No-Talent Hack Cat Fired from Broadway for Sucking

[Unknown User]

Posted: 3/22/13 at 10:48am

Earlier this week a dumb, no-talent cat was fired from a Broadway adaptation of Breakfast at Tiffany's after it was discovered he couldn't act his way out of a paper bag.

Montie, the black-and-white cat, had been hired as an understudy for star cat performer, Vito Vincent, in the role of "Cat," a cat owned by Tiffany's lead character Holly Golightly.

Unfortunately for Montie, bearing a passing physical resemblance to a black-and-white cookie isn't enough in this town. You've gotta have talent. You've gotta have charisma. And he did not.

Montie's job as Cat: Get out there and act like a cat. Sit on a stack of suitcases. Run offstage. Don't quack at anyone.

Yet the cat, whose job was so simple that even a cat could have done it, could not do it. The New York Post reported yesterday that he was fired for being "unruly."
There's a broken dream for every light on Broadway

[SNAFU]

Posted: 3/22/13 at 10:50am

Hmmmm maybe he will claim sushi poisoning.

[Kad]

Posted: 3/22/13 at 10:54am

I really feel like the press people for this show are desperately trying to cash in on the Internet love of cats.

[tazber]

Posted: 3/22/13 at 10:55am

I heard he just wanted an excuse to get off this sinking ship.

[Kad]

Posted: 3/22/13 at 10:56am

They should start stunt-casting and get Grumpy Cat in there.

[all that jazz]

Posted: 3/22/13 at 11:00am

I only like singing and dancing cats.

[tazber]

Posted: 3/22/13 at 12:23pm

Kad, if they got Tard in there I would pay top dollar for a seat.

[tazber]

Posted: 3/22/13 at 12:26pm

The Cat Who's Taking Over Broadway

[Rainbowhigh23]

Posted: 3/22/13 at 12:31pm

I would stage door for the cat.

[Borstalboy]

Posted: 3/22/13 at 12:51pm

Every time they tried to give him direction, he would just turn around and show his ass as he walked away.

[dave1606]

Posted: 3/22/13 at 1:05pm

sorry but I totally love this!

[MCfan2]

Posted: 3/22/13 at 1:06pm

Next thing you know, Shia LeBoeuf will be tweeting the cat's e-mails.

[Kad]

Posted: 3/22/13 at 1:26pm

If Tard was in it, I would not only pay top dollar, I would stage door.

[goldenboy]

Posted: 3/22/13 at 11:23pm

Maybe the cat just doesn't like Turkey.

[uncageg]

Posted: 3/22/13 at 11:43pm

That just became the new wallpaper for my nook.

Updated On: 3/23/13 at 11:43 PM

[goldenboy]

Posted: 3/23/13 at 12:05pm

They should have kept the cat and fired the director, the playwright and the two leads.

[Marianne2]

Posted: 3/23/13 at 12:18pm

I would go to see Tard. But then I think Aragon A.K.A. Lord Tubbington from Glee would have been good too.

[Cheesy2]

Posted: 3/23/13 at 12:59pm

I'm new here and I am confused. I thought this site was for people that love the theater. It seems like people take pleasure in trashing shows. I saw Breakfast At Tiffany's and it wasn't very good but I don't think that's cause for celebration. A lot of talented people are involved in this show. Real actors. No one that writes on this site could possibly be a real actor because the actors I know are really professional and want their colleagues to succeed. It's easy to comment from the cheap seats, and really hard to sweat and put yourself on display for the folks who think they are part of show biz cause they see plays.

[TheatreDiva90016]

Posted: 3/23/13 at 1:09pm

"I'm new here and I am confused."


Yes. Yes you are.

[goldenboy]

Posted: 3/23/13 at 1:48pm

Dear Confused:

This is the way it works around here.

Almost everyone on here loves theatre. Good Theatre.

And often times we disagree. One loves Peter and the Starcatcher. One hates it.
But almost everyone agrees about Breakfast at Tiffany's.

I'm sure we all wanted Breakfast at Tiffany's to be good theatre but alas it is not. I bought a ticket hoping to be enthralled. Unfortunately, it was dull. It is an opportunity to dupe theatregoers out of their dough with the name recognition that is Breakfast at Tiffany's. It was so poorly done that I wonder if they ever had readings of it so that they could hone and change it into something good. It was so poorly done that 50 theatregoers left at intermission and those were the one's I counted.

We also want everyone to love theatre and when a show maligns our love of theatre we want it disappear. Now.

If my first show on Broadway were the current production of Breakfast at Tiffany's I'm certain that I would be football fan by now. Thank goodness it was David Merrick's Oliver that put me on a track of loving theatre.

If we love something like Book of Mormon or Vanya and Masha and Spike or Hairspray or whatever.........we tout it and praise it and want everyone to see it. The actors and the creatives are celebrated. We tell everyone to buy tickets and rush to the theatre and celebrate.

When it is a piece of day old fish that stinks up what we know about our beloved theatre and gives our beloved "theatre" a bad name we want it to go away as fast as possible.

I'm sure the actors will move on to better parts and better shows. Bad theatre does not help anyone.

[Cheesy2]

Posted: 3/23/13 at 1:56pm

I stand corrected. You love the theater. However, I doubt the people involved with the show intended to dupe anyone. They made a valiant effort. They failed. It happens all the time. The snarky responses however puzzle me. Loving the theater doesn't give anyone the right to malign an honest effort. I actually am involved in the show. We tried. We failed. It's just so many of you seem happy about it. We'll be out of work soon and on to our next job doing rather than just observing. You'll praise the good and dump on us when we don't meet your standards. I can't wait.

[Kad]

Posted: 3/23/13 at 2:13pm

Don't make assumptions about who posts here and why.

Of course the good gets praised and the subpar gets maligned- why shouldn't it? Would a bad meal at a restaurant be met with, "Well, they tried!"? No; you don't eat there again and don't recommend it to friends.

When something turns out poorly, you learn from it and move on. There is a lot of smart, canny criticism on this board- a lot snark, too- but many cogent, thoughtful posts about what's wrong with the production.

And I'm sorry you will be soon looking for another job. But this is the theatre. You've signed on knowing job stability isn't going to be part of the deal.

[goldenboy]

Posted: 3/23/13 at 2:26pm

Cheesy. i am sorry you are out of a job. You will go on to bigger and better things.
I'm sure. They say everything happens for a reason. I don't know; maybe that's true; maybe it's not.

Starting with something as well known as Breakfast at Tiffany's and winding up with Richard Greenberg's dull version is odd. Richard Greenberg is a good writer.


New plays have readings in front of theatre people. People get to say what they liked; what they didn't like; notes are taken in what needs to be corrected; dramaturgs and artistic directors are in attendance and the play is honed into something that people will relate to. It is workshopped. It is re-written. And rewritten again. I don't think that was done here. I think the producers figured we have the name recognition of Breakfast at Tiffany's and we can skip that root. Well guess what? That was their big mistake!

They did you no favor by skipping this important development root. And now you are out of a job. It's not anyone's fault on the board. And no one wishes actors/tech to be out of work. We just want bad theatre, like bad restaurants to be gone.

[TheatreDiva90016]

Posted: 3/23/13 at 2:33pm

I worked on 'Baby, It's You', and I'm sorry for that.

But it was a job.


No one is blaming you (unless you are the director) so just take a breath and relax.


It'll all be over soon.

[tazber]

Posted: 3/23/13 at 3:10pm

I'm new here....

Girl, you outed yourself as a troll before your first sentence was even half complete.