New BWW Rules Regarding Jan Maxwell

1) No rude, offensive, untrue, libelous, damaging, etc. statements are to ever be made about Jan Maxwell.

2) Posters found in violation of Rule 1 shall be immediately banned from this site, all Broadway, Off-Broadway, Off-Off Broadway, Community, Regional (etc) Theaters and their man/womanhood immediately removed in a way that shall be determined by Miss Maxwell at a date convenient to her. Maxwell also reserves the right to perform this action herself, should she choose to.

3) In the event a Tony Award is presented to Jan Maxwell next week, all posters must from that date forward only refer to her as "Tony Award Winning Actress Jan Maxwell" until the time she wins a second Tony Award whereupon she shall be referred to as "Two Time Tony Award Winning Actress Jan Maxwell" and so on and so on, adding any major award she wins to her title as well.

4) Posters must recognize that Jan Maxwell can do no wrong and MUST recognize her for the immense talent she is and understand that should she choose to grace us with her presence again on stage she is doing us a favor and we shall never complain about any aspect of her performance, personal life, personal politics etc.

5) Jan Maxwell reserves the right to do anything she likes and still (with no exception) have your utmost respect, including but not limited to:
-Starting a master race
-Opening a Chik-Fil-A Franchise
-Creating her own religion based on a fictional cartoon character (of her choosing)
-Designing a super human capable of destroying dwarfs on sight
-Choosing to leave acting to become a Wal-Mart Greeter

Thank you to all and go see LEND ME A TENOR!

But I just read in another (deleted) post, that she's such a diva because she wants to spend time with her family.

Updated On: 6/5/10 at 10:11 AM

they should give out a performer of the year award at the Tonys called "The Maxwell Honor"

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I can confirm she is in talks to play the role of "hole filler" down south, yes. However she (rightfully) is worried all that oil might be harmful to her radiant complexion which could harm her chances at future roles, so she unfortunately might have to decline.

I heard Four Time Tony Nominated Actress Jan Maxwell was in talks to replace Elaine Stritch and Bernadette Peters to cut down on costs.

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Does Miss Maxwell keep these rules in her bag?

This thread apparently needs to be bumped.

I'm in love with this thread.

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I saw CHITTY CHITTY BANG BANG 3 times because of her performance....brilliant.

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After watching a Jan Maxwell performance, I noticed that my goiter was gone, my teeth were whiter and I no longer needed Lasik eye surgery.

In the event of a new car-bomber attempting to attack Times Square, Jan Maxwell will duck out of the nearest door, rip off her clothing (revealing her superhero costume), dismantle said bomb AND bomber all before you can say "Four Time Tony Award Nominee Jan Maxwell"

It is obviously time to bump this thread.

Buying her gifts because you are concerned about her is perfectly acceptable.