To the lady sitting next to me who farted all throughout "The Vertical Hour"...- Page 2
To the lady sitting next to me who farted all throughout "The Vertical Hour"...
#25'Please silence your...'
Posted: 11/14/06 at 10:19am
ROTFL 
This happened to me at RENT. The guy next to me... ugh.
Good one, PalJoey Always nice to find a time when one can quote Sondheim, is it not 
"TO LOVE ANOTHER PERSON IS TO SEE THE FACE OF GOD"- LES MISERABLES---
"THERE'S A SPECIAL KIND OF PEOPLE KNOWN AS SHOW PEOPLE... WE'RE BORN EVERY NIGHT AT HALF HOUR CALL!"--- CURTAINS
Updated On: 11/14/06 at 10:19 AM
#26'Please silence your...'
Posted: 11/14/06 at 10:40am
Who wears sweatpants to the theatre?
Gassy McFaartsalaut. That's who.
Updated On: 11/14/06 at 10:40 AM
#27'Please silence your...'
Posted: 11/14/06 at 10:43am
Yay for this thread-I love it! Very funny!
p.s. I'm not a stickler for *formal* wear at the theater, but sweat pants and shirts are a no-no!
<-----I'M TOTES ROLLING MY EYES
#28'Please silence your...'
Posted: 11/14/06 at 10:51amI'd also like to know how Ms. Moore was as well!
(formerly bronte604)
"You really just love money and power and capitalism? You know they're never going to love you back."
"Things happen for the best...I don't even believe that myself."
#29'Please silence your...'
Posted: 11/14/06 at 10:55amWhen I saw the VERTICAL HOUR this queen in front of me spent the whole time fanning himself with his playbill. It was so distracting - I wanted to rip it out of his hands and say you are NOT Marie Antoinette. I was sitting around row H as well - that must be a cursed row at the MUSIC BOX.
#30'Please silence your...'
Posted: 11/14/06 at 11:00am
My seatmate at Mary Poppins smelled bad, but I think it was more general BO and not necessarily and ongoing excretion situation.
Queens better behave tonight at the Music Box!
#31'Please silence your...'
Posted: 11/14/06 at 11:01am
Ah, farting is such sweet sorrow.
Besides, that Mrs. Lincoln, how did you enjoy the play...?
"It's not so much do what you like, as it is that you like what you do." SS
"Time flies like an arrow, fruit flies like a banana." GMarx
Updated On: 11/14/06 at 11:01 AM
"Time flies like an arrow, fruit flies like a banana." GMarx
avab802
Broadway Star Joined: 5/17/06
#32'Please silence your...'
Posted: 11/14/06 at 11:04amThe one and only time I saw Phantom of the Opera the woman next to me smelled like she didn't bathe and then tried to cover it with way too much cheap perfume. The man on the other side of my partner was also doused in cologne. Talk about a stinky night at the theatre.
#33'Please silence your...'
Posted: 11/14/06 at 11:08amI am so sorry *turns red*. I had Rice and Beans and you know what they say about beans...
Borstalboy
Broadway Legend Joined: 2/9/04
#34'Please silence your...'
Posted: 11/14/06 at 12:16pmThe poor dear...David Hare gives me gas, too.
"Impossible is just a big word thrown around by small men who find it easier to live in the world they've been given than to explore the power they have to change it. Impossible is not a fact. It's an opinion. Impossible is not a declaration. It's a dare. Impossible is potential. Impossible is temporary. Impossible is nothing.”
~ Muhammad Ali
#35'Please silence your...'
Posted: 11/14/06 at 12:21pm
Did the sweatpants have elastic bands at the ankles and waist? Maybe she thought they'd provide a vapor-lock to seal in the aroma, giving her complete freedom to toot away without disturbing those around her.
Don't be too sure I'm as crooked as I'm supposed to be.
BSoBW2
Broadway Legend Joined: 12/8/04
#36'Please silence your...'
Posted: 11/14/06 at 12:43pm
"Besides, that Mrs. Lincoln, how did you enjoy the play...?"
That was going to be my response! Tom you Monster!
I'm sure it is no coincidence that art rhymes with fart.
#37'Please silence your...'
