America's Next Top Model Cycle 10- Page 8

[Mister Matt]

Posted: 4/17/08 at 12:48pm

If you do make it back in time, whatever you do...DON'T WASH YOUR HAIR!!

[doodlenyc]

Posted: 4/17/08 at 12:51pm

My lawyer's workin' on it...while I'm waiting, I'm gonna look very sad, bitch, and not think about shaving my pits.

[Mister Matt]

Posted: 4/17/08 at 1:00pm

If the consulate tries to mess with you, just bare your bottom teeth and growl a bit. And DON'T WASH YOUR HAIR! Or bathe. It's the only way you'll stay in this competition.

[keen on kean]

Posted: 4/17/08 at 4:19pm

Whatever you do, when you apply to be on a reality show that nine times out of nine has involved foreign travel, don't address the issue in advance. Just forget that you are a refugee until the day you are scheduled to depart from the United States. AND - make sure the producers of the show are as stupid as you are for not addressing this issue before qualifying you to participate.

[doodlenyc]

Posted: 4/17/08 at 4:31pm

Apparently having your cl** clipped makes you forgetful.

[Mister Matt]

Posted: 4/17/08 at 5:12pm

And try to look like ass on the most important day of the competition thus far.

[nitsua]

Posted: 4/17/08 at 5:16pm

I want to believe that extensive background checks are performed on anyone trying to get into any reality show. Someone would've known she's a refugee. It's not a secret that people have passports. I'm sure it's public record, if you know where to look.

I also can't believe it took the girl 2 hours to get from the Consulate to the airport. Where was this airport? New Jersey?

Last night's episode was the only I've seen of this season and I really didn't like Stacy Ann. She seemed completely fake and really whiny. I'm glad she's gone.

[Mister Matt]

Posted: 4/17/08 at 5:18pm

But Stacy Ann gives awesome lap dances!

Doo-doo doo-doo doo...

[broadwaywriter]

Posted: 4/17/08 at 5:38pm

Ugh I don't understand why Fatima didn't go home. Though she seems stronger and more interesting than Stacy Ann, I really can't stand Fatima's personality. Whatever - I doubt Fatima will win. Fatima is sick next episode and if she misses the commercial, she is in deeeeeep doo-doo. Dominique, in my opinion, is still the weakest in the group. Lauren for the win!!

[justagirl2]

Posted: 4/17/08 at 6:02pm

WTF? Does Fatima have voodoo powers she's working on Tyra? I wasn't huge on Stacy Ann, but I'd much rather deal with her than Fatima's stanky personality. I like Lauren, but realistically, she can't win. I'm rooting for Anya, I think.

[Jane2]

Posted: 4/17/08 at 9:23pm

I can't stand Dominique.

[broadwaywriter]

Posted: 4/18/08 at 10:07pm

If Lauren wins she will be one of my favorite winners (next to Yoanna). My favorite winners are:

1. Yoanna
2. Lauren (hopefullyyy)
3. Caridee
4. Adrianne
5. Danielle
6. Nicole
7. Eva
8. Naima
9. Saleisha
10. Jaslene

what is your order?

[elphabelle07]

Posted: 4/19/08 at 2:53am

1. Naima
2. Yoanna
3. Caridee
4. Danielle
5. Adrienne
6. Nicole
7. Eva
8. Jaslene
9. Siesha

[Mister Matt]

Posted: 4/22/08 at 10:23pm

Ok, let's all take a deep breath...before spitting a giant loogey on your television screen. It's time for me to don the rubber gloves and wade through the giant steaming pile of manure that was last week's episode.

*holds nose*

We open with Lauren mulling over the idea of winning because she believes there has never been a winner like her. While technically, as in a "punk chick", that is true, but as for the rough-around-the-edges-tough-girl-personality, just look at the very first winner, Adrienne. Obviously, Tyra's slight-of-hand smoke-and-mirrors powers of ignoring the obvious have had some influence in making others forget the first Cycle ever existed. Except for the fact that it is the only Cycle ever released on DVD. What the hell is taking so long? I WANT BONUS FEATURES!!

