A Message From ~Caldwell~- Page 2

[The Grovers Corners Yenta]

Posted: 9/10/04 at 9:30pm

My bras set off metal detectors in airports. So you like big boobies? All the girls in my school love my boobies, especially the lebanese. ~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Madeleine~~~~~~~~~

[The Grovers Corners Yenta]

Posted: 9/10/04 at 10:16pm

Caldwell has been making snotty remarks about my tuchas and boobies. I think he likes me!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!~~~~~ Madeleine~~~~~~~~~~~~~

[Rathnait62]

Posted: 9/10/04 at 10:45pm

Hellooo? Does NO ONE notice MY tukas and boobys????? crissake.

shaquanna the great~~

[The Grovers Corners Yenta]

Posted: 9/10/04 at 11:05pm

Shaquannah.you ignorant slut! Caldwell likes me, not you! I heard that Fruma Sarah Titzlinger likes you and that you are both Lebanese! ~~~~~~~~ Madeleine~~~~~~~~~~

Updated On: 9/10/04 at 11:05 PM

[Rathnait62]

Posted: 9/11/04 at 11:48am

madeleine evereeyun nos that Titzy is a lesbianese. and that i surtanly am NOT. NOT NOTNOTNOTNONTONTONTONTONTONOT. AND i don't liek caldwell like that eether!! so shut up!!!!

let's not eeven get innto yor repyutayshion.

SHAQUANNA THE AWWSUMEST~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Updated On: 9/11/04 at 11:48 AM

[The Grovers Corners Yenta]

Posted: 9/11/04 at 2:08pm

You are a tramp Shaquannah!! And I hope you get cramps so bad that they have to take you to the hopsital in an amblance. I have a good reputation. And if you dont believe me, ask Reb L. Withoutacause at school.~~~~~~~~`Madeleine~~~~~~~

Updated On: 9/19/04 at 02:08 PM

[Rathnait62]

Posted: 9/11/04 at 3:27pm

omg you are SUUUUUCH a litle beyatch. just cuz my borther wounn't feel you up is not my fault!!!!!!

[kissmycookie]

Posted: 9/11/04 at 10:37pm

I herd that if you poke Madeleine's too-kas with a pin, schmaltz comes out

[kissmycookie]

Posted: 9/11/04 at 10:55pm

its so hard being a agnostik at St. Welfares. nobodies want to play wif me. And the jewish kids across the road keep runing me over in theyre towncars. I saw this kid named Caldwell the other day, becuz borther Purity made him cleaned the walls. He looked nice to play wif. he has big hands. No one wants to play wif me. the genitals won't play wif me, the jewish kids won't play wif me. Most of the time, I haf to play wif myself.

Jack Meoff

[Dollypop]

Posted: 9/12/04 at 1:19pm

Jack, you know that Brother Purity says its a sin to play with yourself, so stop doing it. Its very important to lead a virtuous life.

Yesterday was an un-LOL day. Thinking about what happened on NYC three years ago depressed me. When I was going to Our Lady of Food, it was really near the Financial Districk in Manhattan and we saw all the garbage that was taking place that day. It was really horrable and rembering it all yesterday made me feel very sad. Uncle Dollypop took me out to this big holy shrine we have on Long Island and we sayed a few prayers and I felt a little better but not much. But when we got home he made this stuff Madeleine was talking about called beef brisket and it was really good. I mean REALLY good! He took the receipt out of a Jewish cookbook and all I can say is those Jewish mamas really know what to do in the kitchen! There were no leftovers at all!

Now I have to do a report on what life is like on the Island of Lesbos. All I can think of is that's where the lesbians come from.

TTYL.

~Caldwell~

PS--Do you like the new avatar? It's the pitcher my uncle had took when he was in Scotland. It's a real pitcher, but it was taken in front of a fake backdrop at the Edinburgh Woolen Mills. I think he;'s wearing the tartan of Clan McCormack, or somethin like that. He'll kill me when he finds out I posted it here!