Posted: 11/14/06 at 2:44pmTHanks for making me fall out of my chair laughing. I had a couple of encounters, though not as bad as yours. I was in the bathroom at Light in the Piazza in LA and some lady in the stall next to me let out the biggest farts ever, I almost died laughing. Then I went to see Stranger than Fiction and someone farted so bad right before the movie started that we had to move our seats. We couldn't move too far because the theater was full so we had to suffer through a few more.
"I wish the stage were as narrow as the wire of a tightrope dancer, so that no incompetent would dare step upon it." Goethe
virgil blessing2
Leading Actor Joined: 7/12/04
#38'Please silence your...'
Posted: 11/14/06 at 2:50pm
sounds like sweatpants lady created her OWN 'vertical hour'.
"I am not 'a' Eunice Burns. I am THE Eunice Burns!!!"
Leading Actor Joined: 12/31/69
#39'Please silence your...'
Posted: 11/14/06 at 2:50pmSo your "Vertical Hour" was ruined by her "Vertical Smile?"
Mattbrain
Broadway Legend Joined: 11/23/05
#40'Please silence your...'
Posted: 11/14/06 at 3:07pm
This is hilarious.
And, incidentally, I wore sweat pants when I saw Rent last February.
Butters, go buy World of Warcraft, install it on your computer, and join the online sensation before we all murder you.
--Cartman: South Park
ATTENTION FANS: I will be played by James Barbour in the upcoming musical, "BroadwayWorld: The Musical."
#41'Please silence your...'
Posted: 11/14/06 at 4:00pmVery funny...The bf and I had a cougher/hacker during "EMERGEN-SEE!" at the Public--very small space, we're on the front row and she coughs for about 15 minutes. I wanted to turn and tell her to go ahead and puke and get it over with, but was a good boy....I enjoyed the show as well, btw...Miss Isherwood's review was not very fair.
punk ballerina
Understudy Joined: 10/14/06
#42'Please silence your...'
Posted: 11/14/06 at 5:14pmThe guy next to me in Lion King was burping and they were gross and *garlic-ey (*ok so it's not a word but its the only adjetive I can think off) Oh, I told my friends that I was NEVER EVER going to eat garlic AGAIN! I almost threw up.
wow thats pretty deep...did ya get that off a bumper sticker?
#43'Please silence your...'
Posted: 11/14/06 at 5:58pm
We sat next to someone who had such BAD BREATH that we were actually looking forward to him farting!
Appropriately enough the show was WICKED!!
"Your eyes..... they shine like the pants on my blue serge suit"
stonewall2
Broadway Star Joined: 9/12/04
#44'Please silence your...'
Posted: 11/14/06 at 6:01pmOK, I'll admit it- THIS is better than the woman who sat in back of me munching her way through numerous takeout containers of Thai food (I don't know, would that make one fart?!). GREAT thread, thanks for the laugh!
"I'm mad, you're mad. we're all mad"...
The Cheshire Cat
#45'Please silence your...'
Posted: 11/14/06 at 6:06pmNumerous containers? Did she set up a lazy susan?
#46'Please silence your...'
Posted: 11/14/06 at 6:09pm
Please don't stop eating garlic, just clean your mouth before going out in public!
And at least cough when you fart.
"It's not so much do what you like, as it is that you like what you do." SS
"Time flies like an arrow, fruit flies like a banana." GMarx
"Time flies like an arrow, fruit flies like a banana." GMarx
#47'Please silence your...'
Posted: 11/14/06 at 7:04pmTom Monster, your avatar could not have been more appropriate for that last comment (it looks like he's the one who's saying it).
Hey Dottie!
Did your colleagues enjoy the cake even though your cat decided to sit on it? ~GuyfromGermany
#48'Please silence your...'
Posted: 11/14/06 at 7:15pmhasn't it always been a general rule to bathe and not eat any inappropriate foods prior to one's theatre outing? people are so inconsiderate...
Mr Roxy
Broadway Legend Joined: 5/17/03
#49'Please silence your...'
Posted: 11/14/06 at 7:39pm
When I once had someone next to me practicing his own horn section, he got mad when I said " Please cut me off a piece of that if you will". He said " Well, I never" to which I said "You definitly did" He did not speak to me again . My father's rejoinder was always the same - "tight shoes"
I was devastated ( not )
Poster Emeritus
Updated On: 11/14/06 at 07:39 PM
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