Dreaminaret's Review of "WITHOUT YOU" (very few [if any] spoilers)

[dreaminaret]

Posted: 1/26/06 at 8:40pm

Before I start anything, I might update this once the book is formally released to include more details about my reasons for how I feel. But I didn't want to have many spoilers. I bought the book at Strand last weekend and read it in a day and have been thinking about it a lot. I'm sure a lot of people will disagree with my review so feel free to post if your ideas differ or if you agree (or if you just want to flame me).

First, let me just say that I love Anthony Rapp’s work in theatre and film and highly respect him as a person. I also want to mention that I am a big fan of the memoir form and have read several memoirs (three in the past month alone) and have taken several non-fiction writing courses that have made me very critical when reading books. Therefore, I read Anthony’s book both from a literary perspective and a fan perspective. The other two memoirs that I read most recently were Joan Didion’s “Year of Magical Thinking” and Ruth Reichl’s (old NY Times Restaurant Critic and EIC of Gourmet) “Comfort Me With Apples,” so I may reference them from time to time.

There have recently been a surge of memoirs available and many take on one of two forms: they are either about a very big event (think: the highly scrutinized “A Million Little Pieces”) or written by someone with a big fan following and a lot of fame (such as Bill Clinton’s “My Life”). These each have their benefits and drawbacks, such as a celeb being a “lazy” writer since they know their fans will buy it anyways. Anthony’s book in a way is both because he has a lot of unique content in the book: being in the OBC of Rent, for example, but he also has a big fan following.

That said, I think that the content in Without You is great. The reader learns a lot about his experience in Rent, the loss of his mother, some of his family dynamics, and various relationships (friendship and romantic) in which he was involved. Given, the Rent Bible had a lot about the formation of Rent but I applaud Anthony in focusing in on himself and his experiences in Rent. Content-wise, he has a great story: he’s living his dream of being a working actor, but at the same time his life is crashing down as his mother is terminally ill. Plus, there are some skeletons in the closet.

Anthony is also very honest – it is clear from the beginning that there are no holds barred. After the hoopla around A Million Little Pieces (see the New York Times for more info) it is refreshing to read a memoir that you know is honest. However, I felt that at times Anthony was telling more than we needed to know. It’s not a “Too Much Information” sense of discomfort, but rather, if you are going to talk about a certain experience, there should be a purpose for it – such as propelling the memoir forward. For example, in one portion he is talking about some of his sexual experiences as a young teen and the first boy that he kissed. The story seemed to be one that resonated with him and had an impact, but just as he was getting to that point – the point that would explain so much about the way he dealt with other men and just about what had bothered him (or so I felt reading) – he just backed away. Thus, the placement of the little “flashback” had less of an impact to me. Thus, I think that he and the editor should have tried to either flush out these nuggets that were just waiting to explode or omitted them so that they didn’t seem like a break in the narrative.

Another problem that I felt was the narration. There is this mantra that is said in any writing workshop: “show versus tell.” Rather than just telling us about how you felt, what you were doing, SHOW US. There were times that he did just that – such as on page 286 of the book (I’m going to try and omit spoilers) – and you are just in his brain and are right THERE with him and it’s amazing. Joan Didion had a similar “stream of consciousness” type narrative and it just brings out this raw and honest dynamic that is so powerful. There were definitely parts of “Without You” that did just that and those parts were phenomenal. However, most of the time I felt like there was too much telling and not enough showing. He talked a lot about going to his hometown of Joliet, Illinois but never described it. Yeah, it may not be the most interesting thing but I could not envision him in this scenario. To mention Ruth Reichl’s memoir, she just described everything in pristine detail and again, you felt like you were with her and reliving the moments alongside her. Because there was not much scene descriptions and – for lack of a better word – character development (aside from his mother who I felt like I knew when I finished the book) I did not feel like I was going through the book with Anthony by my side. Instead, I felt like there was a glass window between me and the author and that I was peering into someone’s life but could not really delve into it and therefore was just a distant bystander. An autobiography can do just that – let you see someone’s life at a distance. A memoir (in my opinion) is supposed to connect you to the writer and really be with them the entire time.

As you all know, Anthony has a great voice – he is an excellent speaker and very honest and passionate about his work. Based on the bits that I thought were absolutely gorgeous I feel like he is capable of writing a book that has a narrative that just sweeps you away and connects you to him. I do not think that he was lacking this in the book intentionally, as if he didn’t feel comfortable enough to really bring us with him, but instead that in the editing process this was either overlooked or not thought to be an issue. Which bothers me for the following reason: if he had people close to him editing it and reading it over (he thanks Mr. Larson and others in the acknowledgements) then they could forgive this because they either know more about his life than us and don’t realize that the narrative is difficult to connect to on the most basic level. I think that a lot of die-hard Anthony fans will also not realize this because as you’re reading you’ll remember how he spoke/acted at an engagement that you attended. But a reader without any knowledge of Anthony, or Anthony’s life, or his work will feel alienated from the story because it will not envelope him or her. There were too many points when he was telling his story rather than showing us his bare emotions and so you don’t know him at the end of it. You know his story, you know the EVENTS that occurred, but you don’t know him. It seems weird to say because someone foreign to Anthony’s work wouldn’t know some details that he told if he just showed everything, but I think that they would feel a true sense of reality at the end rather than reading a summary of his life off a placard.

