#101
Posted: 3/13/08 at 4:55pm
And Shawk...the difference would be?
America's Next Top Model Cycle 10 — Page 5
#102
Posted: 3/13/08 at 5:02pm
Clarie is an early favorite, but I think it's too early to tell.
Remember Nnenna from Cycle 6?
Remember Nnenna from Cycle 6?
#103
Posted: 3/13/08 at 5:02pm
Generally there isn't a ticker tape to tell third graders what to recite?
'"Contrairiwise," continued Tweedledee, "if it was so, it might be; and if it were so, it would be; but as it isn't, it ain't. That's logic."'
~Lewis Carroll
#104
Posted: 3/13/08 at 8:45pm
The Meat Photo shoot was RIDICULOUS. Normally… or once in a while they have interesting photo shoots. Could they bore me any more?? How is that interesting at all? Any ways... What I think about the girls that are left…
Aimee- I don’t know how she is going to make it in the real world… She won’t let any one see her naked... yet how is she going to change in for runways? If you don’t feel comfortable getting naked in front of others, simply don’t be a model. I hate when people complain about things when they knew what was coming. Signing up for America’s Next Top Model it says in the application, or rules or whatever that you will take pictures, semi- nude, or nude… If you’re Mormon, that’s fine, but modelling doesn’t seem to agree with your morals, then you are doing the wrong thing.
Amis was kicked off at the end of the day. I don’t get it though. Amiee and Fatima had WAY worse pictures, I guess they judge all weeks together, not week to week. She was my favourite because I thought she was some what funny, relatable… But she takes stuff too far. Her walk at the fire station was so incredibly stupid, I believe she was trying to make a point like, “I don’t care, I am always happy, and that’s all that matters.” Her make over made her look like every other girl. She should have had some scene hair cut or something. Yeah whatever, get ready in 20 minutes, But why not throw something on like black tights and a long shirt or just jeans and a plain black shirt with her hair up. STUPID. It was always like she knew she was going and wanted to leave and be “cool”.
Anya- I don’t know how she got the first picture… they always tell girls that no neck monsters are the worst, and she had NO NECK. In the past… cycle 6 with Danielle, Tyra was really on Danielle for her southern accent and said that there would be no way she could make it in the industry with her accent, then what the heck is Anya going to do??
Claire- I thought Claire by far had the best picture, she models with every part of her body, from her eyes to her feet. It was the only picture that made the meat photo shoot interesting. Claire can make awkward, weird faces and still turn it out.
Dominique- She pretty much seems like a slut. After the fire house thing, she said, “I just wanted to take it off.” PLEASE. She is soooo cocky she makes me sick. She looks older than 48 year old mother. She said that her bottom two was the best in ANTM history. UGH I can not stand this girl. Every pose has to be sexual. Sitting on the meat? Cellulite in the pervious photo shoot. I didn’t know that there really was people like her walking around talking about themselves. She has to go, she is so annoying.
Fatima- Hearing her story the first episode I actually cried. It made me sick to my stomach that this little girl had parents that had sex to create her but still had the nerve to think it was okay do that. I also wanted to kill Allison when she said, ‘I’M BLACK I LIKE IT IN THE BUTT.” I found that to be more hurtful to Fatima than any word in the book because that probably is the only way she can have any sort of sex. Thank goodness Allison was kicked off… But even though I feel terrible for Fatima, I probably dis like her the most in the house. She complains about everything. Something is wrong with her in the head. She got ACTUALLY mad and hurt that Whitney stuck up for Aimee. Serious problems. She by far had the worst picture in ANTM history … 10 times worse than Amis. That goes to show that is isn’t just based on pictures. I can’t believe she thought it was okay to stick out her bottom teeth like that. Jay even told her DON’T DO THAT and yet she still did and lied to panel saying, “Oh they might have said something.” She is TERRIBLE inside and out.
Katarzyna- She is simply beautiful. Her walk is amazing. She has such a classic look. I love the beauty mark on her face. She kinda reminds me of Cycle 5 Cassandra Whitehead who quit. She rocks. I thought her face looked kinda weird in her picture thought and that she is prettier in person. Also I don’t think that her sexual photograph in the previous photo shoot was her fault. The photographer was like obsessed with her, kinda a creeper.
