[Jane2]

Posted: 2/6/08 at 8:17pm

"We did not want to ask him to leave as we would have felt awful so we put the patron in one of the boxes, problem solved"

[Jane2]

Posted: 2/6/08 at 8:18pm

Lake, I run into that a lot. I'm severely allergic to all scents, so if I"m near someone who has even a little cologne on, I'm out of luck. I have to suffer all night,

[songanddanceman2]

Posted: 2/6/08 at 8:18pm

Oh thanks for the post Lizzie, i had never heard that before

[jordangirl]

Posted: 2/6/08 at 8:21pm

Oh the bathing in perfume thing... Usually perfume doesn't bother me, but one night when I was seeing The Vertical Hour a couple was in front of me, and whatever the woman had on was ultra-strong and I started wheezing. I didn't want to make a huge scene, but I was not breathing easily. I looked around, and a couple who had front roe mezz seats were opting for further back because of the grade of the stairs. The usher noticed me coughing but trying not to (before the show) and said if I needed to move I could sit in one of the seats the couple wasn't using. Thankfully when I was away from the cloud of whatever she had on, I was able to breathe again.

[lakezurich]

Posted: 2/6/08 at 8:24pm

It was really bad. I was thinking the entire time "If you thought you smelled couldn't you have either put on deodorant, or taken a shower?

Updated On: 2/6/08 at 08:24 PM

[songanddanceman2]

Posted: 2/6/08 at 8:26pm

sometimes they honestly dont know they smell that bad, i dont understand how but hey

[Jane2]

Posted: 2/6/08 at 8:28pm

Jordangirl, sounds like you may have an allergy to certain scents. I might recommend taking an antihistamine earlier in the evening if you think this might happen again. (that's what I have to do).

[ashbash1990]

Posted: 2/6/08 at 8:32pm

people are just used to their own personal smell, and so they don't smell it...

[blaxx]

Posted: 2/6/08 at 8:34pm

But I'm not sure what you're getting at. Are you suggesting that there be a separate area, or room for the mentally ill to sit? I think the idea is not to segregate.

No, I was just trying to promote and encourage a solution to something like this. I mean, patrons on wheelchairs are given a designated area in the theater. They can't sit 5th row centre if they wanted, but I'm happy they can be accommodated. I guess that's what I was trying to get to, how we can accommodate.

[sesot]

Posted: 2/6/08 at 8:41pm

Jane I understand why you thought "these People" was insensitive. As someone who also works with children that have various disabilities, I was a little shocked that phrase was used. In the context I also felt it came across in a negative manner. After reading later replies, I don't think it was intended to come across that way; but that was my initial thought too.

[blaxx]

Posted: 2/6/08 at 8:44pm

With no sarcasm intended, I think it would be benefitial for us with less experience if you could provide us with more suited approaches.

[lakezurich]

Posted: 2/6/08 at 8:50pm

a better way to have worded what I said would have been People With Developmental Disabilities. I do realize that some people are offended by labels and generalizations, but as a person who works at a non-for-profit organization on some level labels are necessary, otherwise we would not be able to get funding from the state.

I hope that makes sense to, because I do not want to offend any others.

[lakezurich]

Posted: 2/6/08 at 8:52pm

the general rule of thumb is to put the word "people" before the "label". So use People With Developmental Disabilities, not Developmentally Disabled People.

[george95]

Posted: 2/6/08 at 9:05pm

Well we already have our lengthy thread about how the word "retarded" is not always offensive, so walking around saying "developmentally disabled people" isnt necessary all the time.

As you might remember from that thread, my cousin who grew up one block from and who's 3 years younger than me is severely, severely retarded with Down Syndrome. He's 27 and he doesnt know his own name, can't read or write, cannot speak in sentences, is only potty-trained about 70% of the time, etc.

