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Worst/Corniest/Cheesiest Line in a Show

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#1

Worst/Corniest/Cheesiest Line in a Show

Posted: 3/18/07 at 7:52pm

I have two favourites from shows that I've done;

GRACE & ANNIE: Cheese!
(Annie - it's such a randomline and not funny at all)


LOUIS: Mother, I don't think I shall ever be afraid again!
(The King and I - Oh Oscar, why?)
The rain we knew is a thing of the past -
deep-delving, dark, deliberate you would say
browsing on spire and bogland; but today
our sky-blue slates are steaming in the sun,
our yachts tinkling and dancing in the bay
like racehorses. We contemplate at last
shining windows, a future forbidden to no one.

Derek Mahon

"Maybe all one can do is hope to end up with the right regrets."

Arthur Miller
#2

re: Worst/Corniest/Cheesiest Line in a Show

Posted: 3/18/07 at 8:04pm

Oh, I'm a big fan of cheese. I know this is based on text from the novel, but I find:

"You are my life, my second self; oh, be my wife, my little elf"

from JANE EYRE quite hysterical and cheesy.
I get lost, unless, of course, I'm getting found.
#3

re: Worst/Corniest/Cheesiest Line in a Show

Posted: 3/18/07 at 8:06pm

**Shudders**
The rain we knew is a thing of the past -
deep-delving, dark, deliberate you would say
browsing on spire and bogland; but today
our sky-blue slates are steaming in the sun,
our yachts tinkling and dancing in the bay
like racehorses. We contemplate at last
shining windows, a future forbidden to no one.

Derek Mahon

"Maybe all one can do is hope to end up with the right regrets."

Arthur Miller
#4

re: Worst/Corniest/Cheesiest Line in a Show

Posted: 3/18/07 at 8:14pm

From ROCKABYE HAMLET:

"God son, when you go to France,
Keep your divinity in your pants"
Praying Decca Broadway will put "Don't Bother Me, I Can't Cope" on CD!
#5

re: Worst/Corniest/Cheesiest Line in a Show

Posted: 3/18/07 at 8:41pm

From DRS:

"Love is my legs and you are my love
So you are my legs, my love."

Deliciously AWFUL lyrics! HAHA!
"To love another person is to see the face of God!"
#8

re: Worst/Corniest/Cheesiest Line in a Show

Posted: 3/18/07 at 9:17pm

I understand that it's probably a pretty heavy moment for him, but is it really necessary for Roger, upon hearing that Mimi has been found dying, to go to the lip of the stage and shout "NOOOOOOO!!!"?

...and on pitch??

Just a thought that ran through my head at Rent yesterday. As it does every time.
"If there is going to be a restoration fee, there should also be a Renaissance fee, a Middle Ages fee and a Dark Ages fee. Someone must have men in the back room making up names, euphemisms for profit." (Emanuel Azenberg)
#11

re: Worst/Corniest/Cheesiest Line in a Show

Posted: 3/18/07 at 9:31pm


i'll get slapped for this one. my vote for cheesiest

But the line from wicked when they are gonna have punch

where norbert goes "apples, peaches, and pears" then glinda responds "oh my"
#12

re: Worst/Corniest/Cheesiest Line in a Show

Posted: 3/18/07 at 9:34pm

Really, any line from "Wicked" that references "The Wizard of Oz" is cheesy.

And really really, 90% of the lines in "Wicked" in general are cheesy.
"Your lyrics lack subtlety! You can't just have your characters announce how they feel! That makes me feel angry!"
#13

re: Worst/Corniest/Cheesiest Line in a Show

Posted: 3/18/07 at 9:37pm

I was going to say "I'd sooner buy defying gravity."

And the punch line is Boq and Nessa, not Fiyero and Galinda, by the way.

ETA: The line in 'Christmas Makes Me Cry' from BKLYN:
"Santa Claus is just a man wearing funny clothes..."
"I love acting. It's so much more real than life." -Oscar Wilde
"Get what? Sex? With you? AN OLD PERSON LIKE YOU? Good God." -Edith 'Big Edie' Beale, Grey Gardens

Updated On: 3/18/07 at 09:37 PM

#14

re: Worst/Corniest/Cheesiest Line in a Show

Posted: 3/18/07 at 9:37pm

iRuvPrinceton: Have you actually read the novel? In the context, those lines are beautiful.