Lauren- I think her picture was great… But my God. She can not be a model. If she can’t walk, why are they wasting her time and all the other girls? Her walk is simply ridiculous. She reminds me of Shandi from Cycle 2, but much more boring, Shandi was more open about everything and over all a better model. She also kinda reminds me of Misha Barton for some reason. Lauren’s voice kills me. She sounds like she took 4 valume and 3 shots of vodka and is trying to talk. Jaslene was right, “DOES SHE WANT TO BE HERE.” I don’t understand how someone can’t walk. Her pictures are great though. Sad.
Marvita a.k.a MARVIN- I still think that Marvita’s real name is Marvin and I am waiting for her to have to do a naked shoot and be screwed because she has a penis. She is annoying, rude, and gross. Marvin needs to go away.
Stacey Ann- She is likeable because her little voice and her cute little lap dance noise thing, but she is so weird looking! Her face is long latitude wise. LIKE THICK like a block. I dunno. She is very different looking, I didn’t think in a good way.. But I dunno.
Whitney- I can’t believe someone called her white trash? It was either Fatima Or Dominique, I don’t remember. I know that in the previews for next week I believe Dominique calls her racist even though she said she looked white trash? THAT’S RACIST. Why is she white trash, because she has blonde hair? I love how she stuck up for Amiee and could care less what the other girls think. Her picture was bomb. I like her a lot. She’s striking and really stands out in the crowd.
All in all…. Fatima, Dominique, and Marvin have terrible personalities and pictures to match.
Katarzyna and Claire and going to be the last two. And Whitney 3rd.
Lauren, Stacey Ann, Anya, and Aimee are boring as all hell and forgettable.
Aimee- I don’t know how she is going to make it in the real world… She won’t let any one see her naked... yet how is she going to change in for runways? If you don’t feel comfortable getting naked in front of others, simply don’t be a model. I hate when people complain about things when they knew what was coming. Signing up for America’s Next Top Model it says in the application, or rules or whatever that you will take pictures, semi- nude, or nude… If you’re Mormon, that’s fine, but modelling doesn’t seem to agree with your morals, then you are doing the wrong thing.
Amis was kicked off at the end of the day. I don’t get it though. Amiee and Fatima had WAY worse pictures, I guess they judge all weeks together, not week to week. She was my favourite because I thought she was some what funny, relatable… But she takes stuff too far. Her walk at the fire station was so incredibly stupid, I believe she was trying to make a point like, “I don’t care, I am always happy, and that’s all that matters.” Her make over made her look like every other girl. She should have had some scene hair cut or something. Yeah whatever, get ready in 20 minutes, But why not throw something on like black tights and a long shirt or just jeans and a plain black shirt with her hair up. STUPID. It was always like she knew she was going and wanted to leave and be “cool”.
Anya- I don’t know how she got the first picture… they always tell girls that no neck monsters are the worst, and she had NO NECK. In the past… cycle 6 with Danielle, Tyra was really on Danielle for her southern accent and said that there would be no way she could make it in the industry with her accent, then what the heck is Anya going to do??
Claire- I thought Claire by far had the best picture, she models with every part of her body, from her eyes to her feet. It was the only picture that made the meat photo shoot interesting. Claire can make awkward, weird faces and still turn it out.
Dominique- She pretty much seems like a slut. After the fire house thing, she said, “I just wanted to take it off.” PLEASE. She is soooo cocky she makes me sick. She looks older than 48 year old mother. She said that her bottom two was the best in ANTM history. UGH I can not stand this girl. Every pose has to be sexual. Sitting on the meat? Cellulite in the pervious photo shoot. I didn’t know that there really was people like her walking around talking about themselves. She has to go, she is so annoying.