Whatever. Stacy Ann tells us she wants to push herself because she's always being stuck in the middle. Spoken like a true lap dancer. Don't worry Stacy Ann, you won't be in the middle much longer. Something totally spontaneous and surprising will happen that may cause your demise through no discernible fault of your own. Maybe. Since it is completely unplanned, I have no idea, though. Just a hunch.

Next, Dom, Fatima and some loser (SPOILER) are discussing the idea of going overseas as this show is wont to do. Fatima interviews that she lost her travel documents in Atlanta and may not be allowed to leave the country if she doesn't get them replaced soon. She explains to the girls that she has a Green Card and applied for the expedited issue of the travel documents, but hasn't received them yet, but she has her lawyer working on it. She cries and whines about wanting to have the same opportunity as everyone else. Which...she had. The other girls need to have their passports (except Stacy Ann). She just f***ed it up whereas the others...didn't.

*sigh*

First of all, there are some key elements missing in this story. What part did Atlanta play in the story? Was it during the audition process? Casting? Her 12th birthday party? I mean, technically you can't sign a contract to appear on the show without the proper documentation in hand already (most reality shows going overseas require them simply to audition). Which means the producers had to know she didn't have them unless she signed the contract before "Atlanta" and whatever happened there. Unless they were only required to audition and they never bothered to check at casting or anytime afterwards. Or did they??? But more on that later.

Secondly, we know this is a great storyline and there is no way Fatima will be eliminated. Period. It's like she was given immunity this week. A butchered cootchie, diva attitude, Green Card "refugee", lost travel documents, and a Cher weave. She is Top Model gold right now. The producers are just hoping she gets mugged on the way to the Consulate as a cherry on top. But I'm getting ahead of myself.

Paulina shows up for a little lesson on how to meet-and-greet and socialize. She pretends to be Miss DuBois and I'm totally hoping she turns into Patricia Arquette and starts neglecting her family because a dead housewife just told her that the killer is the middle-aged Assistant Manager making her Blizzard at Dairy Queen right now! Crushed Oreos were in her dream!! But no, we are given a parade of girls introducing themselves to "Miss DuBois" and they all really suck. After Paulina criticizes everyone, she leaves them with her words of wisdom which has something to do with thinking on their feet. Something like that. I was distracted by a jar of Marshmallow Fluff.

Fatima on the phone. The producers worry about Fatima and her documents so we don't lose our focus.

As the girls prepare dinner, Lauren cuts her thumb while chopping onions. Apparently, it's pretty bad as they said she cut through part of the nail and that has got to be painful. Being a punk rocker, I totally expected her to flip the bird to the kitchen knife and suture herself with safety pins, which doesn't happen. She goes to the hospital for stitches. WUSS!! Karen Finley: "I've known canned peaches with more chutzpah than her." Lauren gets a huge bandage on her thumb, but decides to distract everyone from it by the use of expletives. Karen Finley: "I can still see it, you little fabric softener baby!"

This leads to the "party" challenge where the girls get dolled up in J. Godfrey gowns (which...hahahaha...Dom totally botches his name...heehee....J. Giorgio is thrilled by the shout out, however and called his mother), walk a red carpet, get a short interview (Lauren is a potty mouth...go figure), and mingle with party guests (Whitney's boobs are the worst hide-and-seek players EVER) including past Top Model contestants April (yay!) and Jaslene, who is getting way too much face time. You'd think she was the last winner. Well, the last winner without years of previous interaction with Tyra Banks before finally getting chosen for the show, but whatever. Inexplicably, Anya wins. I guess the hypnotic effect of her voice and speech patterns brings the fashion industry to its knees. And what is her prize? She gets a photo shoot for a 7-Up campaign lying in a tub of lemons and limes naked. The panel obviously sees a career in this girl amongst the pages of Oui or Penthouse. And she gets a check for $10k. Previous nine Cycles: "WTF?" Stacy Ann is called out for coming across as "fake". And the element of suspense was given the week off.

After generous helpings of meaningless Anya-blather, we regain consciousness (Anya is so awesome...Anya is the best...Anya is... Huh?) and get back to the axis upon which the entire episode revolves...Fatima's irresponsibility. I MEAN DILEMMA! Fatima's unfortunate dilemma. Apparently, the producers got involved and talked to her lawyer and arranged an appointment at the Consulate at 9 am the following morning. You see where this is going, right? I mean, he actually says, "hope you can make it." Seriously.

