Posted: 11/29/15 at 9:17pm
LizzieCurry said: "hork said: " (although even that can be annoying, if you're blocking someone's view behind you by leaning over). "
Especially if it happens repeatedly.
Exactly.
Posted: 11/29/15 at 9:18pm
No, Hork, I'm talking about whispering. But if someone says a few words to their companion that I can hear, once in a while, that's fine. We're not all robots.
Posted: 11/29/15 at 9:24pm
Jane2, if you can't hold onto your thought until intermission or final curtain, you should probably get a check up. Just because nobody had the stones to complain doesn't prove they weren't bothered.
Yes, I'm aware that professionals will speak softly with their colleagues while a show is in previews. And usually they are at the back of the house where their conversations will disturb the fewest people.
But you shock me when you assert that making side comments to your companions is an essential part of the theatrical experience! (Yes, I'm aware that customs vary in different cultures; even in Europe it was customary to chatter, flirt, make assignations with prostitutes, etc., during a show until Wagner turned off the house lights. But for the past 200 years, silence in the audience (except for certain occasions such as laughter at a joke) has been our custom.)
In fact, when I worked in box offices and a patron would balk at buying excellent seats because the seats were singles, I regularly reminded the patron, "You're not supposed to be talking to your neighbor during the show anyway."
Over 50 years of theatergoing, I can count on one hand the number of times I have spoken to a fellow audience member during a show--except in the work situations we've discussed. And even when working, I prefer to take written notes and discuss them after the show.
Posted: 11/29/15 at 9:26pm
"Leaning over and whispering to my friends and they to me is done all the time, and we'll keep doing it. In all the decades I've been attending shows, I"ve shared thoughts on occasion with friends and never, never, have I had anyone shush me, or given me a look for any reason."
Have you ever considered that there's a person behind you trying to watch a show between your heads, and that every time you lean together you obstruct their view? I can't tell you how many times I've wanted to knock the heads together of two morons doing exactly that in front of me at a show. Maybe you were there, Jane2.
Posted: 11/29/15 at 9:26pm
To Galveston - okey dokey!
Updated On: 11/29/15 at 09:26 PM
Posted: 11/29/15 at 9:29pm
"Have you ever considered that there's a person behind you trying to watch a show between your heads, and that every time you lean together you obstruct their view?"
Doubt it. I'm 5"1 '' I'm used to not being able to see anything most of the time also, since everyone in front of me is taller.
Posted: 11/29/15 at 9:36pm
I'm sure the audience talking has many causes, but I blame, at least in part, television. Most of us, even most posters at BWW, spend more time watching TV than live theater. We're used to talking to our companions during commercials, or even talking back to the screen at times. And there's no harm in doing so in private. (In fact, my beef with my husband is that he watches even the worst TV show in strict silence. My feeling is that if we must sit through SCREAM QUEENS, we should at least have the pleasure of making fun of it!)
Alas, the behavior carries over to the theater along with our expectation that content will come in neat, 2 to 10 minute chunks. No wonder people talk through overtures; they're used to doing so through opening credits.
Posted: 11/29/15 at 9:46pm
I just want to chime in and say I'm the same height as Jane2 and I still take into consideration the amazons that surround me.
xoxo
Posted: 11/29/15 at 9:46pm
Much like hotels and the Republican party, audiences are best with nobody in them.
Posted: 11/29/15 at 9:46pm
Confidential to Jane2:
I am 6'3" and entirely sympathetic to your sight problem. Without being asked, I will rearrange the seating of my party so that our shortest member sits in front of you and I sit in front of your tallest companion.
And I would happily trade seats with you, but that only pushes the problem back to the patron behind you.
A short, matinee lady once asked me if I could sit on the floor. Since the house had continental seating with wide spaces between rows, I replied, "Sure, I'll try it." As it turned out, I had no trouble seeing from my place on the floor and spent the second act there--no doubt violating every fire code in the book!
Posted: 11/29/15 at 9:46pm
Posted: 11/29/15 at 9:47pm
You're exactly right, Gaveston. When people talk during a movie (and yes, it's usually older people) as if they're watching TV at home, I just want to yell at them, "Why are you talking?! This is not your living room!" But I'm too shy and polite, and it would disrupt my enjoyment of the movie even more, so I don't.
Posted: 11/29/15 at 9:50pm
"I just want to chime in and say I'm the same height as Jane2 and I still take into consideration the amazons that surround me."
well now, Lizzie, you get TWO gold stars today!
Posted: 11/29/15 at 9:50pm
double
Updated On: 11/29/15 at 09:50 PM
Posted: 11/29/15 at 9:53pm
GavestonPS said: "Confidential to Jane2:
I am 6'3" and entirely sympathetic to your sight problem. Without being asked, I will rearrange the seating of my party so that our shortest member sits in front of you and I sit in front of your tallest companion.
And I would happily trade seats with you, but that only pushes the problem back to the patron behind you.
A short, matinee lady once asked me if I could sit on the floor. Since the house had continental seating with wide spaces between rows, I replied, "Sure, I'll try it." As it turned out, I had no trouble seeing from my place on the floor and spent the second act there--no doubt violating every fire code in the book!
"
Wow, you're much nicer than I am. I'm the same height as you, but if someone asked me to sit on the floor I'd say "hell, no!" I do feel bad about people sitting behind me sometimes, but not that bad.
Posted: 11/29/15 at 9:59pm
^^^ Jane2 is a longtime post here (and a valuable one, in part because of her extensive experience working in NY theater); she is neither a troll nor someone who picks a fight just to be contrary.
You know, my television comment above works both ways: if some patrons behave as if they were at home, eating, chatting, and squirming without regard for their neighbors, others act like they have a right to a perfect viewing experience, without distractions, just like the experience they can create at home on DVD.