Fatima- Hearing her story the first episode I actually cried. It made me sick to my stomach that this little girl had parents that had sex to create her but still had the nerve to think it was okay do that. I also wanted to kill Allison when she said, ‘I’M BLACK I LIKE IT IN THE BUTT.” I found that to be more hurtful to Fatima than any word in the book because that probably is the only way she can have any sort of sex. Thank goodness Allison was kicked off… But even though I feel terrible for Fatima, I probably dis like her the most in the house. She complains about everything. Something is wrong with her in the head. She got ACTUALLY mad and hurt that Whitney stuck up for Aimee. Serious problems. She by far had the worst picture in ANTM history … 10 times worse than Amis. That goes to show that is isn’t just based on pictures. I can’t believe she thought it was okay to stick out her bottom teeth like that. Jay even told her DON’T DO THAT and yet she still did and lied to panel saying, “Oh they might have said something.” She is TERRIBLE inside and out.
Katarzyna- She is simply beautiful. Her walk is amazing. She has such a classic look. I love the beauty mark on her face. She kinda reminds me of Cycle 5 Cassandra Whitehead who quit. She rocks. I thought her face looked kinda weird in her picture thought and that she is prettier in person. Also I don’t think that her sexual photograph in the previous photo shoot was her fault. The photographer was like obsessed with her, kinda a creeper.
Lauren- I think her picture was great… But my God. She can not be a model. If she can’t walk, why are they wasting her time and all the other girls? Her walk is simply ridiculous. She reminds me of Shandi from Cycle 2, but much more boring, Shandi was more open about everything and over all a better model. She also kinda reminds me of Misha Barton for some reason. Lauren’s voice kills me. She sounds like she took 4 valume and 3 shots of vodka and is trying to talk. Jaslene was right, “DOES SHE WANT TO BE HERE.” I don’t understand how someone can’t walk. Her pictures are great though. Sad.
Marvita a.k.a MARVIN- I still think that Marvita’s real name is Marvin and I am waiting for her to have to do a naked shoot and be screwed because she has a penis. She is annoying, rude, and gross. Marvin needs to go away.
Stacey Ann- She is likeable because her little voice and her cute little lap dance noise thing, but she is so weird looking! Her face is long latitude wise. LIKE THICK like a block. I dunno. She is very different looking, I didn’t think in a good way.. But I dunno.
Whitney- I can’t believe someone called her white trash? It was either Fatima Or Dominique, I don’t remember. I know that in the previews for next week I believe Dominique calls her racist even though she said she looked white trash? THAT’S RACIST. Why is she white trash, because she has blonde hair? I love how she stuck up for Amiee and could care less what the other girls think. Her picture was bomb. I like her a lot. She’s striking and really stands out in the crowd.
All in all…. Fatima, Dominique, and Marvin have terrible personalities and pictures to match.
Katarzyna and Claire and going to be the last two. And Whitney 3rd.
Lauren, Stacey Ann, Anya, and Aimee are boring as all hell and forgettable.
#105
Posted: 3/13/08 at 10:56pm
Barbie, It was Dominique that called Whitney "White Trash"
I also agree with you about Stacey-Ann, but I still like her! However, if she and Anya make it to the commerical episode, I fear for them!
Also, for ANTM die-hard fans, I think the best bottom two came in Cycle 5, when Jayla and Nicole were in the bottom 2 and NEITHER went home!
I also agree with you about Stacey-Ann, but I still like her! However, if she and Anya make it to the commerical episode, I fear for them!
Also, for ANTM die-hard fans, I think the best bottom two came in Cycle 5, when Jayla and Nicole were in the bottom 2 and NEITHER went home!
#106
Posted: 3/13/08 at 11:14pm
"she said she looked white trash? THAT’S RACIST"
LOL, this is the first I ever heard that white trash is a race~
LOL, this is the first I ever heard that white trash is a race~
<-----I'M TOTES ROLLING MY EYES
#107
Posted: 3/13/08 at 11:18pm
<-----I'M TOTES ROLLING MY EYES
#108
Posted: 3/14/08 at 9:14am
Oh Thanks MTVMANN I knew it was one of the two… And yes that was definitely the best bottom two of course. Or in cycle 9 When Ebony and Ambreal were in the bottom two and Ebony won but still left and Tyra (even though it didn’t matter, because Ambreal left like two shows over) let Ambreal stay. I thought that definitely would win the most awkward bottom two ever. Two seasons in a row with girls quitting! The only time before cycle 9 was Cassandra Whitehead in Cycle 5. Watching Stacey Ann and Anya in a commercial would be torture.
