How about this...Walking home one night from buying an influential substance, I put my key in the door, took a step inside, and I hear someone behind me telling me to "Stop right there!"
I turn around and there is a man holding a gun at me. I though "Oh My God! I'm being..."
Then the van screeched up behind him, and I realised that it was the cops. He was in plain clothes.
Thus began my adventure to Central Booking in the Bronx - a 24 hour experience.
"Do you know what pledge time is, Andrew"? said the PBS Executive.
"Yes", Lloyd Webber replied. "My 50th birthday special must be one program that gets done a lot."
"No", mused the man from PBS heedlessy. "Not so much. Our Stephen Sondheim Carnegie Hall concert. That's a big one."
Spoons, forks and knives seemed suddenly to suspend their motion in horror, all around the table.