I don't agree that talking to a neighbor should be an expected part of the theater experience. But by the same token, we should expect to maintain our concentration during minor distractions such as whispering or a partially blocked view. Even an occasional cough or mid-scene trip to the bathroom should be something we can survive.
Posted: 11/29/15 at 10:03pm
"Jane2 (assuming you're not a troll or a wise guy/gal), it is NOT okay to speak or even whisper during a performance. It is rude to the performers and others around you. An audience should be utterly silent, except for spontaneous emotional response such as laughter. TRY IT, Jane2. Decide that you will sit quietly during the play, and do it. You will get so much more out of the experience if you devote your attention to it. Thank you."
Oh my lord, people! Lordy Lordy Lordy! I know what is ok and what is not okay inside a theater. A lot more than most of you. I worked in theater management for over 10 years, and as I've mentioned several times, was house, concession and bar manager of a theater.
Get this straight - I am NOT saying it's ok to sit there and talk during a performance. It IS OKAY however, if you lean over for a few seconds to whisper something to a friend like, for instance "That's my cousin" or, I designed that dress", or something similar. If you can't stand that someone did that in front of you, then I'm sorry for you. I can't count how many theater audiences I've witnessed, and I don't think there was ever one in which there was no talking. It must be really difficult for some of you to enjoy yourselves.
On this entire topic, we'll agree to disagree. thank you.
Signed,
Jane the troll.
Posted: 11/29/15 at 10:05pm
p.s. thank you Gaveston
Posted: 11/29/15 at 10:10pm
hork said: ...Wow, you're much nicer than I am. I'm the same height as you, but if someone asked me to sit on the floor I'd say "hell, no!" I do feel bad about people sitting behind me sometimes, but not that bad.
"
Well, what I knew but the short lady did not, was that I worked for the theater and hadn't paid for my ticket, as she had for hers. So that tempered any righteous indignation I might have otherwise felt. Also, I'm a pretty casual, raised-in-the-60s & 70s sort of guy, so sitting on a floor is not a big deal to me.
But even when I do pay for my ticket, I try to negotiate with a short patron behind me. "Can you see best if I lean on one armrest or the other? What if I sit very straight in my seat? I'll do my best to stay in that position. Tap me on the shoulder if I forget." If nothing else, it seems to forestall any personal resentment in the patron behind me.
I must admit, however, that I prefer "arena seating" (for theater or movies) where I don't have to worry about the person behind me.
Posted: 11/29/15 at 10:15pm
Posted: 11/29/15 at 10:47pm
madlib, you can't imagine my disappointment! I was sure you would post on the growing problem of patrons talking aloud in libraries!
But while I sulk (kidding), I just want to point out that I started this discussion by arguing against talking during a show. You'll get no argument from me as to how I should behave during a show to avoid disturbing you.
I can think of some things that might help further: asking for front-row seats, putting together a group and buying an entire theater box, using the headphones that most large theaters now have for hearing-impaired patrons. Some theaters even have glassed-in booths that are used by people working on the show. You probably know more about this than I, but theaters where I have worked are very sensitive to compliance with ADA requirements. If you don't already, ask what they can do for you.
Speaking of which, do you think you have a right under the ADA to be free from distraction during a public event? If yes, would that right apply to sports events and stadium rock concerts? My personal experience with ADA rules is that they are rarely a hardship once people stop bitching and just put their minds to achieving compliance. But I must admit that achieving a distraction-free space at a public event is a head-scratcher for me. (To be clear, I'm not saying you DON'T have such a right; I'm saying I'm not sure how to achieve it beyond the examples I listed above, which are admittedly imperfect.)
***
Bottom line: I know I may seem to be arguing a paradox here, but I'm not. I think each of us should do what s/he can to avoid disturbing others in the audience, while simultaneously remembering that we are in a public space (i.e., like the subway) and perfect immunity from distraction probably isn't possible. (The exception to the above may be those with special needs, such as madlibrarian.)
Posted: 11/29/15 at 10:51pm
I go to the theatre to be transported and comments from a companion would interfere with the fantasy for me. At the risk of sounding brash, I see commentary as making the ephemerality of what's occurring on stage about one's self. I prefer to sit and to be still and to take part in the audience's collective experience. I can give my input at intermission or after the curtain has fallen.
Posted: 11/29/15 at 11:08pm
A lot of people confuse whispering with speaking at normal volume, except really breathy. Anyway, why people can't shut up I'll never understand. I go people sometimes who try to talk and I just nod in reply.
Posted: 11/29/15 at 11:08pm
"Have you ever considered that there's a person behind you trying to watch a show between your heads, and that every time you lean together you obstruct their view?"
Couples, it is not okay to have your arm around your partner's shoulder! Every time I go to the theater recently, I seem to be sitting behind a lovey-dovey, kissy-kissy pair of sweethearts out on a romantic date who spend more time making goo-goo eyes at each other than watching the show. Also, it's not okay to have your coat tossed over the back of your seat invading my space. Thank you!
Seriously, I'm always seated near morons. I sometimes think it's theater karma for some of my snarkier remarks on here. 
Posted: 11/29/15 at 11:19pm
I'm shocked to see a theater professional say it's ok to whisper to a companion during a performance. It's appallingly rude and self-centered. (Really, the comment about your dress does not have to happen during the show. Just tell your friend you designed the blue nightie in act 2 when you're having dinner before the show.) Just because no one has called you out on it doesn't mean people weren't disturbed by your behavior. There's always a calculation when someone is behaving badly in a theater whether shushing them will just make them defensive and escalate their behavior. There are a lot of assholes who think it's their right to tell their friend "that's my cousin" and will not react well to a request to be quiet.