Jane2- I don’t understand how you don’t understand what I am saying. If a white person said a racist term to a black person that person would then be called a racists. NOT A RACE. That like saying, “I didn’t know the N word was a race.” NO SH*T. White trash is still an offensive word, and someone who says it, like the other situation can be called a racist. I understand that white trash isn’t a race. Thank you for that.
Jane2- I don’t understand how you don’t understand what I am saying. If a white person said a racist term to a black person that person would then be called a racists. NOT A RACE. That like saying, “I didn’t know the N word was a race.” NO SH*T. White trash is still an offensive word, and someone who says it, like the other situation can be called a racist. I understand that white trash isn’t a race. Thank you for that.
#109
Posted: 3/14/08 at 10:28am
Um, thinkin that was probably a joke, barbie...
#111
Posted: 3/14/08 at 10:37am
I didn't say it was a GOOD joke...
#112
Posted: 3/14/08 at 10:39am
Barbie, white trash is a term which refers to class, not race.
I noticed you joined here yesterday. Is that a picture of you in your av?
I noticed you joined here yesterday. Is that a picture of you in your av?
<-----I'M TOTES ROLLING MY EYES
#114
Posted: 3/14/08 at 10:55am
yes... thats me... great. why.
Updated On: 3/14/08 at 10:55 AM
#115
Posted: 3/14/08 at 10:57am
Actually, I know some white trash people who have some white trash parents.
So, in that sense, I'd say White Trash was a race. At least, it's genetics.
Anyway, welcome to the boards, Barbie.
So, in that sense, I'd say White Trash was a race. At least, it's genetics.
Anyway, welcome to the boards, Barbie.
"Writing is like prostitution. First, you do it for love, then you do it for a few friends, and finally you do it for money." ~ Moliere
#116
Posted: 3/14/08 at 11:02am
Look it up Nitsua.
<-----I'M TOTES ROLLING MY EYES
#117
Posted: 3/14/08 at 11:03am
I know it's not a race. Duh.
We can all agree that Britney Spears is white trash because her parents are white trash. And their parents were probably white trash.
It runs in her 2 dollar jeans.
We can all agree that Britney Spears is white trash because her parents are white trash. And their parents were probably white trash.
It runs in her 2 dollar jeans.
"Writing is like prostitution. First, you do it for love, then you do it for a few friends, and finally you do it for money." ~ Moliere
#118
Posted: 3/14/08 at 11:04am
Or in her 2 dollar genes!
<-----I'M TOTES ROLLING MY EYES
#119
Posted: 3/14/08 at 11:05am
Exactly.
"Writing is like prostitution. First, you do it for love, then you do it for a few friends, and finally you do it for money." ~ Moliere
#120
Posted: 3/14/08 at 10:02pm
I saw Bianca from Cycle 9 in midtown today. We were totally star-struck, heh.
A work of art is an invitation to love.
#121
Posted: 3/26/08 at 10:02pm
I think I'm officially bored with this cycle. Even the glorious NYC backdrop isn't doing it for me.
#122
Posted: 4/2/08 at 1:13pm
Ok, I'm back and it's time to break it down...
Where did I leave off? STEAK PANTIES! YAY!
So the girls had a runway lesson in front of some firemen and the results were predictable. Fatima tried to cover up her faux pas of not wearing the correct shoes rather pathetically. Lauren still can't walk nor even attempt to pretend to walk like a model, apprently. Anus skipped because she is oh-so-cute and different, not to mention completely clueless and a waste of space. More on that later.