Would we (the family) take him to a Broadway show? NEVER EVER EVER.
One person's rights end where another's begin. So, unfortunately, my cousin does not understand that he must be quiet at live theater. If you told him "you have to be quiet once the show starts" he might say something like "Batman!" or something totally random like that. Even if he said "ok", there is no guaranteeing that he has any idea what youre talkin about. And just like in church, if we ask him to be quiet, sometimes he'll respond with a LOUD "f*** you!" (He's got a bit of tourette's too)

So I know some of us on this board have demonstrated political correctness to a terrifying degree---you'd have my screaming, farting, yelling cousin next to you at a show and say "oh well, its his right to be here!!!" No way. Children under 4 cant go to the shows because they can't understand that they got to be quiet. My 27 year old cousin's mental capabilities are the same as a 2 year old. So how can he be expected to be quiet.

When we take him to movies, we always take him to like an 11am show so that there are the fewest amount of people in the theater, because he makes a HUUUUGE scene. When GREASE was re-released in theaters 10 years ago, we took him, and he stood up the whole time and sang nonsensically along with the movie--if we tried to stop him he just hit us and swore at us. After the movie, this mom with little kids walked up to us and said "awww he's so cute!!" We were like uhhh ok.

I feel bad for those people who have such profund developmental disabilities, and yet their families would do something as irresponsible as taking them to a broadway show.

[caitlinette]

Posted: 2/6/08 at 9:22pm

Interesting post, george95.

A thought: is it reasonable for hundreds of audience members to have their enjoyment lessened just so that one person can have the experience of going to the show? And how exactly do they experience it -- certainly not in the same way that we do? I don't know that much about these disabilities, so be patient with me.

[george95]

Posted: 2/6/08 at 9:31pm

Well Caitlinette, one things you should know is that people with Down's are not all the same in terms of how severe their retardation is. My cousin goes to lots of day camps and day programs, etc, and he is by far one of the worst-behaved kids there. There are definitely lots of Down's people in his programs who could easily handle sitting through a show. But my cousin will NEVER be able to.

On another note, a few years ago, my aunt and uncle were finally persuaded to try medication for his behaviors. He started taking pills, and he gained a ton of weight, and instead of screaming, throwing, hitting, etc, he was sitting there, falling asleep, acting really lethargic. It was like The New Frankie. But they decided that the drugs were taking his personality, so they took him off. He lost the weight, and he was back to being his silly self---like this past Christmas where he kicked me IN THE FACE with his shoe on and then took my gifts and threw them across the room, then cut my face with his long nails and spit at me in the eye during dinner.

His rights are not more important than an entire theater's rights. Maybe one day there will be a Down's Night on Broadway, like kids night, and it'll be ok because the whole theater will be full of people talking.
But why oh why would anyone think its OK for my cousin, or any Down's person to disrupt a performance?

There is a paradox when dealing with Down's people; we want them to be treated like normal people, but they are not normal. That's kind of our mantra with Frankie "He's not normal and that's OK"

[miss pennywise]

Posted: 2/6/08 at 9:34pm

In the original post, tgn915 writes, "Down Syndrome (mental retardation)." Tgn915, this suggests that you think Down Syndrome and Mental Retardation are the same thing, which they are not. How can you tell someone has mental retardation?

Down Syndrome is manifested physically, so I can understand you're identifying someone by their physical features. But you made an assumption that this person also has Mental Retardation. Do you know anything about Mental Retardation? Why did you jump to the conclusion that the behavior was caused by Mental Retardation?

While it is true that people with Down Syndrome usually have mild to moderate Mental Retardation, there is no way for anyone to make such an assessment based on their behavior in a theatre. It's much more complicated than that.

I understand the dilemma, but putting that aside, I find your "assessment" of the patron's condition disturbing and offensive.

[lakezurich]

Posted: 2/6/08 at 9:35pm

Blaxx asked how to best express how to put it into words as to offend the least amount of people possible (at least that is what I got out of the response). I hate being PC, but the question was asked, so I responded.