I get annoyed that Mimi doesn't die, too. She dies in the opera!
Jimmy, what are you doing here in the middle of the night? It's almost 9 PM!
#15

re: Worst/Corniest/Cheesiest Line in a Show

Posted: 3/18/07 at 9:38pm

I love the song, but I don't like the line, "Like cats to cream" from Wheels of a Dream.
"Hey, you! You're the worst thing to happen to musical theatre since Andrew Lloyd Webber!" -Family Guy
#16

re: Worst/Corniest/Cheesiest Line in a Show

Posted: 3/18/07 at 10:00pm

Much as I LOVE Wicked, I must say that "There are bridges you cross you didn't know you crossed until you've crossed" made me laugh out loud the first time I heard it!

(and I agree about the corny Wizard of Oz puns as well!)
#17

re: Worst/Corniest/Cheesiest Line in a Show

Posted: 3/18/07 at 10:04pm

Nessarose:" What are you doing here"
Elphaba:" Well There's no place like home"
Gotta love Wicked even with it's cheezyness
#18

re: Worst/Corniest/Cheesiest Line in a Show

Posted: 3/18/07 at 10:06pm

ETA: The line in 'Christmas Makes Me Cry' from BKLYN:
"Santa Claus is just a man wearing funny clothes..."

Oh come on...that's pretty bad, but you have ALL of Brooklyn: The Musical to choose from and that's the worst you can come up with?
"If there is going to be a restoration fee, there should also be a Renaissance fee, a Middle Ages fee and a Dark Ages fee. Someone must have men in the back room making up names, euphemisms for profit." (Emanuel Azenberg)
#20

re: Worst/Corniest/Cheesiest Line in a Show

Posted: 3/18/07 at 10:11pm

This isn't REALLY a cheesy lyric but here's something that has always driven me crazy in one of my favorite shows.

In "A New Brain" when Rhoda answers the phone and Mr. Bungee is on the line, there is about a half second pause where she listens to him and then she spits out about 32 bars of dialogue! Drives me crazy, and that's one of my favorite numbers in the show!
#21

re: Worst/Corniest/Cheesiest Line in a Show

Posted: 3/18/07 at 10:12pm

I can't stand "ye gods" and "jeely kly" from the Music Man. Ulgh.
"If there was a Mount Rushmore for Broadway scores, "West Side Story" would be front and center. It snaps, it crackles it pops! It surges with a roar, its energy and sheer life undiminished by the years" - NYPost reviewer Elisabeth Vincentelli
#22

re: Worst/Corniest/Cheesiest Line in a Show

Posted: 3/18/07 at 10:16pm

OOOh. Yeah, that's a good one. I think it's "Ye Gads" but does it really matter? It's annoying whatever it is!

Updated On: 3/18/07 at 10:16 PM

#24

re: Worst/Corniest/Cheesiest Line in a Show

Posted: 3/18/07 at 10:22pm

"iRuvPrinceton: Have you actually read the novel? In the context, those lines are beautiful."

Ooh, yes, I have read the novel (and loved it), and I understand why the lyrics are there, but when I listen to the song, it just irks me. No other explanation.
I get lost, unless, of course, I'm getting found.
#25

re: Worst/Corniest/Cheesiest Line in a Show

Posted: 3/18/07 at 10:22pm

Footloose: Dancing is not a Crime. They took a beautiful monologue from the film and came up with this....

"...Y'know, King David?
Dave
He made a science outta
knockin' out giants
The bigger they come
The harder they fall
He didn't like math
or geography,
but, check this out:
He loved choreography!

Careful, Ren
There's a law
Now what were you saying
To Reverend Shaw?

...So he would dance
Hal-le-lu
Every time he had the chance
Whatever the season
or circumstance
He found a reason to throw
a party in his pants
And he'd dance
Par-tay!
He would dance
So dancing doesn't always
make you do nasties
Look at the Book of Ecclesiastes [my personal favorite]
Okaaay!

...It says it right here
Right here
Man doth dance
And it was good..."

[remember that this is where the audience is supposed to be most sympathetic to Ren--and they give him this to say. God bless Walter Bobbie director and co-writer. Why is he still allowed near new scripts?]



Updated On: 3/19/07 at 10:22 PM

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