Big argument regarding Aimee and the shower because...well, I'm not sure. It sounded like people were completely put out because there are only three bathrooms and one girl wants to take a shower without the other girls hanging around and going potty next to her naked body. I still don't see how that is too much to ask. First, Aimee simply requested that if anyone needs to use the bathroom before she showers, then go ahead. Plus, there are two other bathrooms and since everyone was sitting around arguing, it didn't appear that the need to use any of them was urgent, so what's the big deal? Whitney sticks up for Aimee and Fatima starts criticizing her for being the one to stir things up. (Glass house: "Fatima, put down that rock this instant! Someone get that crazy bitch out of here!")
Runway Challenge: Lauren's a mess and gets read by Jaslene, who basically just blurts out the most popular Top Model criticism out of a need for something smart to say. Fatima hilariously buttons up her top wrong, looking like the personal assistant who got plastered and was "annually reviewed" by her boss in the copy room during the company holiday party, Anus has an "outer body" experience (sigh), and Katarzyna wins and chooses Marvita and Anus to join her, knowing this is probably their only shot at getting anything from this show.
Why is it that EVERYONE mispronounces Katarzyna's name? It's not like she hasn't told them time and again, nor is it that difficult to remember. Apparently, Jaslene was coached on how to mispronounce her name as well, because I don't think stupid people would even pronounce it that way. This bugs me to no end.
The girls pose wearing meat in what is supposed to be an edgy statement on the treatment of models, but...well, they're models. And I don't mean that in a bad way, but treating someone like "a piece of meat" means basically to objectify them in a superficial way. So, how do models get jobs without being objectified? Anyway, only Aimee has a problem with the meat-clothes, so it wasn't as hilarious as I hoped. Fatima doesn't stop snarling, no matter how many times they tell her and juts out her bottom teeth exactly like my dearly departed Lhasa-Apso, Ginger. Awww. We had her 21 years and I do miss her. Anyway, Lauren predictably rocks the shoot. Stacy Ann fake-screams and is "pose-y", Anus hasn't a clue and looks an utter fool, Dominique sits directly on the meat and that's...good? Whatever. The rest are ok. The whole shoot is pretty unremarkable.
Anus decides not to get up and get ready for judging because she has never watched a single episode. To punctuate her ignorance and lack of awareness, she dresses up like the cast of Godspell trying to reenact Michael Jackson's video for "Beat It". The panel berates her for looking absolutely hideous at judging and go on to tell her that her meat photo is ass (or "anus"). Fatima is thrown into the bottom two for looking like a lap dog in her photo and not taking direction, but it's all for show. Anus gets a huge kick in the...self...and is practically shoved out the door.
More after a word from our sponsor, which will hopefully have nothing to do with anything known as "Wetslicks" or "Saleisha"...
Where did I leave off? STEAK PANTIES! YAY!
So the girls had a runway lesson in front of some firemen and the results were predictable. Fatima tried to cover up her faux pas of not wearing the correct shoes rather pathetically. Lauren still can't walk nor even attempt to pretend to walk like a model, apprently. Anus skipped because she is oh-so-cute and different, not to mention completely clueless and a waste of space. More on that later.
Big argument regarding Aimee and the shower because...well, I'm not sure. It sounded like people were completely put out because there are only three bathrooms and one girl wants to take a shower without the other girls hanging around and going potty next to her naked body. I still don't see how that is too much to ask. First, Aimee simply requested that if anyone needs to use the bathroom before she showers, then go ahead. Plus, there are two other bathrooms and since everyone was sitting around arguing, it didn't appear that the need to use any of them was urgent, so what's the big deal? Whitney sticks up for Aimee and Fatima starts criticizing her for being the one to stir things up. (Glass house: "Fatima, put down that rock this instant! Someone get that crazy bitch out of here!")
Runway Challenge: Lauren's a mess and gets read by Jaslene, who basically just blurts out the most popular Top Model criticism out of a need for something smart to say. Fatima hilariously buttons up her top wrong, looking like the personal assistant who got plastered and was "annually reviewed" by her boss in the copy room during the company holiday party, Anus has an "outer body" experience (sigh), and Katarzyna wins and chooses Marvita and Anus to join her, knowing this is probably their only shot at getting anything from this show.