[junglered]

Posted: 9/12/04 at 2:41pm

Oh well hullo Callwell,

It's so nice to have you home where you belong! We missed you sometnin awful. Seems like lotsya folks round her have gotin in a rut talkin bout who's a hot shot or who's gaye and who's not (gavin's gaye , gaye, gaye I tell ya!!), and why taht Carey is better than Bush). You know ,My couzin does some Bush bashin every day. i'm glaad that you've britened up our day with new topix!!! LOL!! well, iv'e gots to go - time to fix a mess of collards and matzoh-ball soup for my chillrun.

Luv - XOOO,
Pipsi

[Dollypop]

Posted: 9/12/04 at 2:48pm

Pipsi, I rember you! We had a very intellchual discushion on Ditmars Avenue. Rember? It was about weather Coke was better then Pepsi, right Pipsi? What was the outcome?

[junglered]

Posted: 9/12/04 at 3:00pm

Oh gosh, Callwel, yorre making me blush!!! I cannt bulieve you remember me!! LOL!! Why - Pepsi one the tatstye test over coke at my block partie, but Ummm I don't no witch one goes bettur with ManM's. Do u think green mandms r hot!!?? I here taht Idina likes green m-and-ms best! They make her feel wicked!!! How r things on Ditmar Ave.??? I'd love to meat you agin, butt my boyfiend wood beet me up agin if I treid to sneek out ouf my trailer wiffout purmision agin. I feel jest like Peny Pingeltonn in hairspay!!!! LOL!

XOOO
-Pipsi

[Dollypop]

Posted: 9/12/04 at 3:10pm

Pipsi, we dont want yur bfriend to beet you up. Thats rude and uncalled for. Mebbe you could come to the sock hop were planning with the Jewish kids who go to the Bris school across the street from St. Welfares. The only problem is we cant have on a Friday nite because thats the nite they call "Savage" and they have to go home and lite candles and stuff. You shood here the grils when there leaving skool on Fridays. They say things like "Good Savage, Fern". I relly didn't think Fern was savage until Madeleine explained it to me. They also eat somethin called Holly Bread that night. If its anything like the brisket my uncle made last night, its really good stuff!

~Caldwell~

Updated On: 9/12/04 at 03:10 PM

[junglered]

Posted: 9/12/04 at 3:28pm

Hi Callwell,

Ooooh a sock hop!!! Soundz like funn!! Cain i where my pooldle skirt??? Its bin hangin in my clossit sinse i dont no when!! LOL!! Will Elvus be there??? I think his muzaks dreemie!! Hunka , hunka, burnin luv!!! LOL! I'mm soooo excited, (I just caint hide it)) about that new show on Broadway next yaer called all shoook up!!! Do you thank Idina is gonnabe in it??? You know I here shes Jewish! Do u think she makes good holly bread and briskat?? Maybe Idina can come toi teh sockhop too!!! Taht wuld be sooo amazing!!!

Write back soon!!
XOOO

Pipsi

[Dollypop]

Posted: 9/12/04 at 3:33pm

It would be soooo kewel to have Idina come to our sock hop!!!! Im gonna write to her and invitate her!!!! BTW: Did you know that there writing a follow-up to WICKED and there gonna call it WACK IT? I just know its gonna be amazing! (Do you think Idina's skin is really green? Or does she just make it turn that color for the show?)

~Caldwell~

Updated On: 9/12/04 at 03:33 PM

[junglered]

Posted: 9/12/04 at 3:50pm

Hi Callwell,

Im sooo excitrd about Idinna coming to the sock-hop!!! Doo you think shell brinh Taye??? He's soooo hot!!! Did you no taht hes on a TV sohw this fall??!!! I think Idinnas skin is natarally green form eatting all those gren Mand Ms! LOL!!! She is soooo sweet - she always sings my playball when I meet her outside the gerrswin theter. I'm soooo glad gald that Kirstin is gone from Wickud. Now evrybody nos who is the BEST which in Wickud!!! I cant wate for WHack IT!! That is sooo amazing!!! LOL!

Goota run now, Callwell. Talk to you soon, punkin!

