best lines

#1

best lines

Posted: 5/7/08 at 12:58pm

i'm sure there are a gazillion threads with the funniest lines from specific musicals so i apologize but i was wondering if you could help me out
for a project my group is putting together a play that connects all the greatest lines in musicals into one big storyplot mix and mash
which are your favourite lines from any musical or play in general?

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"I dreamt I married a 5-year-old boy. He treated me like a queen and was perfectly lovely. We took a driving trip for our honeymoon. Then it dawned on me: 'Oh my God! He doesn't have a driver's license! We could get arrested!'" - megan mullally

#2

re: best lines

Posted: 5/7/08 at 1:21pm

well...i know it is cliche but..

'Well, we can't all just come and go by BUBBLE.' -Elphaba in wicked
and
"I was listening to the radio and it just reminded me of the way we were."
"Really? What was it?"
"The way we were."-Marie in song and dance

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"The good news is I have an excellent Tony speech. The bad news is I've had it for forty-five years."-Elaine Stritch

#3

re: best lines

Posted: 5/7/08 at 1:33pm

"... like they say in the Hamptons -- you are s**t outta luck, my dear": Velma Kelly in CHICAGO

#4

re: best lines

Posted: 5/7/08 at 1:45pm

From "The Lion in Winter"

Eleanor: [to her jewelry] I'd hang you from the nipples, but you'd shock the children.



and from "The Boys in the Band"

Harold: You're lips are turning blue. You look like you've been rimming a snowman.

Updated On: 5/7/08 at 01:45 PM

#5

re: best lines

Posted: 5/7/08 at 1:49pm

slow love slow, times have past. now goes quickly see now it's past- sweeney

why did i do it? where did it get me?- gypsy

the shadows bring the starlight and everything youve ever been is still there in the dark night- spring.

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"Those You've Known And Lost Still Walk Behind You"-Spring Awakening

#6

re: best lines

Posted: 5/7/08 at 1:50pm

"I was only trying to be a good mother!"

- The Witch from Into The Woods

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Just give the world Love. - S. Wonder

#7

re: best lines

Posted: 5/7/08 at 2:48pm

Dirty Rotten Scoundrels - The Bushes of Tex were nervous wrecks beacause their son was dim....but look what happened to him.

#8

re: best lines

Posted: 5/7/08 at 2:55pm

Keep it positive, let out your inner freak!-Legally Blonde

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"Everytime you step on that stage it is somebody's first Broadway show and somebody's last Broadway show. Make it count."

#9

re: best lines

Posted: 5/7/08 at 2:56pm

From Spelling Bee:

"Bobby, put down that phylactery, we Episcopalian!"

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"It does me no injury for my neighbour to say there are 20 gods or no god. It neither picks my pocket, nor breaks my leg." -- Thomas Jefferson

#10

re: best lines

Posted: 5/7/08 at 3:32pm

Maybe not exactly as I remember it, but: "All the demons in hell come back to haunt me!" - Mrs. Lovett, Sweeney Todd

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I know you. I know you. I know you.

#11

re: best lines

Posted: 5/7/08 at 3:33pm

thanks so much guys:)

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"I dreamt I married a 5-year-old boy. He treated me like a queen and was perfectly lovely. We took a driving trip for our honeymoon. Then it dawned on me: 'Oh my God! He doesn't have a driver's license! We could get arrested!'" - megan mullally

#12

re: best lines

Posted: 5/7/08 at 3:44pm

"Dwarves are very upsetting." - Into the Woods

#13

re: best lines

Posted: 5/7/08 at 3:52pm

Bitch, I do not know your life - Xanadu

The artichoke is steamed - Wicked

The new UPS guy is like walking porn - Legally Blonde

#14

re: best lines

Posted: 5/7/08 at 4:18pm

Just thought of another:

"If you don't say yes, I'm gonna have a heart attack that'll kill us both!" - Daisy, Side Show

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I know you. I know you. I know you.

#15

re: best lines

Posted: 5/7/08 at 4:20pm

Maureen and Joanne in RENT:

M: "It's a metaphor!"

J: "It's....it's less than brilliant.

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Hunter: Your teeth need whitening./ Heidi: You sound weird./ Jeff: You taste funny.
-Jeff Bowen's worst onstage line flub.

#16

re: best lines

Posted: 5/7/08 at 4:20pm

double post

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Hunter: Your teeth need whitening./ Heidi: You sound weird./ Jeff: You taste funny.
-Jeff Bowen's worst onstage line flub.

Updated On: 5/7/08 at 04:20 PM

#17

re: best lines

Posted: 5/7/08 at 4:20pm

triple post

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Hunter: Your teeth need whitening./ Heidi: You sound weird./ Jeff: You taste funny.
-Jeff Bowen's worst onstage line flub.

Updated On: 5/7/08 at 04:20 PM

#18

re: best lines

Posted: 5/7/08 at 4:20pm

how click happy could i possible be?

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Hunter: Your teeth need whitening./ Heidi: You sound weird./ Jeff: You taste funny.
-Jeff Bowen's worst onstage line flub.

Updated On: 5/7/08 at 04:20 PM

#19

re: best lines

Posted: 5/7/08 at 5:34pm

There were a lot of lines from Violet in Osage County that I adored. I forgot most of them unfortunately except for "There's an indian in my attic!". That line was great but really only works in context. There were many other better ones that I just can't remember.

Other than that, there were many lines from Xanadu. They are pretty well known but was (and this may not be the exact wording) "Oh please, next door at Gypsy, Patti Lupone hasn't even alienated her first daughter yet." That also really only works in context. Aside from that, the use of language was pretty funny. For example, this is another common one but "Oh snapeth" was great.

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"Perhaps, when we remember wars, we should take off our clothes and paint ourselves blue and go on all fours all day long and grunt like pigs." Kurt Vonnegut, Cat's Cradle

#20

re: best lines

Posted: 5/7/08 at 7:50pm

From How To Succeed
(1st time Joke)- So I said keep your hands where they belong
(2nd time Digusted)-So I said keep your hands where they belong
(3rd time Confused)-So I said keep your hands where they belong
So what the hell I'm having dinner with him

Best if done with different people every time

#21

re: best lines

Posted: 5/7/08 at 8:02pm

New York is the center of New York. -Gypsy
I met a count in Greenwhich Village he was a poet and a playwright and he said Edith I can make an honest woman out of you. I thought that was very decent. -Grey Gardens

#22

re: best lines

Posted: 5/7/08 at 8:24pm

As lame as it is, I loved "That was pure Vodka, you poop!"from The Drowsy Chaperone

"You can talk to birds?"- Into the Woods
"Dwarves are very upsetting" from Into the Woods
that's all i could think of...i'll be back later

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"I'm a bagel on a plate full of onion rolls!"-Funny Girl

#23

re: best lines

Posted: 5/7/08 at 8:33pm

Jersey Boys

We have liftoff!
(brief pause)
We have splashdown...

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Two roads diverged in a wood, and I? I took the one less traveled by, And that has made all the difference.

#24

re: best lines

Posted: 5/7/08 at 8:34pm

My favorite(not just one line) is from Spelling Bee:
OLIVE- I've been thinking does flagellate have one L or two? And that if you take the 'w' in answer, the 'h' in ghost, the extra 'a' in aardvark, and the 't' in listen, you could keep saying 'what', but noone would ever hear you, couase all the leters are silent.

#25

re: best lines

Posted: 5/7/08 at 8:53pm

"music in a musical how can we go wrong?" -[tos]
"kiss today goodbye. and point me towards tomorrow" - acl

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pop. six. squish. uh oh. sicero. lipshitz.