Why is it that EVERYONE mispronounces Katarzyna's name? It's not like she hasn't told them time and again, nor is it that difficult to remember. Apparently, Jaslene was coached on how to mispronounce her name as well, because I don't think stupid people would even pronounce it that way. This bugs me to no end.
The girls pose wearing meat in what is supposed to be an edgy statement on the treatment of models, but...well, they're models. And I don't mean that in a bad way, but treating someone like "a piece of meat" means basically to objectify them in a superficial way. So, how do models get jobs without being objectified? Anyway, only Aimee has a problem with the meat-clothes, so it wasn't as hilarious as I hoped. Fatima doesn't stop snarling, no matter how many times they tell her and juts out her bottom teeth exactly like my dearly departed Lhasa-Apso, Ginger. Awww. We had her 21 years and I do miss her. Anyway, Lauren predictably rocks the shoot. Stacy Ann fake-screams and is "pose-y", Anus hasn't a clue and looks an utter fool, Dominique sits directly on the meat and that's...good? Whatever. The rest are ok. The whole shoot is pretty unremarkable.
Anus decides not to get up and get ready for judging because she has never watched a single episode. To punctuate her ignorance and lack of awareness, she dresses up like the cast of Godspell trying to reenact Michael Jackson's video for "Beat It". The panel berates her for looking absolutely hideous at judging and go on to tell her that her meat photo is ass (or "anus"). Fatima is thrown into the bottom two for looking like a lap dog in her photo and not taking direction, but it's all for show. Anus gets a huge kick in the...self...and is practically shoved out the door.
More after a word from our sponsor, which will hopefully have nothing to do with anything known as "Wetslicks" or "Saleisha"...
"What can you expect from a bunch of seitan worshippers?" - Reginald Tresilian
Updated On: 4/2/08 at 01:13 PM
#123
Posted: 4/2/08 at 4:21pm
Moving on...
Dominique starts us off by telling Stacy Ann and Whitney how confident she is and wants to stay in the competition and other such nonsense all the while referring to herself in the third person as if she herself is not in the room. Why do people do that? If it is to make oneself sound more important, it usually has the opposite effect on me. I'm like, "Why are you saying your own name? You're right there. I can see you. You're even using your own mouth. Do you realize that? Or am I...speaking to...someone new?"
Marvita talks about her hard life again. You know what? Until you have been screamed at by Tyra herself after you have already been eliminated, then you obviously have not known misery. Just kidding. Seriously, I sympathize with Marvita mostly because I can see what a cruel joke Tyra has played on her by giving her hope of winning. Honestly, did anyone think Marvita would be the girl to pull off a Jaslene? Did anyone think the producers would let it happen twice? Casting her this time was just mean.
Pose lesson with our favorite Paris is Burning cast member, Benny Ninja! (If you do not get the Paris is Burning references, then shame on you! Rent the movie today.) He needs to eat some doughnuts. That boy is too thin. He can teach Whitney to pose and she can teach him to debone a chicken without using her hands. There is an assortment of individuals with Benny whose relevance is certainly questionable, but undoubtedly they are fierce. Whitney is compared to Anna Nicole, which is so wrong. Whitney is pretty. The girls pose and most of them predictably suck. Lauren is so cute. She doesn't know jack. It's like watching Amish porn. It would be so tragic if it weren't so darn precious.
Then we have The Phone Incident. Apparently, Whitney made up a schedule of phone time, 15 minutes per wannabe, and Dominique missed her time slut. SLOT! Time slot! I'm so embarassed. Anyway, Dom bitches about this to no end and how she has a son and nobody can understand how that makes her more important than anyone else (Claire?). And Dom just goes on and on and on until somehow she decides that Whitney is racist for saying Dom is "uneducated". Two things: Education is not a race; by jumping to the conclusion that "uneducated" means "black", doesn't that actually make Dom the racist? And didn't Dom refer to Whitney as "white trash", which actually is a racist remark? Anyway, Whitney's smartest move would have been to shut up and let Dom dig a hole for herself as she was already doing, but she accidentally blurts out the worst of all possible lines of white racists around the world, "My best friend is black!" While that may actually be true, it doesn't help her case one bit. At any race, RATE! At any rate! Dom is constantly told she looks like a drag queen. Add that to being an annoying bitch and I can see why the dude GIRL! I meant to say "girl"! stresses out on occasional.
