Can the Adults Please Smoke? Chapter 35: Look Who's Here,We're Still Here!!- Page 151

[SonofMammaMiaSam]

Posted: 7/3/12 at 7:46am

I say, wear shorts and a tank, bring in the George Forman and grill up some italian sausage and peppers, and finish off a big bottle of Malibu. Screw them!

[D2]

Posted: 7/3/12 at 7:47am

G'morning.

I had a very disconcerting experience yesterday in the park. This little girl, about 4 years old and parents nowhere in sight, kept following Max and me. At first I was polite and let her pet him, but she kept following me and trying to play with Max, getting him agitated and out of control. Just as I bent down to pick him up so I could get the hell out of there, she tried to get him to "sit," and when he wouldn't she HIT him! She hit him so hard he yelped and jumped into my arms. I was so shocked and enraged, but I kept my cool and just held him and walked out of the park, saying "I'm taking him home now." She followed me all the way out to the street but I kept going, hoping she'd be hit by a bus. For all I know she is still wandering the streets. I don't care.

Where the hell were the parents?

Max was fine by the time we got home, but I was shaken all night.

[Bluemoon]

Posted: 7/3/12 at 7:50am

Crap, Deet - that's horrible on so many levels! I don't think I would have been able to hold my tongue.

'Morning, all!

[D2]

Posted: 7/3/12 at 7:57am

I know. It's strange how many thoughts can race through your mind in moments like that. My first instinct was to protect Max, but in a matter of a millisecond I also debated yelling at her, and/or smacking her over to the east side of the park, and then realizing that I'd be in trouble with either of those options so I decided to just get the hell out of there as quickly as possible.

I know Max is a magnet for nearly everyone -- he is a beautiful dog, and he's very, very friendly in that irresistible puppy way. But I stick to my original thoughts from 30 years ago: I like children, well done with steak sauce on the side.

[bdwaygirl]

Posted: 7/3/12 at 8:03am

Where's that little bitch...

[MotorTink]

Posted: 7/3/12 at 8:03am

haha unleash the girly

ETA - that was freaky timing

Updated On: 7/3/12 at 08:03 AM

[Bluemoon]

Posted: 7/3/12 at 8:19am

That's because you know her so well.

[Broadwayboobs]

Posted: 7/3/12 at 8:21am

Deet, you should have said calmly to her..."how would you like it if I slapped you?" That always takes kids by surprise and makes them think. Sometimes they even cry just imagining you slapping them. Yes I know from experience.

[bdwaygirl]

Posted: 7/3/12 at 8:22am

I figured you'd seen my post. Haha!!

[SonofMammaMiaSam]

Posted: 7/3/12 at 8:23am

911: "I'd like to report an abandoned child in Central Park."

[D2]

Posted: 7/3/12 at 8:26am

For all I know, the 'rents were hidden behind a tree watching the whole thing and just waiting to jump out yelling "Ay Caramba, Child Molester!" or something like that. Had it been in a controlled situation like a house party or something like that, absolutely, Boobs.

But at that moment, in the park -- the best option was to get out of there as quickly as possible without attracting too much attention. I would have been in a no-win situation had I done anything else.

[MotorTink]

Posted: 7/3/12 at 8:30am

yes, you really didn't have much other of a choice. Stupid people ruining perfectly good mornings.

[Broadwayboobs]

Posted: 7/3/12 at 8:31am

Congrats Deet on keeping your composure. I know my Italian rage would have gotten the best of me. Thanks, Grandma!

[D2]

Posted: 7/3/12 at 8:33am

It wasn't easy, Boobs. If I'd gone to Starbucks before taking him into the park last night, it might have been a very different outcome.

[Bluemoon]

Posted: 7/3/12 at 8:34am

Yeah, I like SOMMS's response best.

[bdwaygirl]

Posted: 7/3/12 at 8:35am

And as Deet says about me, I would've "gone all Polish on her little ass".

[D2]

Posted: 7/3/12 at 8:37am

I considered calling 911, but

1: didn't want to have to stay in the area, which I know from experience they would have asked me to do.

2: was so enraged I truly didn't care about the welfare of the child. There, I said it.

[Broadwayboobs]

Posted: 7/3/12 at 8:43am

And I have to say one thing...I don't blame the kids anymore...I blame the parents. These "new age" parents need to get a reality check!

[Bluemoon]

Posted: 7/3/12 at 8:43am

Well, yeah, that's true. Once again, stupid parents produce destructive idiots that the rest of us have to deal with,

[D2]

Posted: 7/3/12 at 8:46am

That's another thing that's so disturbing about it; if her reaction was to hit, I can only imagine where and how she learned that behavior.

[mominator]

Posted: 7/3/12 at 8:48am

So sorry Deet! Glad to hear Max is OK. Yes free range children are a blight.

[Bluemoon]

Posted: 7/3/12 at 8:53am

"Free range children". That may be the best phrase I've heard this week.

[D2]

Posted: 7/3/12 at 8:56am

Fried, with mashed potatoes and gravy, peas, and strawberry shortcake for dessert.

[SonofMammaMiaSam]

Posted: 7/3/12 at 9:12am

... and in a related story out of San Francisco ...

http://blog.sfgate.com/crime/2012/07/02/woman-82-hurt-protecting-gg-park-goose/

[Bluemoon]

Posted: 7/3/12 at 9:13am

She had it coming.