Luv XOOO
Pipsi

[The Grovers Corners Yenta]

Posted: 9/12/04 at 4:36pm

Yesterday was Shabbos and I went to our synagogue. It is called Temple Beth Youismywomannow. The Rabbi there is a woman. I had never had a woman Rabbi before but I like her very much. She wear a tallis just like the men do. All the women over the age of 13 wear one. She says I should wear one too. Rabbi spoke about the bad thinbs that happened on 9/11. We said Kaddish for all the people that died then. It is a prayer you say to remember peope who have died. My mother is busy getting ready for Rosh Shaquannah. She has been baking fresh Challah. Caldwell calls it Holly.....but most genitals do. I am inviting him for dinner on that day. I kinda like him and I think maybe he likes me. It is hard because he is not Jewish. Fruma Sarah Titzlinger says I should not even be speaking to him because he is not Jewish and their god killed the Jews. I thought we all had the same one. But he seems to be a very nice boy. I started my diet today because that is my new years resolution. For breakfast I had 3 bagels with low fat cream cheese, lox, whitefish, herring and french toast. For lunch I had cheese blintzes with sour cream and a low carb Slimfast. ~~~~~~~~~~~Madeleine~~~~~~~~~~~

Updated On: 9/12/04 at 04:36 PM

[Dollypop]

Posted: 9/12/04 at 5:09pm

On a diet like that I can tell that Madeleine Rosenblatt is gonna lose wait. We Christians have another diet, its called the Diet of Worms. I dunno how effective it is.

And Madeleine, my uncle says i can celebrate Rosh Shaquanna with you, especially if it means a visit to Temple Beth Youismywomannow. Im lookin forward to some more brisket of beef. That stuff is gooooood!

Meanwhiles, I'm doing research about the island of Lesbos. Its in Greek, you know. Everyone who lives there is called a Lesbian--even the men. So if you want to meat a male Lesbian you have to go to the Island of Lesbos. Who was Sappho?

I think everyone should start eating green Eminems and see if our skin turns green like Idinas. She's amazing!

~Caldwell~

[newyorkuniq]

Posted: 9/12/04 at 5:14pm

What is Matzo?? We don't have that at Saint Augustine's Catholic School :P We do get green mashed potatoes on Saint Patricks day though.

[Dollypop]

Posted: 9/12/04 at 5:22pm

Wheres St. Augustines school? its not near St. Welfares or the B'nai Bris Yeshiva, is it?

[Dollypop]

Posted: 9/12/04 at 5:27pm

The Church of the Poison Mind is really named "The First Church of the Gooey Death and the Discount House of Worship For You Soul". It's located in Billings, Montana.

~Caldwell~

[newyorkuniq]

Posted: 9/12/04 at 5:32pm

At Saint Augustines School our priest had to leave to go to rehab for a drinking problem. He got addicted to the church wine. I still want to know what a matzo is.

[The Grovers Corners Yenta]

Posted: 9/12/04 at 5:48pm

Caldwell, I am so happy you are coming to synagogue with me on Thursday morning. Be ready about 9 am. This means you wont have to go to St Welfare's school that day. But I am sure Brother Purity wont mind. You get to wear one of those little hats called a kippah or yamulke. We do a lot of singing and praying im Hebrew, but there is always an English translation. WE also blow the chaffeur. It is a rams horn and it makes the most awsome sound! After services you can come back to our house. My Mom is making her famous brisket, potato kugel, chicken soup with kreplach and honey cake. We also have to have a green veggie, so she is serving pickles. We also have Challah. { NOT HOLLY}. It is also tradition for dip an apple in honey and eat it for a sweet year. ~~~~~~~~~~~~~Madeleine~~~~~~~~

Updated On: 9/12/04 at 05:48 PM

[The Grovers Corners Yenta]

Posted: 9/12/04 at 5:55pm

To answer your question NewYorkuniq,matzo is unleavened which is bread made without ingredients. We eat it at Passover. It is very constipating and that is why Moses kept screaming to the Pharaoh : LET MY PEOPLE GO~~~~~Madeleine~~~~~~~~~~~

Updated On: 9/13/04 at 05:55 PM