There is a pose challenge with a head-to-head (or face-to-crotch) pose-off. I don't really get the scoring or what is going on other than some drag queens dropped a few hits of ecstasy, turned on some house music and start shouting and waggling their "fierce" fingers. At one point, Whitney does the splits (impressive) and Fatima shoves her...genital mutiliation...in Whitney's face. I...won't say any more about that. Whitney wins that round. She deserves a medal for it as well. Kuh-TAR-shin-uh gets freaky all over the place and scores four points so naturally...Claire wins the entire thing despite having scored only one point. Wait...what? She even gets a real prize like a trip to Bora Bora. Seriously kids, those drag queens are your brains on drugs. Just say no, bitch!
Marvita drinks a forty. Fatima calls her "ghetto". Well, that takes some of the pressure off Whitney, doesn't it?
The photo shoot is about stripping away all of the crazy elements of modeling, such as...well, exactly what the girls have to do in this shoot. Ugly makeup and plexiglass hairpieces and bright paint being glopped all over them. What are these photo shoots about, anyway? I mean, if you're just going to throw together something random because the aborted fetal pig truck didn't show up that morning, then just be honest with us. I can smell Jay's platinum-orange BS from Chicago. And it smells like Creamsicles. Marvita shows up in some sort of incognito costume and acts all Les Miserables. Because no doubt, Mister Jay will be so sympathetic.
Dom does well, which we hate, and Marvita can't seem to get it together. She's given up completely. But the best part comes in judging. When viewing the photos at panel, we discover that FATIMA HAS HAIRY PITS!! HAHAHAHAHAHA!!!! I mean, she totally forgot to shave her pits (how do you plan to be a model, go to a photo shoot, and not think of shaving your pits?) and tries to cover by saying she thought it would be touched up. Twiggy ain't there, honey. There is NOBODY on that panel who would save you the embarassment of not shaving your pits. That was priceless! Marvita's photo is just awful. She looks like she just won the lottery, then was told that she looked at the numbers for the wrong day. It is the most deflated defeated photo I've seen in the history of Top Model. Whitney is put in the bottom two as a matter of form, but you knew the moment Marvita showed up to the shoot dressed in mourning clothes that it was the end of the line for her. You know Whitney was standing there like, "Blah blah blah, just hand me the stupid picture already, I need to sit my ass down!"
I'm almost caught up, you guys!
Dominique starts us off by telling Stacy Ann and Whitney how confident she is and wants to stay in the competition and other such nonsense all the while referring to herself in the third person as if she herself is not in the room. Why do people do that? If it is to make oneself sound more important, it usually has the opposite effect on me. I'm like, "Why are you saying your own name? You're right there. I can see you. You're even using your own mouth. Do you realize that? Or am I...speaking to...someone new?"
Marvita talks about her hard life again. You know what? Until you have been screamed at by Tyra herself after you have already been eliminated, then you obviously have not known misery. Just kidding. Seriously, I sympathize with Marvita mostly because I can see what a cruel joke Tyra has played on her by giving her hope of winning. Honestly, did anyone think Marvita would be the girl to pull off a Jaslene? Did anyone think the producers would let it happen twice? Casting her this time was just mean.
Pose lesson with our favorite Paris is Burning cast member, Benny Ninja! (If you do not get the Paris is Burning references, then shame on you! Rent the movie today.) He needs to eat some doughnuts. That boy is too thin. He can teach Whitney to pose and she can teach him to debone a chicken without using her hands. There is an assortment of individuals with Benny whose relevance is certainly questionable, but undoubtedly they are fierce. Whitney is compared to Anna Nicole, which is so wrong. Whitney is pretty. The girls pose and most of them predictably suck. Lauren is so cute. She doesn't know jack. It's like watching Amish porn. It would be so tragic if it weren't so darn precious.
