A Message From ~Caldwell~ — Page 4

well, that's why its the second bestest song.

you culd lern to sing "Deeflying gravy" but it wuld be hard to hoyst you up and all, because your too-kas and your boobies wuld be waying you down. plus, you have to reelly scream

how do we git you to fly then?

i think i need to leaf the sok-hop b4 you krash then. you might skream lowder than ideena on lSd

i wuz in bak of the skool today playing wif myself again sinze noone wud play wif me 2day and i hurd Lenny Schmearwitz frum the jewish skool across the street tell Marty Mazelburg that Madeleine Rosenblatt has krabs and that isn't kosha


-jack

Updated On: 9/13/04 at 10:22 AM

I am going to ignore all talk about me being a slut because it is all most the holidays and we are supposed to forgive people. In school today the evil social studies teacher Mr. Rabinowitz walked into our noisy class, got mad and raised his eyebrow and gave "the look". The class didnt quiet down so he did it again. Still the class was noisy. He did it a third time and the class didnt shut up. His eyebrow froze that way and they had to take him to the hopital and put him in eyebrow traction. He will be gone for 3 months. My mother is busy getting ready for the holidays. She is cooking like a mad woman and spraying Windex on the plastic furniture coverings to make them shiny. She even puts out guest towels in the bathroom but we cant use them because they are for company. My Grandparents will be coming in from Brooklyn to spend the holidays with us. She calls me Mamaleh which means little mother in Yiddish. Other people have also called me a mother but not the way Grandma does. Grandma is a funny lady. She doesnt like to ride the subways because they have giraffee written on the cars. Grandpa only talks when Grandma answers for him. Aunt Arline will be there too if she can stay out of a museum long enough. That is all she ever does,go to museums. She and Mom are sisters. She always says she is a better person than Mom is. I think I wou;ld like to put Aunt Arline in a museum.

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i think she is talking about the high holy moley days

You grils over at B'nai Bris were proaly wonderin why there were police cars and amulances at St Welfares today. Well, it was quite tragik: They was serving sloppy joes at lunchtime and Sister Imminent Demise was sitting at the table with all the other nuns when her friend Sister Mary Mayonnaise told a funny story. Sister Imminent Demise had just taken a bite out of her sloppy joe when the other nun came to the punchline and Sister Imminent Demise started laughing so hard that she chocked on her sloppy joe. Everyone started to panik and the gym teacher, Brother Testosterone, tried giving her the Hym-lick maneuver but it was too late. The nun died with her face in the uneaten sloppy joe. It was sad. Really it was. I mean this woman looked like she was dead and now she really was--with tomatoe sauce all over her face. That really grossed me out! Brother Purity got on the PA system and had everyone recite the Serenity Prayer before he closed school for the rest of the day.

It looks as though the funeral will be on Thursday and school will be closed, so I'll be able to attend synegoggle with Madeleine.

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Caldwell, I am so sorry to hear about Sister Imminent Demise's demise while eating sloppy joes. If she had been eating brisket that wouldnt have happened. Anyway, I am glad you wont have school on Thursday and we can go the sysnagogue together. If you need to cry because Sister died, you can cry on my shoulder. Just dont let Shaquannah see you do that, you know how she can be. School today was ok. I found out we are doing Fiddler on The Roof again this year. That doesnt suprise me because Bnai Bris has been doing every year for over 35 years. You would think they woul;d pick another musical.

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I thought it was Sister Castrati!!!!!!! I have heard that lovely soprano voice and thought it was a singing nun. Somes I go in early for choir practice with Cantor Bassowitz and I can hear a lovely voice coming from your schools music room.

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Oh, Brother Castrati has a really nice voice, but he also plays alot of Maria Callas recordings in the morning and dances around the music room whenever Callas sings "Musetta's Waltz" from LA BOHEME. Whenever I see him do that I think of the dancing hippoppottamusses in FANTASIA. He doesnt wear a tootoo, though.

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I love movies but my Uncle Dollypop hates them and wont let me watch any at home or go to the multiplex to see them. Maybe we could rent some films and see them at your houose?

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ok caldwell DONt lissen to me. see whut you get.

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ha - at LEEST

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