Suddenly...Tyra mail! Read slowly and loudly. It instructs them to pack their bags and to get ready to leave in the morning (or something like that, but rhyming badly and whatnot). Fatima joins the girls in their excitement and starts screaming and jumping around. But then she realizes she jumped the gun by getting out of character because she has a major mishap to perform. "Sorry producers! My bad!"

The girls arrive at the photo shoot and...surprise! They are just using the bags for props in the shoot! AWWWW!!! They are not going anywhere *wink wink*! My eyes...can't stop...rolling. Fatima spills the beans to Mister Jay about her appointment with the Consulate and gets the "I'm so disappointed in you" lecture then heads off to (hopefully) get her documents (whatever) which was (not) accidentally scheduled by the producers, who apparently have suddenly chosen to act as mediators between her and her lawyer and the Consulate. Don't question it! It totaly makes sense after four margaritas, two Jäger bombs, and a Jello shot. You actually start to feel sorry for her. Especially since she looks like HELL. She didn't shower, comb her hair, nothing. It's not like she was expecting to be at a photo shoot or anything. "Fierce". DRINK!

The photo shoot is about the girls running to catch their private plane at the last minute (totally coincidental) and there is absolutely nothing remarkable that happens. The girls line up outside the plane and take turns being at the head of the line to board the plane. The best photo for each girl will be used in a single inclusive group photo of all the girls. How nice for the portfolio. The photo session footage is interspersed with footage of Fatima in the cab! Whitney is too posey. Fatima entering the Consulate! Stacy Ann has wind in her eyes. Fatima in the cab! Dom rocks it out. Fatima still in the cab! Meanwhile, after the shoot, the girls go directly to judging at the plane hangar. OMG! Judging so soon! At an airport! Seriously, I don't know how long I can keep this up. Fatima arrives JUST IN TIME for judging to begin. WHEW!!

Tyra pretends to be all pissed and goes on about how missing the photo shoot is such a huge deal because she could be sent home for that which...really? Not in most of the Cycles I've seen from what I remember. Must be the Goldschlager. Lauren is gorgeous and they discuss what a hit she was at the party, but why does she act like a kitten caught in the rain at judging? I'm not sure why this matters so much, but apparently, it is a huge deal as they mention it every freakin' week. Dom nails it, which sucks for us. Stacy Ann is fake and posey. Mister Jay vainly sticks up for her. Her jaw is mentioned again and Paulina has to turn it to be all about her again. Paulina, look at Stacy Ann's jaw. Not the same thing. At all. Let it go. Whitney was fake and posey. Because they need something negative to say and the adjective jar is empty. They love Anya and I still don't get it. Katarzyna was there, apparently. I think. Raise your hand Katarzyna! There she is. Fatima speech. Blah blah blah...tulips spontaneously bloom in the plane hangar from the amount of manure piling up in the course of the episode.

So the girls get their photos and lo and behold...Fatima and Stacy Ann are in the bottom two. Fatima still looks like ass and probably smells bad. Fatima is calm and Stacy Ann is in tears because they both know what is about to happen. Fatima is rewarded for being irresponsible, waiting until the last minute, not attending the photo shoot, letting other people clean up her mess and looking like a hot tranny mess in the process. I MEAN HER BODY OF WORK! Fatima stays because of her awesome photos is what I meant to say.

Tyra arrogantly snots about how the judges get to ride in a private jet first class and the girls have to slum it in coach in a commercial liner. Then she reveals they are going to Rome. Screaming ensues. Except Stacy Ann. Innocent victim of a reality show plot line. At least she can always fall back on lap dancing. How prophetic that her memorable lyrics should so aptly describe her departing episode: Doo-doo doo-doo doo...

Pack your bags, y'all we're going to Rome!

Updated On: 4/23/08 at 10:23 PM

[Mister Matt]

Posted: 4/23/08 at 12:56pm

My favorite winners:

1. Danielle
2. Eva
3. Caridee
4. Yoanna
5. Adrienne
6. Naima
7. Saleisha
8. Nicole
9. Jaslene

[doodlenyc]

Posted: 4/23/08 at 1:30pm

Fave winners:
1. Danielle (sucka!)
2. Caridee
3. Adrienne
4. Yoanna
5. Eva
6. Naima
7. Jaslene
8. Nicole
9. Saliesha

I wonder if "Atlanta" is code for her dirty place.

