The Six Worst Types of Theatergoers

[chanel]

Posted: 7/22/11 at 11:36am

Funny stuff--and true.

http://blogs.villagevoice.com/dailymusto/2011/07/the_five_worst_6.php

[spike3]

Posted: 7/22/11 at 12:51pm

yep the ones who cant go 90 min -2 hrs without filling their fat pie holes with food and drink. I cant stand people that bring food and drink to their seat. Its a Broadway theatre, not AMC 25 on 42nd St.

[Q]

Posted: 7/22/11 at 12:55pm

"The ones who've seen the show before and want to let the whole theater know that they know what's coming."

Along those lines, I'd also nominate those who want everyone to know how VERY strongly they are being emotionally affected by it all - the 'competitive sobbing syndrome'.

[nomdeplume]

Posted: 7/22/11 at 3:31pm

People who are too big for their seats so whose flesh is spreading into yours.

The old geezers who, even though they have a theatre hearing aid headset, keep yelling "What? What did he say? I can't hear what he said!" to their wives, even during songs.

People who drag huge backpacks, coats, pocketbooks and bags of junk into the theatre and attempt to put their stuff in front of your feet or spilling into your chair. Yes, I said attempt.

Tall people who sit in front of you (or women with up-dos). Oughtta be a law.

Snorers.

Phelm-atics

Wheezers.

Latecomers who block your view or otherwise disturb you. Good luck with trying that at the Metropolitan Opera.

[spike3]

Posted: 7/22/11 at 3:45pm

Nom you are so right about the Met. Went to the ballet back in June and none of the crap that is allowed to go on in Broadway theatres occured. It was a joy!

[threetwoone]

Posted: 7/22/11 at 3:51pm

"Tall people who sit in front of you (or women with up-dos). Oughtta be a law."

Woah woah woah. I'm 6'4", Yes, I feel bad if a tiny old lady is directly behind me, but what am I supposed to do? I can't slouch usually because my knees hit the seat in front of me and can't go any farther, nor would I want to. Slouching for 2.5 hours would not be good for my otherwise terrible posture. I paid good money for my seat and will sit as comfortably as I choose, within the confines of my seat of course.

[Q]

Posted: 7/22/11 at 3:54pm

Yes, the 'tall people' thing doesn't fit with this grouping. It's not a choice.

[uncageg]

Posted: 7/22/11 at 3:57pm

The ones who decide to turn their cell/smart phones ON right after the lights go down. Had that happen a few times, most recently at Spiderman. I made her turn it off. Of course, she wasn't happy about it.

[Q]

Posted: 7/22/11 at 4:03pm

"Of course, she wasn't happy about it."

Isn't that a pity.

Confession - I sometimes secretly hope they throw back some attitude about it, just so I can unload and vent a little steam.

[nomdeplume]

Posted: 7/22/11 at 4:54pm

It doesn't have to be a choice. It's the worst types of theatregoers--haha.

And if they are tall and are sitting in front of you and you aren't, that's one of the worst types!

[DefyGravity777]

Posted: 7/22/11 at 4:54pm

"Tall people who sit in front of you (or women with up-dos). Oughtta be a law."

I take it you are short? What are tall people like me supposed to do. Cut our legs off just to make you happy you can see?

[nomdeplume]

Posted: 7/22/11 at 5:01pm

Just because you may be one of the worst types for me to stuck behind in a theater doesn't make you a bad person.

As for my height, I yam what I yam.

(And by the way, it's your torso not your legs that is what makes you tall when you are seated.) Updated On: 7/22/11 at 05:01 PM

[DefyGravity777]

Posted: 7/22/11 at 5:08pm

"As for my height, I yam what I yam."

As are tall people.


"It doesn't have to be a choice. It's the worst types of theatregoers--haha. And if they are tall and are sitting in front of you and you aren't, that's one of the worst types!"

This is one of the most stupid things I ever heard.
Get an aisle seat so you can look around tall people. Better yet get seat in the last row so you can stand up to see if you need to.

[nomdeplume]

Posted: 7/22/11 at 5:11pm

You silly beanpole.

I gather absurdist humor has not yet been on your menu.

[wendilin622]

Posted: 7/22/11 at 5:13pm

My mother and I (both vertically challenged) were at La Cage a year or so ago. A man, who was at least 6'5" went to sit down in front of us, turned around and said "Oh no, this won't work." His entire party then rearranged seats just so he wouldn't be in front of us.