Then we have The Phone Incident. Apparently, Whitney made up a schedule of phone time, 15 minutes per wannabe, and Dominique missed her time slut. SLOT! Time slot! I'm so embarassed. Anyway, Dom bitches about this to no end and how she has a son and nobody can understand how that makes her more important than anyone else (Claire?). And Dom just goes on and on and on until somehow she decides that Whitney is racist for saying Dom is "uneducated". Two things: Education is not a race; by jumping to the conclusion that "uneducated" means "black", doesn't that actually make Dom the racist? And didn't Dom refer to Whitney as "white trash", which actually is a racist remark? Anyway, Whitney's smartest move would have been to shut up and let Dom dig a hole for herself as she was already doing, but she accidentally blurts out the worst of all possible lines of white racists around the world, "My best friend is black!" While that may actually be true, it doesn't help her case one bit. At any race, RATE! At any rate! Dom is constantly told she looks like a drag queen. Add that to being an annoying bitch and I can see why the dude GIRL! I meant to say "girl"! stresses out on occasional.
There is a pose challenge with a head-to-head (or face-to-crotch) pose-off. I don't really get the scoring or what is going on other than some drag queens dropped a few hits of ecstasy, turned on some house music and start shouting and waggling their "fierce" fingers. At one point, Whitney does the splits (impressive) and Fatima shoves her...genital mutiliation...in Whitney's face. I...won't say any more about that. Whitney wins that round. She deserves a medal for it as well. Kuh-TAR-shin-uh gets freaky all over the place and scores four points so naturally...Claire wins the entire thing despite having scored only one point. Wait...what? She even gets a real prize like a trip to Bora Bora. Seriously kids, those drag queens are your brains on drugs. Just say no, bitch!
Marvita drinks a forty. Fatima calls her "ghetto". Well, that takes some of the pressure off Whitney, doesn't it?
The photo shoot is about stripping away all of the crazy elements of modeling, such as...well, exactly what the girls have to do in this shoot. Ugly makeup and plexiglass hairpieces and bright paint being glopped all over them. What are these photo shoots about, anyway? I mean, if you're just going to throw together something random because the aborted fetal pig truck didn't show up that morning, then just be honest with us. I can smell Jay's platinum-orange BS from Chicago. And it smells like Creamsicles. Marvita shows up in some sort of incognito costume and acts all Les Miserables. Because no doubt, Mister Jay will be so sympathetic.
Dom does well, which we hate, and Marvita can't seem to get it together. She's given up completely. But the best part comes in judging. When viewing the photos at panel, we discover that FATIMA HAS HAIRY PITS!! HAHAHAHAHAHA!!!! I mean, she totally forgot to shave her pits (how do you plan to be a model, go to a photo shoot, and not think of shaving your pits?) and tries to cover by saying she thought it would be touched up. Twiggy ain't there, honey. There is NOBODY on that panel who would save you the embarassment of not shaving your pits. That was priceless! Marvita's photo is just awful. She looks like she just won the lottery, then was told that she looked at the numbers for the wrong day. It is the most deflated defeated photo I've seen in the history of Top Model. Whitney is put in the bottom two as a matter of form, but you knew the moment Marvita showed up to the shoot dressed in mourning clothes that it was the end of the line for her. You know Whitney was standing there like, "Blah blah blah, just hand me the stupid picture already, I need to sit my ass down!"
I'm almost caught up, you guys!
"What can you expect from a bunch of seitan worshippers?" - Reginald Tresilian
Updated On: 4/2/08 at 04:21 PM
#124
Posted: 4/2/08 at 5:00pm
** bows down to Mister Matt **
"Years from now, when you talk about this - And you will - Be kind. "
#125
Posted: 4/2/08 at 5:11pm
Mister Matt, your episode recaps made my day!
Thanks, and I can't wait for the next!
Thanks, and I can't wait for the next!
Fear no more the heat o' the sun,
Nor the furious winter's rages;
Thou thy worldly task hast done,
Home art gone and ta'en thy wages:
Golden lads and girls all must,
As chimney-sweepers, come to dust.
~Cymbeline
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