[SonofMammaMiaSam]

Posted: 4/23/08 at 1:38pm

Faves:
1. Danielle
2. Caridee
3. Eva (girl is working!)
4. Yoanna
5. Adrienne
6. Naima
7. Jaslene
8. Nicole
9. Saliesha

[doodlenyc]

Posted: 4/23/08 at 1:40pm

So's Adrienne!

Oh, you mean modeling.

[Elphaba3]

Posted: 4/23/08 at 1:57pm

1. Yoanna
2. Caridee
3. Eva
4. Danielle
5. Jaslene
6. Adrianne
7. Nicole
8. Saleisha
9. Naima

[SonofMammaMiaSam]

Posted: 4/23/08 at 2:00pm

A photo of Nik. Well, just because!

[Jane2]

Posted: 4/23/08 at 2:19pm

Faves: 1. Jaslene
2. Caridee
3. Adrienne
4.Danielle
5. All the rest except-
6. Saleisha, the worst

[MTVMANN]

Posted: 4/23/08 at 2:45pm

Fatima's issue was obviously a miscue made by the producers and Tyra seemed to be embarrassed by the whole thing, and that's why she acted as she did in judging.

However, IMO, Fatima has a better portfolio than Stacy Ann (and I think she's prettier too) but I still liked her anyways.

As for Fatima, from the previews she seems sick. I think she knows she is on thin ice and wouldn't actually not show up at the photo shoot. But if she pulls a "Natasha" (remember how bad she was when she was sick on the photo shoot?) she is out.

I think I said this before, but ANTM has in the past given us clues about the competition by the line-up in the opening credits. Off-hand, I can remember that in Cycle 6 the runner-up Joanie was first and the winner Dani :) was last. In Cycle 8 the runner-up Natasha was first and the winner Jaslene was last.
Last cycle, I did not want Jenna to win (she was last in the line-up) and I was happy to see that not work out.

Anyways, I'm thinking that it is going to turn out very similar this cycle. Anya is the first and Lauren is last, and they are both here!
Anya is doing so well and several competitions and Lauren is able to hang on (Other girls in past Cycles have gone home for what she does: bad walk and no confidence in judging). They obviously like her.
I can easily see them in the final two and Lauren winning because she is "different" and Anya is not as "different" as Lauren.

[Mister Matt]

Posted: 4/23/08 at 4:59pm

As much as I like Lauren, I can't see her winning unless she pulls out a fierce runway walk from thin air. I don't see her getting past the commercial, which is tonight's episode, unless Fatima pulls another no-show (by her own accord this time). But stranger things have happened. Like last week.

Personally, I think Whitney is going to win. I think they are determined to have a plus-sized winner to prove a point (not that Whitney's not good enough). I believe she'll be in the final two with Anya. Dominique has been getting props from the judges lately, though the preview leads us to believe she bites it in the commercial. And what about Katarzyna? I've been really impressed with her photos, but she's hardly present in any of the episodes. It's like she's scenery. Even Claire and Stacy Ann had more screen time.

I don't know if Fatima's going much further. She's really been hit or miss. Remember the meat photo and the armpit hair? Unless Fatima had never seen the show nor ever told by anyone that international travel would be involved, her issue was her own. And if she somehow lost her documents in a layover on her way to New York or something, it's unfortunate, but the producer's involvement and her being allowed to stay really was quite unfair to the rest of the contestants. If it had happened to any of the other girls do you think it would have ended up in the same result?

[Ezra]

Posted: 4/23/08 at 5:14pm

Thanks for the Nik pic. She's one of my favorites. I'm still pissed off at her loss to Nicole.

This cycle, I'm on team Whitney!!

[Mister Matt]

Posted: 4/23/08 at 5:27pm

I wasn't a huge Nik fan, but I certainly would have chosen her over Nicole. Kim was my favorite from Cycle 5. When Nicole wasn't being a whiny wet blanket, I found her impossibly dull.