While being tall doesn't deserve to be on that list, we could not stop thanking him. There is no way either of us would have been able to see if he hadn't had moved.

There are some good people out there folks.

[nomdeplume]

Posted: 7/22/11 at 5:17pm

Hey! That's MY list.

If you don't want it on your own list, that's your bizness, interlooper.

[SeanMartin]

Posted: 7/22/11 at 8:05pm

Okay, true story:

I and my then-b/f had gone to see the film version of CABARET at this rep art house in SF many years ago. In front of us by a couple of rows was a pair of little old ladies, one of whom had a hearing aid whose battery went out about fifteen minutes into the film... at which point it came down to:

WHAT ARE THEY DOING NOW?

THEY'RE SAYING THEY'RE GOING TO BERLIN,

OH!... WHAT ARE THEY DOING NOW?

THEY'RE SINGING A SONG!

OH!

... and so one for the whole film. The audience seemed to be in a forgiving mood, so we all accepted with the occasional laugh. But then we get to the scene where Liza and Mike are arguing about Max and he says "Screw Max" and she says "I have" and he responds with "So have I"...

WHAT ARE THEY DOING NOW?

I DONT KNOW! I DIDNT HEAR!

IT MUST HAVE BEEN SOMETHING IMPORTANT! EVERYONE'S LAUGHING!

I DONT KNOW! JUST WATCH THE FILM!

Oh God, we were all dying to tell her what he said.....

[wonkit]

Posted: 7/22/11 at 10:03pm

My two recent favorites:

The woman who would not stand up to let me get to my seat, and then complained because I trod on her toe. The rows in most Broadway theaters are really not wide enough for me to get past you while you are seated, unless you are 6 years old or otherwise 4'8".

Another woman at a Wednesday matinee who complained about having to get up to let me get by by moaning, "Couldn't you have gotten here earlier?" when it was 1:48 pm. Sorry - the doors only opened at 1:40.

Posted: 7/24/11 at 9:33pm

I truly don't understand people who won't stand for you when you find your seat. Maybe if you get up constantly during a show, I get that, but after intermission? I had one very surly looking couple give me dirty glares as I came back to my seat after intermission--while I tried my best not to step on their toes.

[iflip4musicals]

Posted: 7/24/11 at 9:43pm

I had something similar happen to me at Jerusalem awhile ago. A woman wouldn't move/stand up for me to move past her, and as I tried to walk over her my knee hit hers. For the rest of the performance, she elbowed me and knocked my leg ever so slightly to let me know she was still annoyed. If she had just moved, there wouldn't have been a problem. silly.

edit: And at Oklahoma! at Arena today, there was a guy behind me singing along to the title song. I understand everyone knows it, but I didn't pay to hear him sing it. I just can't comprehend why people think that is okay.

Updated On: 7/24/11 at 09:43 PM

[Q]

Posted: 7/24/11 at 10:20pm

If someone doesn't move, I don't go out of my way to avoid them - if they get hit, they get hit. Oh, well.

[michellek45]

Posted: 7/24/11 at 10:36pm

I went to the Rent evening performance on Saturday, and, along with the "RENThead" singers you'd expect, everyone started clapping when the piano part in La Vie Boheme began. Plus, there were some guys behind me who kept cat-calling Mimi during really inappropriate moments, like in the middle of Another Day.

[Vespertine1228]

Posted: 7/24/11 at 10:42pm

A comment on the height issue: I am 6'4" and one of my least favorite things is being talked about like I'm not sitting a foot in front of you.

People have been so rude to me over the years. I have no control over where I sit. Please don't tell me to move to another seat or confront me during the intermission.

[NGeorgiaBwayFan]

Posted: 7/25/11 at 10:40am

Vespertine, my husband is 6'7" and we've had the same kind of thing where people talk or make snarky comments. He can't help it that he's tall. As a matter of fact, we had to move out of our really good seats at the Neil Simon because his legs are physically too long to sit in the seats there. Some nice folks in our row switched with us to put him on the aisle, trying to help, but he just couldn't fit in the seat, his legs are so long. We had to sit at the very back of the house in the loose seats in the seating area for the handicapped. It was so nice to pay full price for better orchestra seats and end up on the back row all the way at the left side. It sucks to be a broadway fan if you're tall. (Oh, and forget about sitting in the mezz or balcony)

[nomdeplume]

Posted: 7/25/11 at 11:16am

Sucks to be tall, sucks not to be tall.