I also had a small issue with the ending – I think that it would have been stronger had he just ended it in the time period that the story ended, and if he wanted to talk about his current situation he could have done so more effectively in an afterword. This again is what separates a memoir from a magazine article or any other form of media. Yeah, we all want to know about Anthony’s current life but the place in which is was inserted did not “go with the flow.” The epilogue is about filming Rent and was placed well because it was separate from the memoir. So should have been the case for the notes on his current life.

All in all I think that it is worth the read for anyone who enjoys Anthony’s work and him as a person. However, I wish he went chapter by chapter and just wrote for himself with no audience (or possibly publishable content) in mind and really pinpointed how he felt. Because then I think that the book would be beyond interesting and instead would be phenomenal.

[luvtheEmcee]

Posted: 1/26/06 at 8:44pm

I'm confused... but maybe something changed between the advanced copy and the real thing. The epilogue jumped, but... I don't remember the ending jumping. Then again, I finished that book at four in the morning.

[orangeskittles]

Posted: 1/26/06 at 8:55pm

Yeah, I thought the notes about his current life were after the part about filming Rent. Did they change that from the advance copies, or am I thinking of the wrong part?

[dreaminaret]

Posted: 1/26/06 at 8:58pm

I don't have the book in front of me, but the Epilogue was about filming Rent. The update was in the last paragraphs of the last chapter. I'll look again tonight and repost if I'm wrong.

[Whiteboy Spice]

Posted: 1/26/06 at 11:35pm

Edited: I meant to send the post as a pm. Oops!

Hey there to everyone. I have not forgotten about you all. I just needed to take a break from some of the public discourse after the intensity of the film's release. Hope that's understandable.

To those of you who were in Vermont or Florida, THANK YOU for showing up in such overwhelming numbers. Your support has been incredible.

Hope your 2006 is going fantastically well.

Take care --

Anthony Updated On: 1/26/06 at 11:35 PM

[luvtheEmcee]

Posted: 1/26/06 at 11:42pm

*waves*

I've missed you!

oh, and dreaminaret -- I think I was just completely confused.

Updated On: 1/26/06 at 11:42 PM

[orangeskittles]

Posted: 1/26/06 at 11:47pm

Hey Anthony! Good to hear from you again!

Maybe I should read the whole book before commenting, but Em and I had a lengthy conversation regarding the epilogue part. I'm blaming her for confusing me

Updated On: 1/26/06 at 11:47 PM

[luvtheEmcee]

Posted: 1/26/06 at 11:47pm

Oh, also!

Here's another really extensive Without You thread... maybe we can merge some of the discussion, as more people start to read the book.

https://forum.broadwayworld.com/readmessage.cfm?thread=876654&boardname=off

ETA -- sorry, skittles! The epilogue's sentimental for me.

Updated On: 1/26/06 at 11:47 PM

[Fantabulous428]

Posted: 1/26/06 at 11:49pm

*waves* If only you knew the drama your absence has caused.

And I second the merging of the threads, as I suspect many more reviews will be appearing within the next couple of weeks.

[luvtheEmcee]

Posted: 1/26/06 at 11:50pm

My review.... God, I hope it makes sense.

[Mandi Moo]

Posted: 1/26/06 at 11:50pm

*waves too*

I can't wait to read the book. That is all.

Posted: 1/26/06 at 11:58pm

Mandi, I'm sorry, but I wonder what Anthony is thinking about your avatar right now. (Sorry! I had to.)

Anyway... Anthony, it's nice to see you back on the boards. This lone (well, almost...) Rent fan in North Dakota already pre-ordered your book. I can't wait to read it.

[luvtheEmcee]

Posted: 1/26/06 at 11:59pm

Mandi, Mandi, Mandi....

I can't wait to read the book again!

[orangeskittles]

Posted: 1/26/06 at 11:59pm

Well, SD, Mandi's av came along when YOU got the Maria's mixed up

[luvtheEmcee]

Posted: 1/27/06 at 12:01am

I think someone should tell Adam about the mistake.

[Mandi Moo]

Posted: 1/27/06 at 12:01am

I wonder if he realizes who it is.

ETA: I think someone should too, Em.
Updated On: 1/27/06 at 12:01 AM

[Shiksa Goddess2]

Posted: 1/27/06 at 12:02am

*joins the waves* I've read the except of your book, and I gotta tell you it is just amazing! I can't wait to read the whole thing.

[Fantabulous428]

Posted: 1/27/06 at 12:03am

Nun!Adam holds such a dear place in my heart. I love that it amuses us so much, and confuses everyone else just as much - if not more.

[gertrudejessalynn]

Posted: 1/27/06 at 12:04am

Yay for inside jokes, heh. I wonder where/if Anthony's book will be available in Johnstown, Pa. I want it the day it comes out!

Posted: 1/27/06 at 12:07am

Ugh, please, don't tell Adam! Do you know how embarassing that was? Heh.

[luvtheEmcee]

Posted: 1/27/06 at 12:12am

We can tell him I did it. I'm good at embarassing myself!

[Shiksa Goddess2]

Posted: 1/27/06 at 12:15am

Wait I'm confused, SD what was your icon?

[Billboard Girl]

Posted: 1/27/06 at 12:15am

Heh. I bet most of the people reading this thread have no clue what we're talking about

[opiv]

Posted: 1/27/06 at 12:16am

I heart Nun!Adam

[sweetestsiren]

Posted: 1/27/06 at 12:16am

She just provided the inspriration for Mandi's icon, Shiksa.